Lily's Gift
by JaimiPenney
Summary: What if Lily wasn't meant to be with James? What if she loved somebody else? What if Lily possesed a gift that no one knew about, not even Lord Voldemort?
1. Lily's Gift

"You're a jerk Potter!" Lily Evans cried, as tall James Potter held her arms tightly so she couldn't break away from him. Her normally green eyes were flashing as red as her hair as she spat the angry words, "Never have I met a more arrogant person!"  
  
"What's wrong babe, I thought you'd be happy to be caressed by the best looking, most talented wizard in the school?" James whispered. Lily closed her eyes if only she could reach her wand. It was in the front pocket of her black robes.  
  
"James," she cried desperately, "Please, you're hurting me!"  
  
"So we're on a first name basis?" he asked, "Finally getting through to you that we are meant to be together am I? I was beginning to think I'd have to write a book, since that seems to be the only think your interested in." His untidy black hair blew in the breeze coming from the lake they were standing by.  
  
"It's better than what you do for fun!" she yelled, "You walk around here like the King of Hogwarts, thinking you know everything! Well Potter, I've got news we're only in our third year and you can barely scare off a Boggart! A little talent on the Quidditch pitch and you think you can walk all over anyone, especially me and Severus!"  
  
James released his grip in his anger.  
  
"Gonna go run and protect your greasy haired boyfriend, Lily?" James said standing taller so he towered her, "Gonna go betray our house to be with a slimy, ugly Slytherin?"  
  
"Severus Snape is no more my boyfriend than you, but he hasn't done anything wrong!"  
  
Lily turned away from James and began her way towards the steps to the entrance to the school.  
  
"Lily!" he called when she had made it halfway up the steps. She paused and turned to face him again.  
  
"Do you know what I see in your future?" she hissed into the starry evening.  
  
"Order of Merlin, first class?" James asked hopefully.  
  
"Death!" Lily bellowed before retreating inside and slamming the door.  
  
Lily woke up with a start.  
  
"It's about time you woke up!" coughed the mirror across from her four poster bed. Lily let out a sigh. This was the third time this week she had slept in. She'd been having that dream again, the one that involved the fight she'd had with James Potter in her third year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It was now their sixth year, but she was still dreaming about it. Perhaps it was because she had told him what she had foreseen in his future. Lily was very gifted, in the way that she could see into the future and feel into peoples minds. She could feel their emotion and their thoughts. It was a very rare gift that other than Lily, only Professor Dumbledore, the headmaster at Hogwarts, had. He had taught her how to perfect her skills.  
  
Realizing she was going to be late for class again she got out of bed quickly and pushed her lingering thoughts of James dying out of her mind. She pulled on her school robes and glanced around her dormitory. All the girls were already up and gone.  
  
"Thanks for waking me up!" Lily muttered glancing at Alice Cooper's messy bed. Alice had been Lily's best friend at Hogwarts since the first time Lily had boarded the train. The Hogwarts Express which was located on platform nine and three quarters wasn't the first or last thing that would mystify Lily. She was born with magical talent, whereas nobody else in her family possessed a single drop of magical blood. The last five years she had spent at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry had helped her learn and adapt to the magical culture. In turn, she was the smartest witch in the sixth year class. Lily routinely made her bed and then ran a brush through her thick wavy red hair. She loathed her hair and yet all the girls envied it. They said it went well with her unmistakably green eyes. Lily was known as one of the most beautiful witches to have walked Hogwarts but she didn't let this go to her head.  
  
Lily grabbed her overflowing book bag, shouldered it and ran downstairs to find the empty common room. Hogwarts was divided into four houses which all had their own dormitories, common room, quidditch team (the most popular wizard sport) and helpful ghost. Hufflepuff were kind and loyal, Ravenclaw were quick and clever, Slytherin was said to be the worst house. It had produced many evil wizards and witches including the darkest wizard in a century, Lord Voldemort. Gryffindor, to which Lily belonged, was home to those who were the bravest and boldest of all.  
  
Lily skipped breakfast in the Great Hall with no time to spare. She was running down the torch-lit corridor on her way to her first class History of Magic when the bell rang. Lily pushed open the heavy wood doors of the class. Everyone turned to see who had come to class late, including professor Binns.  
  
"Late again Miss Evans," Professor Binns sighed gliding over. Professor Binns was a ghost. One night long ago he had fell asleep in the staff dining room and died. He woke up the next morning and went to class leaving his body behind. He was the only ghost teacher at Hogwarts, "That's the second time this week!" He continued disapprovingly.  
  
"Third actually sir," A deep voice from the back of the dim room said.  
  
"Thank you Mr. Potter," Professor Binns smiled, "And being a prefect Evans, I don't think being late is acceptable."  
  
"Sorry sir," Lily apologized going quite red. How dare Potter say what he said? What nerve! She took her seat at the back of the classroom beside Alice.  
  
"Sorry," Alice whispered, but Lily held up her hand, she didn't want to hear it. Ever since Alice had started dating that Longbottom boy she had been forgetting a lot of things.  
  
"Were you dreaming about me last night?" A familiar voice whispered in her ear. Unfortunately she was sitting right in front of James Potter and his friends who were choking back laughter. Besides tall, muscular and handsome James, there was Sirius Black, James's side-kick. He was taller than James, with dark hair, a chiseled face and deep mysterious eyes. Remus Lupin, was thin, scraggly, blonde and blue eyed. He was kind and gentle and for the most part the most responsible of the four. Last was short, chubby Peter Pettigrew who fallowed the other boys aimlessly. The four "Marauders" as they called themselves were avid mischief makers. The only thing that kept them from being suspended was that they were all quite bright, and with James's talent in quidditch and his popularity among the students and teachers, expulsion was almost out of the question.  
  
"You know they say when one person dreams about another person that person dreams about them too, and I had the most wonderful dream involving me and you and a bed last night. Care to make it a reality?" James hissed.  
  
Lily turned around and glared at him staring into his hazel eyes.  
  
"If only you'd go out with me Evans, I've been asking you since the third year!"  
  
"Get stuffed Potter!" Lily growled.  
  
"Aww did Lily get her panties in a bunch in her rush this morning?" Sirius laughed.  
  
Lily let out a groan and turned around to copy the note on the Giant Massacre of 1697.  
  
"I don't know," said James, "Maybe we should find out!"  
  
Suddenly Lily felt her uniform skirt rising. One of the boys, no doubt Potter had stuck his foot under her robes and was lifting it up.  
  
"What are you doing?!" She screeched standing up abruptly.  
  
"Evans!" Binns barked, "Must you continue to disrupt my class, five points from Gryffindor!"  
  
"Sir, I didn't mean to but Potter."  
  
"Is working hard on his note, maybe you should fallow his example. Lily sat down with a huff listening to the boys muffle their laughs in the sleeves of their robes.  
  
Her day seemed to be everlasting. Fortunately she didn't have to endure James's charm any longer for she only had her first class with him. She did have, however more classes, Arithmancy and Advanced Transfiguration for the Gifted, with Sirius Black. Away from his friends Sirius was quiet, studious and funny. Today in her final class he had burst into Transfiguration and for the first time sat beside Lily.  
  
"I'm sorry about this morning Lily," he said solemnly. The honest twinkle in his dark eyes was what made Lily believe him as she looked at him skeptically. She was so used to his rowdy James-like side that he gave her a bit of a shock.  
  
"Sometimes," he continued, "James and I get carried away, but don't worry because Remus always yells at us for being jerks."  
  
He grinned at her. Lily didn't smile as cute as his grin was his remark this morning hadn't sat well.  
  
"You know you remind me a lot of Remus all serious and stuff."  
  
"Me, serious?" Lily asked.  
  
"Don't pretend to be shocked, you're all into the whole school and preparing for life thing. I've seen you color code your notes, and make revision timetables. You start reviewing for exams three months before they start and spend half your life in a library!"  
  
"That doesn't mean I'm serious, I'm just responsible, you don't know the first thing about me Black!" Lily replied defensively.  
  
"Sure I do, you're name is Lily Evans, you're the smartest girl in the sixth year, you are the apple of James Potters eye and the envy of almost every girl in the school." Sirius told her.  
  
"That's nothing," Lily said looking away from him still scowling.  
  
"I didn't mean to defend you," Sirius said quietly, "Being serious is odd to me, I never get the chance to be serious anymore, James doesn't really like serious people."  
  
"If I'm so serious, then why is he so keen on me?" Lily asked.  
  
"I ." Sirius trailed on.  
  
"It's because of my hair, and my eyes and my body. He doesn't care as long as it's the best. Well tell him I'm flattered," Lily said sarcastically.  
  
"He's not all bad you know, he just comes off a bit strong." Sirius explained.  
  
"A bit strong?" She repeated with a laugh, "Ha, James thinks he's God's gift to women, thinks he's all that and a quidditch pitch, but all I see in him is an arrogant jerk. He is good-looking, he does have talent but it's overshadowed by his huge grotesque head and wasted away by his selfish heart. He is rude, ignorant and cocky!"  
  
"He is a great guy when you get to know him," Sirius insisted.  
  
"Look, I didn't ask for the Potter fan club okay?" Lily scuffed, "The guy treats me like crap!"  
  
"Well that might be because he likes you," Sirius told her.  
  
"Well that's not how you win this heart," Lily whispered pointing to her chest. Professor McGonagall had just entered so Lily took out a quill.  
  
Since they were nearly half way through the school year, Professor gave them an introduction to simple human transfigurations. They would be working, for the next several weeks on the transformations. Lily was excited, she had been waiting to learn about Human Transfiguration all her life, as Transfiguration was her favorite class and she hoped to be an anamagi (a witch who could turn into one animal at will). She glanced at Sirius, he was grinning broadly, obviously happy about McGonagall's announcement.  
  
Lily took her seat beside Alice in the Great Hall for dinner after class. She could hardly wait to tell her about their Human Transformation class. Before she could begin to tell her, Professor Dumbledore, the Headmaster, stood up silently. The effect he had on the students was amazing, immediately the Hall was completely quiet.  
  
"I have a most unfortunate announcement to make," Dumbledore said solemnly.  
  
Lily looked up and was sure that Dumbledore caught her eye.  
  
"There has been news," He continued addressing the whole school, "The dark lord Voldemort has gained more strength and began killing muggles last night."  
  
Many shocked gasped echoed up towards the enchanted ceiling of the Hall which was bewitched to look like the sky outside. Lily blinked quickly. Her parents were muggles.  
  
'Please,' she prayed silently, 'Please don't let it be them,'  
  
"I warn you all," Dumbledore's voice boomed, "To take caution because I fear very soon Voldemort will turn his wand on his fellow wizards."  
  
Lily sat there staring at Dumbledore for a few moments; she could sense the fear all around her. Here and there were hints of bravery. Lily's mind reading thoughts went haywire. Flashes of people's memories and thoughts flooded her mind. Some thought they could stand up to the dark lord. Others were cowering in the furthest corners of their minds; others like her were worried about their family members. She closed her eyes feeling a headache coming on.  
  
"Are you okay?" Alice asked reaching out and touching her friends arm.  
  
"What?" Lily opened her eyes quickly, "Yea just feeling a bit light headed, I need to go to bed."  
  
"You don't think it could be your." Alice hesitated.  
  
"Dumbledore would have told her," Said James Potter who had walked up behind the two friends. Lily let out a sigh.  
  
"Goodnite," She whispered turning to leave.  
  
"What about a kiss?" James called after her.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Red flashed through Lily's mind. She turned in her sleep. A voice was screaming far away. It was pleading for help. Lily reached out, the person sounded like they didn't want to be alone. Suddenly a green light drowned out the red. A deeper voice, the smell of death, burning smoldering heat. This sensation filled Lily's body until she was screaming in pain. Reality cam to her. She was lying in her bed in a twisted position. She was still burning. The pain was sickening, she was so hot. She tried to take a deep breath but choked on the smoke pouring out of her mouth and nose. She couldn't get oxygen. Her throat was becoming tight. She gasped. A darkness fell over her.  
  
When Lily woke up she was in the hospital wing. Madam Pompfry was busily bustling about flicking her wand at beds, which began magically making themselves. Lily was lying in an infirmary bed. She glanced around the white linen filled room. Beside her, on the night stand was a very large bottle of Magicure, which was a strong tasting medicine guaranteed to cure any wizard ailment. Madam Pompfry had just paused to admire her handiwork when the Infirmary door burst open.  
  
"Albus!" Madam Pompfry smiled at him cheerfully.  
  
"Poppy," Said Dumbledore gravely, glancing behind the nurse toward where Lily lie, "The Magicure?" he questioned.  
  
"Worked fine, she had a sound sleep." Madam Pompfry beamed.  
  
"Excellent!"  
  
"Albus, what happened to her last night, you brought her in here screaming and screaming, and didn't say one word to me."  
  
"I'm sorry my dear Poppy," Dumbledore apologized, "You are aware that Miss Evans can see the future?" he asked.  
  
"Well yes, of course, I mean all the staff were informed upon her arrival." Madam Pompfry explained.  
  
"Miss Evans not only sees the future, but she can read thoughts and emotions, feel them as if they were her own, but now she has shown the most peculiar talent.." he trailed off.  
  
"Yes Headmaster?"  
  
"Lily can also feel peoples physical states," Dumbledore said, "Which makes her predictions far more complex, but also far more accurate."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yes Poppy, possibly even more accurate than any of my own predictions."  
  
Far more accurate than any of Albus Dumbledores predictions! Lily pondered lying silently on the bed. Albus Dumbledore was considered by many the greatest wizard of all time. How could a sixteen year old, not even fully trained witch be better than him? She lay there bewildered. Sharing her shock was the patron of the hospital wing.  
  
"Albus, you can't be serious?" the witch insisted.  
  
"All I can say to you is that Lily will play a bigger part in all of our lives than we think. Things happen for reasons." Dumbledore said softly, "Now, I will need to talk to Miss Evans if you don't mind Poppy,"  
  
"No, of course Headmaster," Madam Pompfry said quickly, "I will be in my office if you need me," she walked briskly off towards her office door.  
  
"Lily," Dumbledore said approaching her bed, "You can stop pretending you are sleeping now."  
  
Lily's eyes flew open and she sat up quickly, "Professor Dumbledore, you can't be serious, I don' think you understand, I was having a dream!"  
  
"I know Lily, please remember you are not the only one here that can read minds," he smiled.  
  
"I felt," Lily gasped, " I felt like I was on fire, I couldn't breath!"  
  
"I believe that you were seeing a future event Lily, I believe that you can feel physical characteristics of your predictions, so perhaps where your prediction took place was very hot."  
  
"There was somebody, a woman screaming, I could hear her!" Lily cried.  
  
"A fragment of the future no doubt," Dumbledore nodded.  
  
"But i wish I knew who it was so I could warn her not to go near hot places." Lily whispered uncertainly.  
  
"Lily, you posses a rare gift; one which can allow you to foresee events. But you must not stop these events from taking place. You may use your ability to alter them but never to cancel events out. All things happen for a reason, we must use our gifts to help us understand why things happen, and what we must do in our lives." Dumbledore told Lily, "Now I must go, for the Minister of Magic wishes to speak with me." Dumbledore said leaving Lily to think about what he had said.  
  
Lily lay back down thinking about how she didn't think being able to see and feel the future was a gift. Madam Pompfry cam over to her.  
  
"You are free to head down to the Great Hall for breakfast,"  
  
Lily closed the hangings about her bed and changed into her school robes.  
  
Down in the Great Hall, a host of people from Gryffindor gathered around, having heard about her episode the night before.  
  
"It was nothing," Lily insisted,  
  
"That's not was Alice said, she told us that you were screaming at the top of you're lungs, and you went a funny color and fell out of your bed!" said Martimus Fintch, who was in the seventh and final year.  
  
Lily ate quickly avoiding conversation with anyone but her closest friends.  
  
Lily made it to History of Magic on time.  
  
"Wow, look the Book Worm makes it to class on time!" James shouted, his friends laughing.  
  
"Shut up Potter," Lily said sitting down and taking out her notebook.  
  
"What are you gonna do, start screaming again?" James asked. The other boys laughed. Lily shook her head as the bell rang and class began.  
  
Her morning continued with people hounding her for information on what had happened to her. It had been rumored through the school that Lord Voldemort had been attacking her. She laughed hysterically at the second year boy who told her this. Lunch wasn't any better. James walked by and complimented her on her new found fame. She groaned. Arithmancy was boring as ever and finaly Lily made it to her most favorite class. Transfiguration. She was the first one there, and she took her regular seat at the back of the class. Sirius came bursting in very loudly and took his seat beside her.  
  
"So," he said getting his notebook, quill and ink jar out, "Are you okay?"  
  
"What?" Lily looked horrified.  
  
"Are you okay?" Sirius asked looking into her eyes, "I heard something happened to you so i was just wondering if you were okay?"  
  
Lily looked into his eyes a little longer,  
  
"Yea, I'm fine, I just had a bad dream," Lily told him  
  
"Do you dream often?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Yea, always," Lily replied.  
  
"About?" Sirius questioned.  
  
"Different things," Lily hesitated, she had never told anyone about her "seeing" ability.  
  
"Well so long as you are okay." Sirius shrugged.  
  
"Why are you being so friendly?" Lily demanded, but Sirius never got the chance to answer.  
  
Professor McGonagall had made her way to the front of the class room.  
  
"Today we begin our study on Human Transfigurations. For our first transformation I thought we would stick to something simple; something simple like birds. But before you make any transformation you must prepare yourselves for what it will be like once you are the object you wish to transform into. Therefore we will do a quick study on birds and then head out to the broom shed to practice our flying skills, which some of you haven't practiced since the first year."  
  
Lily gulped; she was terrified of flying and very horrible at it.  
  
"You will be paired with the person you are sitting beside. You will help your partners train for and perform the Transfiguration."  
  
"I hate flying!" Lily said turning towards Sirius.  
  
"Don't worry, I'll show you how!" Sirius smiled at her, "I have alot of skill!"  
  
They studied birds for a half hour. Lily had compiled a list of everything from what birds at to their mating rituals.  
  
"Are you planning on using that?" Sirius laughed pointing to the small summary of a birds mating call.  
  
"No!" Lily said sharply.  
  
"Hey!" Sirius sounded wounded, " I was kidding, but anyway its time for us to head out to the broom shed!"  
  
"Oh, god!" Lily cried  
  
They all made their way out of the class towards the moving staircases. As they were making their way towards the main entrance Sirius whispered, "Are you scared?"  
  
"Shitless!" Lily said.  
  
Sirius looked surprised he had never heard Lily swear.  
  
"You swore!" He pointed at her.  
  
"Yea there's a lot of things I do you don't know about," Lily replied, looking horrified as they crossed the lawn towards the shed.  
  
"Apparently flying isn't one of them," Sirius joked. 


	2. The Dream

Chapter 2  
  
Red flashed through Lily's mind. She turned in her sleep. A voice was screaming far away. It was pleading for help. Lily reached out, the person sounded like they didn't want to be alone. Suddenly a green light drowned out the red. A deeper voice, the smell of death, burning smoldering heat. This sensation filled Lily's body until she was screaming in pain. Reality cam to her. She was lying in her bed in a twisted position. She was still burning. The pain was sickening, she was so hot. She tried to take a deep breath but choked on the smoke pouring out of her mouth and nose. She couldn't get oxygen. Her throat was becoming tight. She gasped. A darkness fell over her.  
  
When Lily woke up she was in the hospital wing. Madam Pompfry was busily bustling about flicking her wand at beds, which began magically making themselves. Lily was lying in an infirmary bed. She glanced around the white linen filled room. Beside her, on the night stand was a very large bottle of Magicure, which was a strong tasting medicine guaranteed to cure any wizard ailment. Madam Pompfry had just paused to admire her handiwork when the Infirmary door burst open.  
  
"Albus!" Madam Pompfry smiled at him cheerfully.  
  
"Poppy," Said Dumbledore gravely, glancing behind the nurse toward where Lily lie, "The Magicure?" he questioned.  
  
"Worked fine, she had a sound sleep." Madam Pompfry beamed.  
  
"Excellent!"  
  
"Albus, what happened to her last night, you brought her in here screaming and screaming, and didn't say one word to me."  
  
"I'm sorry my dear Poppy," Dumbledore apologized, "You are aware that Miss Evans can see the future?" he asked.  
  
"Well yes, of course, I mean all the staff were informed upon her arrival." Madam Pompfry explained.  
  
"Miss Evans not only sees the future, but she can read thoughts and emotions, feel them as if they were her own, but now she has shown the most peculiar talent.." he trailed off.  
  
"Yes Headmaster?"  
  
"Lily can also feel peoples physical states," Dumbledore said, "Which makes her predictions far more complex, but also far more accurate."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yes Poppy, possibly even more accurate than any of my own predictions."  
  
Far more accurate than any of Albus Dumbledores predictions! Lily pondered lying silently on the bed. Albus Dumbledore was considered by many the greatest wizard of all time. How could a sixteen year old, not even fully trained witch be better than him? She lay there bewildered. Sharing her shock was the patron of the hospital wing.  
  
"Albus, you can't be serious?" the witch insisted.  
  
"All I can say to you is that Lily will play a bigger part in all of our lives than we think. Things happen for reasons." Dumbledore said softly, "Now, I will need to talk to Miss Evans if you don't mind Poppy,"  
  
"No, of course Headmaster," Madam Pompfry said quickly, "I will be in my office if you need me," she walked briskly off towards her office door.  
  
"Lily," Dumbledore said approaching her bed, "You can stop pretending you are sleeping now."  
  
Lily's eyes flew open and she sat up quickly, "Professor Dumbledore, you can't be serious, I don' think you understand, I was having a dream!"  
  
"I know Lily, please remember you are not the only one here that can read minds," he smiled.  
  
"I felt," Lily gasped, " I felt like I was on fire, I couldn't breath!"  
  
"I believe that you were seeing a future event Lily, I believe that you can feel physical characteristics of your predictions, so perhaps where your prediction took place was very hot."  
  
"There was somebody, a woman screaming, I could hear her!" Lily cried.  
  
"A fragment of the future no doubt," Dumbledore nodded.  
  
"But i wish I knew who it was so I could warn her not to go near hot places." Lily whispered uncertainly.  
  
"Lily, you posses a rare gift; one which can allow you to foresee events. But you must not stop these events from taking place. You may use your ability to alter them but never to cancel events out. All things happen for a reason, we must use our gifts to help us understand why things happen, and what we must do in our lives." Dumbledore told Lily, "Now I must go, for the Minister of Magic wishes to speak with me." Dumbledore said leaving Lily to think about what he had said.  
  
Lily lay back down thinking about how she didn't think being able to see and feel the future was a gift. Madam Pompfry cam over to her.  
  
"You are free to head down to the Great Hall for breakfast,"  
  
Lily closed the hangings about her bed and changed into her school robes.  
  
Down in the Great Hall, a host of people from Gryffindor gathered around, having heard about her episode the night before.  
  
"It was nothing," Lily insisted,  
  
"That's not was Alice said, she told us that you were screaming at the top of you're lungs, and you went a funny color and fell out of your bed!" said Martimus Fintch, who was in the seventh and final year.  
  
Lily ate quickly avoiding conversation with anyone but her closest friends.  
  
Lily made it to History of Magic on time.  
  
"Wow, look the Book Worm makes it to class on time!" James shouted, his friends laughing.  
  
"Shut up Potter," Lily said sitting down and taking out her notebook.  
  
"What are you gonna do, start screaming again?" James asked. The other boys laughed. Lily shook her head as the bell rang and class began.  
  
Her morning continued with people hounding her for information on what had happened to her. It had been rumored through the school that Lord Voldemort had been attacking her. She laughed hysterically at the second year boy who told her this. Lunch wasn't any better. James walked by and complimented her on her new found fame. She groaned. Arithmancy was boring as ever and finaly Lily made it to her most favorite class. Transfiguration. She was the first one there, and she took her regular seat at the back of the class. Sirius came bursting in very loudly and took his seat beside her.  
  
"So," he said getting his notebook, quill and ink jar out, "Are you okay?"  
  
"What?" Lily looked horrified.  
  
"Are you okay?" Sirius asked looking into her eyes, "I heard something happened to you so i was just wondering if you were okay?"  
  
Lily looked into his eyes a little longer,  
  
"Yea, I'm fine, I just had a bad dream," Lily told him  
  
"Do you dream often?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Yea, always," Lily replied.  
  
"About?" Sirius questioned.  
  
"Different things," Lily hesitated, she had never told anyone about her "seeing" ability.  
  
"Well so long as you are okay." Sirius shrugged.  
  
"Why are you being so friendly?" Lily demanded, but Sirius never got the chance to answer.  
  
Professor McGonagall had made her way to the front of the class room.  
  
"Today we begin our study on Human Transfigurations. For our first transformation I thought we would stick to something simple; something simple like birds. But before you make any transformation you must prepare yourselves for what it will be like once you are the object you wish to transform into. Therefore we will do a quick study on birds and then head out to the broom shed to practice our flying skills, which some of you haven't practiced since the first year."  
  
Lily gulped; she was terrified of flying and very horrible at it.  
  
"You will be paired with the person you are sitting beside. You will help your partners train for and perform the Transfiguration."  
  
"I hate flying!" Lily said turning towards Sirius.  
  
"Don't worry, I'll show you how!" Sirius smiled at her, "I have alot of skill!"  
  
They studied birds for a half hour. Lily had compiled a list of everything from what birds at to their mating rituals.  
  
"Are you planning on using that?" Sirius laughed pointing to the small summary of a birds mating call.  
  
"No!" Lily said sharply.  
  
"Hey!" Sirius sounded wounded, " I was kidding, but anyway its time for us to head out to the broom shed!"  
  
"Oh, god!" Lily cried  
  
They all made their way out of the class towards the moving staircases. As they were making their way towards the main entrance Sirius whispered, "Are you scared?"  
  
"Shitless!" Lily said.  
  
Sirius looked surprised he had never heard Lily swear.  
  
"You swore!" He pointed at her.  
  
"Yea there's a lot of things I do you don't know about," Lily replied, looking horrified as they crossed the lawn towards the shed.  
  
"Apparently flying isn't one of them," Sirius joked. 


	3. Flying Lessons

The class stopped in the middle of the field.  
  
"Now," instructed Professor McGonagall, "You will all have forty-five minutes to help your partners prepare for my short flying test to see that you are all capable of simple flying."  
  
Lily and Sirius made their way to the broom shed. Sirius picked out a few brooms and laid them on the ground.  
  
"Now the first thing you must do is learn how to control your broom." Sirius said looking down at the broom in front of him.  
  
"Up!" he commanded, and the broom whizzed up to meet his awaiting hand.  
  
Lily nodded nervously, "Up," she whispered.  
  
"Come on Lily, don't be afraid, command that broom!" Sirius encouraged her, "Take control!"  
  
"Up!" she cried. The broom soared up into her trembling hand.  
  
"Just throw your one leg over," Lily followed suit, "Now just grip your handle tightly." Sirius explained, "No, no put your hands closer together, yea that's it, there you go!" He smiled his cute broad grin.  
  
Lily was sitting comfortably on her broom, her feet planted firmly on the ground.  
  
"Now, you just want to push off lightly and let your broom go up a bit, then push down on the handle so that your broom is parallel with the ground, and you will hover." Sirius told her. Lily closed her eyes. She pushed off with one foot and let her self rise slowly. The handle of her broom vibrated wanting to gain speed, but she fought it and urged her broom handle down making it level with the ground.  
  
"Good!" replied Sirius, she was hovering just about his head, "Now to come back down, just lean forward and ease your broom handle towards the ground, and when you get close enough to the ground plant your feet safely on the ground again,"  
  
Lily leaned forward, and shakily pushed her broom handle towards the ground, the broom obeyed and soon she was back safely on the ground.  
  
"Lily that was amazing, see your a fine flyer," Sirius cheered.  
  
"It was only a few feet Black," she muttered.  
  
"Well that's okay, this time I want you to push off with both your feet and let yourself go a bit higher okay?" he suggested.  
  
"I'm terrified of heights," she cried.  
  
"It's okay Lily, I'll make sure your safe, I'll watch from the ground and call out any instructions, you will be fine!" He told her.  
  
'You're okay,' she told herself as she mounted her broom once again and pushed off with both feet. The climb upwards was much faster this time, and Lily could feel a cool breeze in her face. She liked the feeling and sound of the wind rushing past her ears and through her long hair.  
  
"Lily, I think that is high enough!" A far of voice called.  
  
Lily looked towards the ground. Sirius was but a small speck on the emerald green field.  
  
"OH MY GOD!" she shrieked. She was way too high.  
  
"Lily you're fine!" Sirius called, "Just level out your broom handle and hover there!"  
  
"Sirius!" Lily shouted as she continued getting higher and gaining speed, "I'm way to high!"  
  
"Just hold on!" he instructed, "Level out that broom!"  
  
She tried to hold on, but her hands had began to sweat, they were slipping, she glanced around her terrified, the ground was so far away, she could barely make out Sirius. She was slipping. She was going to fall. She let out a terrified scream as her hands began slipping apart.  
  
In an instant Sirius had shot up on his broom so he was beside her.  
  
"Lily hold on, its okay!" he pleaded.  
  
"Oh god!" she cried still rising. The trees were beginning to look smaller as she continued to climb.  
  
Suddenly just as her hands were about to slip off she felt weight land on the broom behind her. In seconds Sirius's warm arms were around her gripping the handle. He leaned forward pushing into her so that the broom began to become level with the ground. He let out a sigh of relief as the broom hovered on the spot. Lily looked around, absolutely terrified and her mind recapped what had just happened. She turned around and flung her arms around Sirius burying her head in his chest. She knew that she shouldn't be so bold, but she felt like she needed to hold on to something that she knew was safe. She felt that if she hung onto him she wouldn't fall.  
  
"I was so scared," She sobbed, and her anguish poured out onto his robes.  
  
"Lily," he said looking into her eyes, "Its okay, I'm here now, you are safe."  
  
"I lost control, I thought i was going to fall," She gasped between sobs.  
  
"You are fine," He comforted her, and she buried her head in his chest once more as he guided the broom towards the ground. It was a long way down, and Lily's beautiful hair was blowing all about them. She felt safe and warm in Sirius's arms.  
  
"Here we are," he said as they approached the ground, "Safe and sound." he whispered.  
  
Lily got off the broom shakily.  
  
"I told you I am a bad flyer..." she said, her hands still trembling.  
  
"Sirius Black!" a harassed looking Professor McGonagall barked.  
  
"Ma'am?" Sirius inquired looking past Lily.  
  
"That was a very dangerous stunt you pulled up their. I asked you to teach Evans, not to show off, five points from Gryffindor."  
  
"But Professor," Lily began but she was interrupted by McGonagall.  
  
"Where is your broom Black?" She questioned fiercely. She looked murderous behind her square glasses.  
  
"I..." Sirius began. Lily hadn't thought about what had happened to Sirius's broom. He had jumped off of it to keep her safe.  
  
"A lost broom, over a stupid stunt, I am afraid this merits a detention Black."  
  
"But Professor, he wasn't -" again Lily was interrupted.  
  
"If I were you Miss Evans I would keep my mouth shut, Mr. Black is in enough trouble as it is,"  
  
"But Professor, you have to-" Lily insisted.  
  
"He broke school rules Evans, so leave it alone," Professor McGonagall replied furiously, "And obviously, from what i saw of your flying you can't pass my flying test. I will find a suitible coach for you, as you are one of my best students. You have to be able to fly a broom before you can learn to navigate a pair of your own wings. I must go and arrange use of the quidditch pitch. I will send word with a school owl, to tell you of your lesson."  
  
Lily turned to Sirius, gave him a withering look and began to head towards the school for dinner. Sirius made an attempt to follow,  
  
"Stay behind Black, we must arrange your detention."  
  
Dinner was a grand occasion; nobody asked Lily about last nights events. She was discussing an essay topic for History of Magic with Alice while enjoying a large goblet of Butter beer, when James and his gang walked up. Lily groaned, but looked for Sirius.  
  
"So," hissed James, "I hear you were getting back at us for hiking up your skirt yesterday by landing Sirius a detention."  
  
"I tired to defend him..." Lily said quietly, she had been feeling really bad about Sirius's detention.  
  
"Detention?" Alice asked aloud, looking confused. Lily hadn't mentioned the flying lesson to her friend.  
  
"Yea, Sirius got a nice detention because Lily is a retard when it comes to a broom." James muttered.  
  
"What?" Alice said looking offended that her friend hadn't bothered to tell her.  
  
"I didn't mean to okay?" Lily said buttering a piece of bread.  
  
"What's wrong Lily are you made because you finally aren't good at something?" James shot at her.  
  
"No, just annoyed because you think your the best at everything." she shot back, taking another sip of Butter beer.  
  
"Maybe you're just mad because for once books and revising didn't help you out!"  
  
"Go to hell Potter!" Lily said slamming her Goblet down so hard it spilt all over the table.  
  
"I'll see you there!" James growled.  
  
"James..." Remus mumbled uncertainly.  
  
"I'm going!" James glared at him, and the boys walked away.  
  
"You were flying with Sirius?!" Alice shrieked, "Did anything happen?"  
  
"No, I just am a horrible flier, and he tried to help me, but he lost his broom, so he got in trouble."  
  
"He is so good looking."  
  
Lily let out a sigh and got up, "I am heading to the common room, i need to start writing my essay.  
  
Lily had picked her favorite table in the common room to sit at. It was by the large windows with the maroon curtains. She chewed on the end of her quill thoughtfully and looked out the window at the field she had recently been in. As scary as that episode was, she was remembering how warm Sirius's arms were, how mysterious and deep his eyes were, and how she had been amazed at his concern. She couldn't stop thinking about the muscles in his chest that she had buried her head against, or they way he kept comforting her. Laughter interrupted her thoughts.  
  
James, Remus and Peter were sitting in their corner.  
  
"The greatest was that look on that old Hags face when Moony just ran out in front of her growling, good thing Padfoot was their to keep him in line," James howled, punching Remus's shoulder.  
  
Lily shook her head; they were always talkin about these characters. There was Moony, Padfoot, Prongs and Wormtail. She figured it was a bunch of codes, for some new mischievous thing they were doing. She settled back down and dipped her quill in the ink pot waiting for the first line of her essay to pop into her head. She was interrupted by a small tawny owl swooping down in front of her. He landed on her parchment and stuck out his foot. She untied the small note and before she could praise him, the owl was gone.  
  
You are to arrive out on the quidditch pitch promptly at  
  
7 pm this evening to receive a lesson in flying. Mr. James  
  
Potter will be instructing you, as he is the best flier in the  
  
school. Please thank him, as he was willing to give up his  
  
spare time to coach you.  
  
Good luck,  
  
Professor McGonagall  
  
No way! She was not going to take a flying lesson with Potter. Not in a million years. She folded the note up quickly and glance at her watch. It was ten minutes to seven. She couldn't believe the nerve of him. How many times was he going to invade her life?  
  
"Are you ready yet?" a deep voice entered her thoughts.  
  
She looked up at Potter, who was holding two brooms and grinning devilishly. 


	4. The Vision

Lily stomped out of the common room and began walking very fast down the hall. James was close on her tail. When they got outside Lily rounded on him.  
  
"Whoa!" he cried, "Don't stop so fast like that?"  
  
"What do you think you are doing?" She said poking her finger into his chest.  
  
"I thought I'd volunteer to coach you with your flying." James said innocently.  
  
"Is this another one of your schemes to try to get me to date you, because trust me Potter, I will NEVER go out with you."  
  
"No, actually," James sputtered, "Sirius told me about how much you like Transfiguration, and how good you are at it. He said that he heard you tell Alice one day that you were waiting to do Human Transformations, so I thought I would be a nice guy and help you out!"  
  
"A nice guy?" Lily shouted. Suddenly she began laughing, James joined her. She stopped abruptly.  
  
"I thought you were mad at me because I "gave" Sirius a detention?" She asked.  
  
"Nah, he told me what happened after dinner." James said.  
  
Lily glared at James, as he began instructing her on how to fly. After a few hours, and a few fights with James she had gotten the hang of it.  
  
"That was great!" he told her as they headed back to the front entrance. He let his arm fall about her shoulders, and Lily closed her eyes. She knew that this was all he was after.  
  
"I thought maybe we could sneak into the kitchen for some Hot Chocolate and then a private evening in the common room." James breathed in her ear.  
  
"James!" she cried out angrily, "Why must you always ruin any chance of a relationship by trying to worm your way into my life?"  
  
"Because baby," he replied huskily, "You are so hot!"  
  
She had had enough of this game James had been playing since the third year.  
  
"Leave me alone Potter," She shouted.  
  
"But Lily," James protested.  
  
"No James...I ..." Lily's breath caught. She closed her eyes.  
  
"Lily?"  
  
Her world faded out, it became misty. She could see a girl standing by herself. She was cloaked, and the cloak fell over her face, and all that you could see was her pale nose, and shadowy lips. A large black shaggy dog came running towards her and sat down protectively. She thought of Sirius, the hair of the dog matched his. The dog's mysterious eyes mirrored his. He barked as a shinny coated Werewolf came into view. Lily wanted to scream but the girl did not revolt, even when the werewolf sat next to her. The shabby wolf reminded her so much of Remus she almost called out his name. Suddenly a rat ran up its shoulder and sat there gleefully looking of into the distance. The way it held itself, the way it sat there proudly looking at its friends reminded Lily of Peter. In the distance there was a faint clop-clop that sounded something like hooves. Suddenly a gigantic stag pranced towards her. The girl was familiar with it. It nuzzled her neck as the girl stroked its nose affectionately. Suddenly there was a flash of light and James's face clashed with the stags. They were one. Lily gasped and stepped back.  
  
Her world unfogged.  
  
"Lily are you okay?" James asked.  
  
"You are an animagus!" she shrieked.  
  
"What are you talking about?" James screwed up his face in confusion, but Lily's sixth sense took over. She could see the resentment in his face, she could feel the remorse, see the lies floating around inside his head. She could feel his fear as it prickled the hairs at the back of his neck.  
  
"You can turn into a stag," Lily whispered, her eyes bore into his, she was almost there, "Why?"  
  
"Lily, are you feeling okay?"  
  
"Its Lupin!" she cried.  
  
"What about him?" He asked, his voice faltering.  
  
She dug into his mind, she had to find it. Then suddenly, the names; Padfoot, Moony, Wormtail, Prongs. Her vision.  
  
"Oh my God!" she put a hand over her mouth, "He's a werewolf!"  
  
"Lil-" James began looking worried, but suddenly he felt angry, "Where did you find that out?" He shouted.  
  
"You taught yourself how to become animagus, all of you, Sirius is a dog, he is Padfoot, Peter, a rat, and he is Wormtail. You, you are the biggest; you are a stag, Prongs. And Moony is Remus. You taught yourself because....because."  
  
Find it, she commanded her brain. James's face was frightened.  
  
"Lily how do you know all this? Did he tell you?" He asked, "Did Sirius tell you?"  
  
"You taught yourself that Remus didn't have to be alone when he went through the hideous and painful transformation. James I knew you were clever..."  
  
"DID HE TELL YOU?" James bellowed clenching his fists.  
  
"What?" Lily asked dumbly, "Of course not, you just did."  
  
"I didn't say anything, what are you talking about?" James looked even more confused.  
  
"And.that girl...that was..." Lily began muttering.  
  
"Lily!" James shouted grabbing her by her arms and shaking her, " I didn't say anything!"  
  
"I saw you," she whispered.  
  
"You've been spying on us? You have an Invisibility Cloak too?" He choked out.  
  
"No, no," Lily whispered, her head was hurting so much, she might have overdone it.  
  
"Well then, explain how you know! Nobody knows. Was it Peter?"  
  
"No it was you," She whispered.  
  
"YOU"RE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE LILY!" he shouted, "How do you know?!"  
  
"I saw you!" Lily told him,"I read your mind"  
  
Then she gasped. 


	5. Hogsmede

"Read my mind?" James stepped away looking confused, "You mean like that Divination crap?"  
  
"I didn't mean to say that...I..." Lily sputtered.  
  
"You what Lily?" James demanded, "I don't understand how you could know any of this, unless sombody from the INSIDE told you." he growled, his hazel eyes were flaring.  
  
"I swear to you, Sirius didn't say a word, I barely talk to him." Lily insisted. How could she explain to him what she possessed? He would treat her like a freak.  
  
"A bargain," she smiled, that was how.  
  
"What?" he cried, "Look Lily you just come out of nowhere and tell me my life's secrets and your speaking in half sentences. It's really starting to piss me off!"  
  
James was getting angrier by the minute.  
  
"I will promise not to say a word of what I know, not that I would anyway because I wouldn't want to endanger Remus, but I will promise anyhow, if you, James Potter, promise not to say how I found out."  
  
"Fine!" James replied anxiously.  
  
Lily held out her hand, James shook it binding their deal with an invisible contract. Lily took a deep breath.  
  
"I can read minds, see visions." Lily burst out.  
  
"That Divination crap!" James rolled his eyes.  
  
"James I'm serious!" Lily protested. Suddenly every ounce of her body was wanting to pour everything that she had encountered out to him. She longed to tell him everything. She had never been able to discuss this with anyone and she was almost glad James was about to know.  
  
"Since I was young I could see into the future. Sometimes events that would come to pass, and sometimes visions I could not unlock the secret to. Even now when I walk into a room I can feel peoples emotions running through me, as if they were mine. A lot of the time, if my emotions are running high they get mixed up and I will envision something, a memory, or the future of that person. Other times I dream."  
  
"The other night, when you were taken to the hospital." It wasn't really a question; it was more like James was putting two and two together. He looked at her with curiosity. She nodded.  
  
"Yes, I had awoke from a dream, where someone was screaming. I could smell death and it was very hot. But when I woke up the burning was still with me. My whole body felt like it was on fire, and I couldn't breathe. Later Dumbledore told me I posses a rare gift. I apparently can not only see the future, read and feel people's minds, but I can also feel the physical state of my predictions. That makes them much more complex and even more accurate than Dumbledore's predictions," Lily breathed. James was wide eyed, " So right now when you were pissing me off, I suddenly got sucked into your mind and I envisioned, "Lily stopped, as she thought of the girl standing there caressing Prongs, "I envisioned all you in your animagus form." She paused to see James reaction; he was staring at her with disbelief. She looked at the ground which glowed under the stars.  
  
"So then I went into your mind so I could make sense of the vision, and it came to me." Lily whispered, "I'm sorry James,"  
  
"I feel, kind of funny," James shook his head, "What else did you see in my thoughts Lily!" he said angrily, "How many more secrets of mine do you know about?"  
  
"None, I swear," Lily cried with tears welling up in her eyes. She had thought that telling James would have been great, she would finally have somebody to talk to.  
  
"What else do you see for m-"James paused, "Wait, in third year...when you told me you saw death in my future...was that....were you...did..."  
  
Lily nodded, feeling ashamed of the ability she possessed.  
  
"I don't believe you!" James shouted.  
  
"James," she whispered reaching out to him.  
  
"Stay away from me!" he cried. He ran away from her up the front stairs to the main entrance of the school. Lily stood silently as the wind picked up causing her hair to blow around her face. The door slammed shut, as tears dripped down her cheeks.  
  
The next day (Saturday) Lily was sitting in the Library going over some notes for her History essay. She poured over a few books entitled "Goblins and the Fourth Century", "Nasty Creatures of the New Age." and "Goblins- Those Foul Creatures." but was finding it hard to find any information. She stared down at the yellow parchment; it had remained blank for the last 45 minutes. She groaned as somebody riffled through some books nearby nosily.  
  
"You'd think," She said loudly, "That people would realize that this was a LIBRARY and that people are TRYING to work!"  
  
"Lily?" A familiar voice questioned.  
  
"Sirius?" Lily asked, blushing a little, "I'm sorry, come sit down!"  
  
He came out of the near aisle juggling many books in his arms.  
  
"So you think I've been noisy eh?" He grinned.  
  
Lily felt herself melt into her seat.  
  
"No, I'm sorry I thought, you were somebody else," Lily replied.  
  
"So, you're saying if it was some other person you would have ripped their head off but not me? What am I special, should they start putting me on the front of Chocolate Frog cards?" he joked.  
  
"Stop being so difficult!" Lily giggled.  
  
"Was that a laugh?" Sirius put on a face of horror; "The serious, studious, unbreakable, Lily Evans has finally been broken." he cheered.  
  
"Shhh!" she laughed, "We are in the library."  
  
"So what are you working on?" he said in a mock loud whisper.  
  
"My History essay!" she told him leaning further across the table.  
  
"You're working on a history essay on a Hogsmede Weekend?!" He shouted, standing up. She reached up and grabbed his robes and pulled him back down.  
  
"Shut up Sirius you're gonna get us kicked out!" She couldn't help but suppress another laugh. Her morning had been so dull, and he was so funny, "And you can't make fun, your in here too loser!" she reminded him.  
  
He went a little pink, and lowered his voice, "I was actually looking for you,"  
  
Lily leaned forward smiling, "Me? What for?"  
  
"I was wondering if you wanted to head into Hogsmede with me? You know, not as a date, we could just talk about our project." he said quickly.  
  
"Sure, I'd love to," she replied folding up her parchment and collecting her books, "I wasn't getting that far anyways."  
  
"Great!" Sirius replied loudly.  
  
Lily shook her head and laughed as he lead the way out of the Library. 


	6. Jealous Stars

"And then the prod falls out of the tree, you should have heard us howl!" Sirius laughed into his mug of Butter beer.  
  
"He fell out?!" Lily shrieked with laughter.  
  
"Oh yeah, it was hilarious, you should have heard Mr. Potter, boy was he angry!" Sirius told her grabbing a few Bertie Bott's Every Flavor beans that were lying beside the open package on the table. Lily and Sirius were sitting together at a small table in the corner of Honeydukes the wizards' pub in Hogsmede.  
  
"I finally managed to fly last night." She said sipping on her mug of frothy Butter beer.  
  
"James didn't give you a hard time?" Sirius asked looking surprised.  
  
Lily hesitated, thinking about his reaction the night before.  
  
"Nah, it was fine!" She lied with a smile.  
  
Sirius ran his hand through his dark hair, making it messier than ever. She sensed nervousness. Had James told him of what she knew?  
  
"I would have taught you, but i had a DETENTION," Sirius sighed.  
  
"I'm so sorry!" Lily apologized quickly, "I really, really didn't mean t-" Sirius put a finger to her red lips. She backed away at his touch, brushing her long red hair behind her ear nervously.  
  
"Lily," Sirius began again, " I was only joking, I didn't mind, honest, I ONLY had to scrub the trophies in the Trophy room - with NO MAGIC!" he smiled at the guilty look that had spread across her face. Her green eyes were open wide.  
  
"Lily," he laughed, "I'm just kidding, I've had to clean the trophies so many times for detention its like second nature to me now."  
  
" I know, but its my fault," Lily said quietly playing with her hands, "I feel bad,"  
  
"Lily, forget it." Sirius told her.  
  
"I'm such a horrible flier," Lily whispered.  
  
"That's not what I heard," Sirius replied, "James said you did great!"  
  
"How did you manage to separate yourself from him?" Lily asked, finally realizing this was one of the first times outside of class that she had seen Sirius without James.  
  
"He told me he had to study in the Library," Came James's voice.  
  
"James!" Sirius started, standing up quickly spilling his Butter beer.  
  
"Scourgify" Remus, who was standing behind James muttered softly.  
  
Lily could feel the tension building. 'Think of something fast,' Lily encouraged her brain. She wasn't sure why they were so tensely staring at each other, but it occurred to Lily that if the tension wasn't broke, something horrible might happen.  
  
"Well, we were in the Library, but Sirius got us kicked out." Lily smiled up at Sirius.  
  
Peter's squeaky laugh rang out into the silent circle. He stopped at once when James glared at him.  
  
"YOU were in the Library?" James looked down at her sourly.  
  
"Yea, for our project!" Lily said crossing her arms across her chest, "Why do you care so much?"  
  
"No reason, See you back in the Great Hall, Black," James muttered coldly before walking away.  
  
It was true that Sirius and Lily hadn't said one word about their project since they arrived at Hogsmede, but Lily didn't care. Something was going on, and she was ever so curious to find out, but she thought of how James had taken to her reading his mind, and decided against it. Remus and Peter muttered goodbye as well before heading off after James.  
  
"What was all that about?" Lily asked once they were out of earshot.  
  
"I'm not sure," Sirius said, looking darkly towards the door, "Do you want to get out of here?"  
  
"Yea, we still haven't talked about the project." Lily reminded him.  
  
"Right!" Sirius muttered.  
  
When they arrived out on the main street of Hogsmede, Sirius asked her where she wanted to go,  
  
"We still have an hour before we have to be back," he explained.  
  
"How about the Shrieking Shack! I haven't been there before," Lily prompted, "I've always been too scared," she admitted. She grabbed his wrist and dragged him towards the end of the dusty street.  
  
"Uh...I don't know..." Sirius faltered, as he planted his feet firmly in the ground.  
  
"What's wro-" she paused. She could feel the familiar sensation of traveling into another's mind. She could feel his regret, the doubt he had when looking at that building. Had something horrible happened to him here? she wondered.  
  
"Or you know, we could go to Zonko's Joke Shop!" Lily suggested.  
  
"If you want to go to the Shack," he said it was such causality that Lily was sure he was linked to it somehow, "we can, I really don't mind."  
  
"No, I really want to go Zonko's," Lily insisted.  
  
"What for?" Sirius asked looking reproachful.  
  
"I've just remember I wanted to pick up some Dungbombs," Lily giggled at the look of horror on Sirius's face, happy she had caught his attention.  
  
"What for?" Sirius asked horrified.  
  
"So I can drop of a few in Potter's bed!" Lily replied smiling broadly as she lead a laughing Sirius off towards the orange building.  
  
Although Lily's day had not been progressive, academically, it had been progressive socially. She could honestly say that Sirius was her friend. She was glad, he made her laugh and feel so much more laid back. He had an affect on her like nobody had ever had before. She felt so happy, she had had one of the best day's at Hogwarts yet.  
  
"What are you smiling for?" Alice asked as she came in to the dormitory.  
  
"No reason," Lily retorted trying to look puzzled.  
  
"Sure," Alice replied rolling her eyes, "Penny Rufftin, you know that short girl from Ravenclaw in our History class?" Alice asked not bothering to wait for a reply, "Well she told me she saw you and Sirius Black sitting cozily in the back corner of Honeydukes,"  
  
"Your point?" Lily asked sitting down on her bed.  
  
"You were in Honeydukes with Sirius Black!" She shouted, "That's my point!"  
  
"So what?" Lily replied crossly, "We are just friends,"  
  
"Yea, and me and Frank are strangers," Alice said brushing away what Lily had said with her hand, "Anyways, I approve!"  
  
"There's nothing to approve of," Lily insisted, but just as she said that a snowy white owl came billowing in through the open window. It dropped itself on Lily's bed and stuck out its leg impatiently. Lily untied the parchment and read it quickly.  
  
"Dear Lily,  
  
I'm in the north tower in the astronomy tower, and I was wondering  
  
if you wanted to join me. There is supposed to be a good meteor  
  
shower tonight (Peter told me). So if you aren't busy, and are willing  
  
to keep your friend company, (because your company is good to  
  
keep) come up here as soon as you can.  
  
I'll be waiting,  
  
Sirius  
  
P.S watch the third step on your way up, its a trick. ".  
  
Lily grinned as she folded the note and put it into the drawer in the night table standing beside her bed. She looked in the old mirror across from her bed, she looked fine.  
  
"Where are you going?" Alice called after her, as she made her way to the door.  
  
"Out!" replied Lily grinning more than ever. She ran through the crowded common room, glanced around to make sure nobody was watching her, and exited quietly.  
  
As she crept down corridor after corridor, she wondered why she was doing this.  
  
'Because,' she told herself, 'Sirius is your good friend, and he wouldn't drag you out after hours for nothing,' She smiled as she approached the stairs the head up to the Astronomy tower. She heard a lit pitter-patter and turned around. Mrs. Norris, the caretakers horrible cat was running towards her. She ducked into the shadows. Quickly she ran up the stairs skipping the third one with a light hearted leap. She flung open the heavy wooden door to the room at the top of the tower, and closed it fast, closing her eyes and leaning against the door panting.  
  
"Hey," Sirius said.  
  
Lily opened her eyes, Sirius was sitting on a woolen blanket on the floor, the windows in the dim torch -lit room had been magically magnified so that she could see the distant stars clearly.  
  
"Hi," she said breathlessly. 


	7. Falling Stars

"I almost got caught!" Lily smiled at Sirius breathlessly. He looked funny sitting alone on the empty astronomy room floor in his pajamas.  
  
He grinned up at her, "I was hoping you'd show up."  
  
The room looked different it it's dim setting. The tortches weren't burning as brightly as they normaly did, and the windows had been magically magnified. Sirius gestured for her to sit next to him on a shaggy brown blanket.  
  
"I knicked this from Madam Pompfrey's personal stores," Sirius said as Lily sat down. He pulled at the edges of the blanket.  
  
"So what made you invite me?" Lily asked shyly.  
  
"Well," Said Sirius moving a bit closer, "I've spent alot of time wiht you in the last while and you're great company!" he told her decisivly.  
  
"Oh," She laughed, "What about your faithfull sidekick?"  
  
"James?" Sirius asked looking into her green eyes, "He isn't deep enough for this, he'd think it was dung,"  
  
"Well what about Remus?" Lily sugested, cautiously looking out the window at the yellow orb, "You said I'm like him."  
  
"Oh...uh..." Sirius was lost for words. Lily blushed, looking away from his dark captivating eyes.  
  
"And you call me the difficult one!" he joked.  
  
"I try," She smiled flirtatiously, "So why me?"  
  
"Becuase you're Lily," Sirius answered, "And I like being around you."  
  
"You've only been with me for what?" She scuffed, wondering why she was flirting with him, "Three days?"  
  
Sirius narrowed his eyes, attempting to read her. Nothing.  
  
"What if I turn out to be some bitch?"  
  
"You couldn't possibly be one!"  
  
"Why not?" She asked diffiantly.  
  
"Because, I know its not in you," Sirius said seriously, "You're not like that."  
  
"And what if I had've dropped all those dungbombs in James's bed?"  
  
"That would have been hilarious," Sirius laughed, "I would've made fun of him for years."  
  
"Wow!" Lily gasped, "Look!"  
  
Stars had begun to fall. They shimmered in their flight, shining brightly against the dark velvety sky.  
  
"Oh Sirius, it so beautiful!" She cried staring intently through the magnified windows. She didn't notice Sirius staring at her long rich hair, or her sparkling green eyes, her perfect complexion, or her lovely smile.  
  
"It is," he whispered.  
  
Why had she never noticed the beauty of a meteor shower before?  
  
'Maybe becuase I've never truly watched one,' she reminded herself.  
  
The shower lasted twenty minutes.  
  
"You enjoyed it?" he asked gathering up the blanket, as they prepared to leave.  
  
"It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen!"  
  
"Yea, I agree. Peter usualy lets me in on when they are going to happen. He's quite good at Astronomy. I dropped it after the third year. I usualy come up here though, and watch them," he told her as they crept down the stairs from the tower," I even remember the first time I ever saw one!"  
  
"Really?" Lily asked excitedly.  
  
"Yea, I was six or maybe seven," he paused, "I don't remember much of my younger childhood."  
  
"Why not?" Lily asked shocked. She knew full well that she could remember almost every detail leading up to her present life.  
  
"Well..." he trailed off, as they rounded the corner of the corridor leading to the Gryffindor Common Room. Lily closed her eyes and reached into his mind. A slash of pain ripped across her conscience.  
  
She let her eyes flutter open,  
  
"its okay if you don't want to tell me," she blurted.  
  
"Rompus Riddles," Sirius muttered to the large portrait of a fat lady in a frilly pink dress, that hung over the entrance to the Common Room. The Fat Lady was snoring peacfully. Sirius tickled the painting.  
  
"Ooo!" She squealed shrilly, "Password?" she giggled.  
  
"Rompus Riddles," Sirius growled.  
  
"Right you are Mr. Black," she replied still giggling, as she swung open.  
  
Sirius clambered through the hole, and then held out his hand, to help Lily through. When she grasped his hand, warmth spread through her as if she had just taken a rather large gulp of Butter beer. Sirius pulled her through gently.  
  
Nobody was left in the common room. The stony fireplace was still lit, and the light flickered against the walls, occasionally throwing Sirius and Lily into shadow. Sirius's gloomy face flickered in the firelight.  
  
"Sirius?" Lily prompted softly.  
  
"My family," Sirius muttered, "The Blacks, are horrible wizards Lily, you probably wouldn't know that being muggle born."  
  
"But you're not horrible," Lily rejected, surprised that Sirius was sharing this with her.  
  
"My mother, she always told me how much of a disappointment I am to her, and the family, she sits in her room all alone with her houself cursing me," Sirius shuddered.  
  
Lily walked slowly towards the fire, Sirius followed, "Why would she say that, you are wonderful Sirius,"  
  
"Apparently not to her, or any of my family, they were all Slytherins, I'm Gryffindor." He said darkly.  
  
"Oh," She bit her lip.  
  
"The punishment for this was horribly Lily," he muttered, turning towards her.  
  
"Sirius?"  
  
"She is small, but she knows how to use the unforgivable curse,"  
  
Lily gulped, Sirius winced in horror,  
  
"The Curcicatus Curse," he whispered.  
  
Lily forgot about her stupid worries about being to obvious to Sirius, and wrapped her arms around him,  
  
"Sirius, you are a Gryffindor, it's better than being a Slytherin, you don't really want to be one of them do you?"  
  
"No, I hate my family," He replied, "I just wish I didn't."  
  
She held him for a bit longer, surprised at how vulnerable this mysterious guy was.  
  
"I moved out last summer," he said after a long time.  
  
"Where did you go?"  
  
"James's, Mr. and Mrs. Potter are really nice about it,"  
  
"I'm sorry Sirius," she apologized to him.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because none of this should've happened," she replied.  
  
"But all things happen for a reason," he whispered, and then holding her tightly around her waste, he sealed her gasp of shock with his lips. He pressed hard, and Lily felt as if he was searching for the love he was missing in his life, and something inside her told her she needed to be just that. He caressed the side of her face, pulling away.  
  
"Goodnight," she sighed as she turned away, her cheeks burning up. She made her way up the stairs towards the Girls Dormitory, but stopped at the top, and turned back around. From her perch she could see Sirius, standing in the same spot. He sat down in an armchair with a sigh and stared into the fire. Lily sighed also, before retreating to her room.  
  
"All things happen for a reason," she whispered with a smile before she fell asleep. 


	8. The Truth Revealed

Lily's eyes flew open. She glanced around her dormitory. It was still dark. She sat up with a sigh rubbing her temples. She hadn't had a good nights rest. She kept waking up thinking about Sirius, and the way he had kissed her. Her eyes wandered around the dark and silent dormitory looking for some condolence. She hadn't been able to talk to Alice when she had gotten upstairs last night because she had already been sleeping. Her eyes continued wondering until they rested on the still blank, piece of Parchment that was supposed to her History essay. She sighed heavily and decided to make her way to the common room. She didn't bother getting dressed or brushing her hair, it was to early. She did, however, grab the quilt off her bed, and set off down the stairs.  
  
The common room was dimly set, and Lily smiled at the busy houself in the corner of the room who was picking up some garbage left the night before. The fires weren't flickering in their places, instead just burning low. Lily made her way to her favorite table, set her books, quill and ink pot, down and drew open the long maroon curtains covering the tall windows. The sky was dark and starry, making Lily remember the beautiful event she had witnessed hours before. To the east, over the lake, a faint crimson glow was emerging, telling Lily that it was almost dawn. She sat down with a faint smile and dipped her quill into the ink. She wrote out her thoughts on the Goblin Massacre, and was half way done her essay when sudden movement from behind her made her look up. She turned around searching the common room for whatever had caused the disturbance. She paused when she saw shaggy black hair. Sirius it seemed had fallen asleep last night in the same chair he had fallen into. She got up and tip toed over. He had his head rested on his folded hands, on the arm of the chair. His normally clean face looked scruffy with the hint of stubble. Why had he kissed her?  
  
Sirius stirred.  
  
Lily thought back to the moment of the kiss.  
  
Sirius sat straight up. He blinked a few times, before allowing his deep brown eyes to focus on her.  
  
"Lily?"  
  
Lily felt her cheeks glowing red.  
  
"H-hey," she stammered. She looked into his eyes, unsure of what to say, "I d-didn't mean to uh, wake you,"  
  
"You were talking to me though," Sirius replied looking confused.  
  
"No, I didn't say anything," Lily said calmly, although her heart was beating very very fast.  
  
"Oh," Sirius took in a deep breath.  
  
"Yea," Lily sighed.  
  
The two of them blushed deeply, and Lily turned away from him.  
  
"I should, go finish my, uh..."she paused trying to remember what she was saying, "My essay."  
  
As she began to walk away Sirius called her name. When she turned around he motioned for her to sit down. She sat down across from him.  
  
"Lily," he began, "I don't want it to be weird, you know just because of what happened,"  
  
She nodded,  
  
"I really care about you," he whispered.  
  
"You've only known me for a week," she whispered back.  
  
"You are the only person I can be myself around," he told her, "I really want to still be friends,"  
  
As much as Lily's mind was pushing the thought of caring for Sirius away, her heart sank at his saying he wanted to be friends. Only friends.  
  
"Of course we will still be friends," She laughed, "And since you are such a friend, you can help me finish my History Essay," she smiled leading him over to the table she was working at.  
  
The next few weeks, fallowed the same pattern, Sirius and Lily spent most of their time out of class together, except for a few of the weekend nights when Sirius had "duties" as he called them, when he ran of with James, Remus and Peter. They all scowled at Lily every time she walked by probably because she was now taking up a lot of their friends time. The project that Lily and Sirius shared in Transfiguration was almost complete, and they had studied every aspect of the birds they were going to transform into. Nothing was said about the kiss, the topic was never brought up again. Lily was learning to like Sirius's company much more though. When he would go out with James, she was relieved at some time for herself and Alice, but she found her self missing his grin, and laugh. She'd learned a lot about him, his family and where he stood in life, and he learned a lot about her. The only thing she hadn't told him, was of her seeing ability, and the fact that she knew why he liked Transfiguration so much. She hadn't told him she knew he was animagus. This thought played with her mind all the time because she felt that Sirius and herself were very good friends, and that she should be honest with him. She just didn't want the same reaction as James had had.  
  
After dinner one day right before the Christmas Holidays, Sirius and Lily had made plans to revise their History notes for the end of term exam. Lily was waiting patiently in the Library for him. As usual he made his very loud and disturbing entrance.  
  
"Hey Mr.!" Lily protested laughing.  
  
"Mr.?" Sirius sat down looking thoughtful. Lily stared at him knowing him well enough that she knew he wanted to say something.  
  
"I have to cancel our plans," Sirius told her,  
  
"Oh," she frowned, "How come?" she asked closing her book so she could look at him.  
  
"Well James, and them are up to some really cool stuff tonight that I can't miss, its like in the code,"  
  
"Don't worry!" She smiled cutting him off, "I don't care."  
  
"I knew you'd understand!" he smiled giving her a hug. As she held him close, Lily glanced over his shoulder through the window and noticed the full moon smiling back at her. She pushed Sirius away.  
  
"Sirius, don't go out!" she pleaded.  
  
"What?" he looked desperately confused, "I thought you just said you didn't mind,"  
  
"Sirius, I know what this is about, and it's dangerous," Lily said anxiously wringing her hands, "What if you get caught, what if..." she gulped.  
  
Sirius's face became slightly angered as his forehead wrinkled because he was squinting at her. Lily closed her eyes. She knew she had to tell him, but not here in the middle of the Library.  
  
"Come with me for a minute," she whispered, collecting up her books. She got up and he fallowed as she lead him outside to the Lake. She dropped her books with a thud. She took a deep breath.  
  
"Sirius, I know about Remus," she said coolly.  
  
"What about him?" Sirius asked dumbly.  
  
"Sirius," She said quietly, "I know he's a- he's a Werewolf"  
  
Sirius looked shocked for a moment, and then his face went dark.  
  
"How do you know?" He grunted.  
  
"Wait," She pleaded, "I know something else,"  
  
His eyes were wide as he looked down at her,  
  
"I know that you are an animagus," she whispered, "You, Peter and James are,"  
  
"How do you-"  
  
"I know what it is you all do at full moons, and Sirius it's dangerous."  
  
"Lily?!" Sirius demanded his voice rising.  
  
"When I had the flying lessons with James a long time ago, I had a vision,"  
  
"Like that divination crap?" Sirius inquired.  
  
"You sound just like him," Lily said irritably, "And no it's not like that, I can see things Sirius,"  
  
He looked at her for a moment his dark eyes spiting fire, and then he threw his head back and laughed like a madman.  
  
"Oh please Lily," he snarled, "You were spying on me weren't you,"  
  
Lily was taken back at the totally different attitude Sirius had adopted. She was also frustrated because she knew that this was going to happen.  
  
"No," She cried, with angry tears smarting her eyes, "I can see the future, feel the future, I can," she insisted, standing a little taller, "I dream about it, and when i get emotional, i reach into other peoples minds and feel and hear what they are thinking just as if they were my own thoughts,"  
  
"You can't be serious,"  
  
"Would I lie?" She asked staring at him intently. His breath became faster and harder, as his anger rose.  
  
"Why haven't you told me this before?" He shouted.  
  
"Becuase!" she shouted back, "I figured you take it like this!"  
  
"Have you been reading my mind from the start Lily?" Sirius asked.  
  
"NO!" She huffed stamping the ground.  
  
A violent wind wrapped around them as they stood there breathing hard, not shifting their eyes from each other. After a moment Sirius backed down.  
  
"I just feel so betrayed Lily!"  
  
"Well I didn't ask to have this gift,"  
  
"So what else do you know about my life that i think you don't know?" he asked.  
  
"Nothing Sirius, I forced myself not to read most of your thoughts."  
  
"So you've read some,"  
  
"It's hard not to,"  
  
"I can't believe you!" he growled, sounding like the dog she knew he could become.  
  
"Please," She cried as tears filled her eyes again, "I have a bad feeling about this,"  
  
Sirius stared at her violently. She had never seen him angry before.  
  
"Sirius, don't go with them," she insisted, "I have a bad feeling,"  
  
"Yea?" he shouted, "Well guess what Lily, you can't tell me how to live my life just because you have some crack pot idea that you can read minds, I never thought I'd say this, but I don't believe you,"  
  
"Sirius," She muttered feeling as if she'd just been slapped across the face. Tears slipped down her pale cheeks.  
  
"You're tears aren't gonna work Lily,"  
  
"I'm just trying to help you,"  
  
"You want to help?" He roared,  
  
"I have a bad feeling," she pleaded.  
  
"Well i have a bad feeling about this," he said gesturing between them.  
  
"Us?" She whispered not believing him.  
  
"Yes," Sirius looked darkly at the ground, "I trusted you Lily, but I'm sorry, I don't think we can be friends,"  
  
Lily looked at him for a moment and then ran towards the castle sobbing. She paused at the front doorway and looked back at him standing in the dark by himself by the Lake. She closed her eyes, and Sirius's face flashed before her, fallowed by the dog. She opened her eyes, not allowing herself to see the rest of the vision. 


	9. The Dark Mark

"Help me!" A patronizing voice screamed. A blinding red blaze filled the empty darkness. A loud shrill laugh filled Lily's mind.  
  
"Jody?" A deep once called. Lily screamed along with the woman as the burning sensation ran up her legs. Pain overtook the dream as the distant man and woman hollered. Fire spread over Lily's body, flames flickered in the darkest parts of her brain, and death hung in the very air she breathed. A green light was shot forward with a bang. The sight of a skull wrapped in a slithering Serpent made Lily gasp, but she could not expand her lungs, she attempted to cry out as smoke filled her lungs. Tears slipped down her cheeks as she screamed making no sound, and a heavy darkness covered her.  
  
When Lily's eyes finally fluttered open she realized she was surrounded by the familiar white linens that hung in the Hospital wing. She was relieved to find that breathing wasn't painful. She let out a sigh, and immediately tried to raise her hand to her, now throbbing throat, but couldn't move it. Every bone in her body was frozen. She let out a soft moan, as she tried to speak, hoping that Madam Pompfry would notice that she was awake. Somebody stirred at the end of her bed. She remained puzzled for a moment staring down her nose, unable to lift her head. Another moan was released.  
  
"Lily?" Madam Pompfry said worriedly, and instantly the hanging were retched open, blinding Lily with sunlight. Madam Pompfry smiled at her and twirled her wand muttering a spell. A tingling sensation filled the coldness that had settled on her bones.  
  
"Drink This" Madam Pompfry held out a cup containing a bubbling green liquid to her. Lily realized she could move finally and reached out for the cup. She raised an eyebrow at it but drank it anyway. As she drank a warm feeling spread over her sore throat.  
  
"Ahh!" She smiled, when finishing her cup. She could talk now.  
  
"Shh!" Madam Pompfry warned, "You'll wake up Mr. Black!"  
  
"Sirius?" Lily repeated surprised,  
  
"Yes, the poor dear has been with you all night,"  
  
"Madam Pompfry?" Sirius questioned sleepily lifting up his head.  
  
"She's awake now Black," She smiled at him and the clicking of her shoes carried her out of sight.  
  
"Lily!" Sirius cried grinning as he slid the chair he was in up to the front of her bed.  
  
"Sirius what are you doing here?"  
  
"Oh Lily, when we came in last night, we could hear you screaming from the corridors."  
  
"Bu-"  
  
"Dumbledore ran past us through the portrait hole, we followed him and he muttered something before dashing up the stairs. A few minutes later her returned carrying you in his arms, you were screaming something wild, and lashing out at him. Lily you were soaked in sweat."  
  
She blushed realizing she had been wearing a white nightgown.  
  
"The dream," She whispered,  
  
"And then he ran you here, and I followed, Oh I was soo worried,"  
  
"But how did you-"  
  
"He dashed in here and shouted for Madam Pompfry, she immediately but a body bind spell on you and forced down some nasty looking medicine, before Dumbledore placed you on this bed." Sirius explained rather than answering her question, "And I sat here, and Dumbledore said something to Madam Pompfry about your dream, and about your visions, your seeing ability."  
  
"Siri-"  
  
"And Lily you were right!" he cried, "You were right about last night," he brought his face closer to her, "Remus bit somebody!" he whispered with tears forming in his eyes, "You scared me!"  
  
"Siri-"  
  
"Lily," he pleaded, "I am sorry, I am so sorry I ever doubted you, I really care about you!"  
  
"Don't worry about it,"  
  
Sirius reached out wrapping his arms around her and hugged her close. He held her like that for a while, before whispering into her ear,  
  
"I was just scared Lily, what you told me came as a shock," Lily pulled away and saw the dark circles around his deep shining eyes, and his concern had drawn itself over his face, " I don't want to loose you,"  
  
"You won't" Lily promised.  
  
After a little while Sirius looked in her eyes,  
  
"Lily, what was your dream about?" he questioned.  
  
"Well," she hesitated, "Well, it was about a fire, a woman, screaming in agony, a laugh, a burning sensation, the smoke, the smell of death, and," she shuddered, Sirius took her hand into his and squeezed it encouraging her, "A green flash, a skull wrapped in a serpent,"  
  
Sirius jaw fell,  
  
"The Dark Mark?" He whispered.  
  
Lily looked up at him,  
  
"Its the mark of the Dark Lord, I saw my brother practicing it once, to many wizards and witches it means fear,"  
  
Lily was confused, but didn't get to ask because Madam Pompfry was bustling towards them,  
  
"Alright you two, Evans, you need rest, Black, head back to your dormitory and get some sleep, you are excused from class,"  
  
Sirius looked longingly at Lily before lowering his head. He kissed her lips softly, and Lily responded just as he pulled away. He smiled at her, touched her cheek. Madam Pompfrey clucked disapprovingly, as Sirius lowered his head down beside Lily's. She could feel his breath against her the side of her face,  
  
"Lily?" he whispered,  
  
"Mmm?" she smiled, because of the kiss, and because Sirius's breath was tickling her face,  
  
"I love you," He stood up straight and grinned at her, as she lay their dumbstruck. With out another word he left. Madam Pompfry busied herself fixing Lily's sheets and telling her to go to sleep. As Lily lay their wondering about Sirius, and the kiss they had just shared, Madam Pompfry muttered to herself, "KISSING in the HOSPITAL, REALLY!" 


	10. On the Way Home

A mist fell over the grounds at Hogwarts as Lily made her way towards the Hogwarts Express. She glanced back at the distant castle, which stood tall and proud. However the absence of students had sucked all the life out of the old building. She was glad that exams were over and the pressures of school had passed, but still she was not looking forward to the Summer holidays. Ahead of her students boarded with broad smiles, many, including James, Peter and Remus were discussing the Quidditch World Cup which was taking place this summer. As much as Lily detested the Marauders, she missed hearing their jokes, even being taunted by them. They barely acknowledged her, and when they did it was a quick glare or a rude remark. This led Lily to believe that James had in fact told her secret to the other boys. Lily let out a quick sigh, and Sirius, who was walking beside her, squeezed her hand in question.  
  
"Only one more year," she muttered gloomily.  
  
The familiar sound of wind rushed in her ears as her flaming hair flicked violently in the wind the approaching storm had issued.  
  
"Don't worry," he replied smiling up at her as he lugged their trunks aboard, "You'll be back before you know it."  
  
Lily stepped aboard, leaving Sirius to struggle with the trunks and began searching for Alice, needing to confide in someone. She wasn't sure what she wanted to say, but she just wanted Alice. When she finally found her she was red-faced and clutching Frank Longbottom's hand. Lily smiled politely, and moved on not risking the awkward silence and not wanting to interrupt anything. She heard familiar voices ahead and paused as she heard James groan.  
  
"I bet HE is gonna sit with HER!"  
  
"Give it up," Remus said testily, "He's been with her for what, how long now?" Four months?"  
  
"She should be with me!," James replied darkly, "And we're his friends, he should sit with us,"  
  
"Nobody in there right mind would give up a chance to be with Lily Evans, alone in a secluded compartment," squeaked Peter.  
  
Lily threw a disgusted look at the door in front of her, which was slightly ajar.  
  
"The girl absolutely hates you Prongs," Remus reminded him gently.  
  
"That's true!" agreed Peter, "And from what you told us, you weren't exactly nice to her, when she told you about You-Know-What."  
  
Lily frowned; he wasn't supposed to tell anyone. But can you really blame him not keeping something like that to himself? She asked herself.  
  
"When has James EVER been nice to Lily?" Remus put in irritably.  
  
"Hey!" James protested, "I get cocky when I'm nervous,"  
  
"Oh come off it Prongs," Remus said sharply, "What did you say to me the first time you ever noticed her?"  
  
"I said that she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen," James told him, using a tone Lily had never heard before.  
  
"And?" Remus pressed. There was the distinct sound of a page being turned, which suggested to Lily that he was reading.  
  
"And that she was different from any other girl I'd noticed before."  
  
"Right!" Remus said loudly, and the thud told Lily he'd closed the book, "Different, and what did I say to you?"  
  
"You told me I'd have to treat her different."  
  
"Correct," Remus snapped, "And WHAT did you do?"  
  
"Marched up to her and asked her out," James muttered.  
  
"Sirius treats her different James," Remus said wisely, "He treats her like a friend, as a person, not just some hot thing with legs that hed enjoy getting it on with,"  
  
Lily made a mental note to advertise to her friends how sweet of a guy Remus was.  
  
James let out a big sigh, "Look, I don't think Lily is some hot thing with legs," Lily listened harder, 'I mean sure she's hot, and she's got legs, but she's so... attractive, not just her looks its just something about her," James continued. Lily had never heard James say anything so... well meaningful before, and she felt her cheeks grown warm.  
  
"Well," Peter said, " Unfortunately our friend Padfoot is the lucky bastard who snagged her,"  
  
"Hey!" Sirius, who had come up behind Lily whispered. She blushed, and closed her eyes guiltily turning around slowly to face him. She welcomed his awaiting arms.  
  
"What's wrong?" Sirius asked, probably picking up on her guilty look.  
  
"Nothing," Lily muttered pulling him closer and inhaling him.  
  
"I finally got the trunks in," Sirius laughed, She loved it when he laughed.  
  
"Well," she said sorrowfully, "I suppose I should go and find a compartment and let you get to yours, the trains going to leave in two minutes."  
  
"What happened to OUR compartment," Sirius asked pulling away from her to give her an inquisitive look.  
  
"Well I just thought," she paused, "I thought you'd rather be with you're friends,"  
  
"Oh please," he cried, "I've got all summer with them, I just want to be with you okay?"  
  
Lily smiled sheepishly, but her smile soon hardened into the sirius line that always formed when she was thinking to hard.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Are you trying to get rid of me?"  
  
"No!" Lily cried.  
  
Let's go find our compartment then,"  
  
It took five minutes to find an empty compartment. Upon entering Lily shut the door hastily and muttered a few locking charms. She fell into Sirius's arms and immediately brushed her lips with his. He deepened the kiss with his tongue, gripping her pale face with his rough tanned hands. The moved to the bench and sat down awkwardly. Lily was starving for the feeling Sirius transferred to her when they kissed. Sirius fed her hunger caressing her neck as he did so. How could she endure the entire summer without him? Over the last few months she had become so close with him, they were practically inseparable. He'd stop going out once a month with his friends, and everything just for her. Instead they spent long hour's star gazing, and traveling into Hogsmede. She learned everything there was to know about him, and he her. It pained her to be parted with him. They both had learned to hold onto each other for things they needed. Sirius had never possessed love and affection before in his life, and Lily had never possessed an understanding such as the one Sirius had. Sirius slid onto his back guiding her down with him. They kissed like this for a few more minutes before Lily broke away,  
  
"The whole summer!" She said more to herself, than Sirius.  
  
"It won't be that bad," he muttered but Lily could feel his falsehood, she closed her eyes and sensed that he was dreading it as well. He realized what it was she was doing, as she listened to his quickened heartbeat.  
  
"Have any dreams last night?" he asked quickly  
  
"A few," she nodded,  
  
He stared at her, "The one from last week?"  
  
"Yea,"  
  
"Anything new?"  
  
"Nope, the usual," she sighed, "Me standing there in that disheveled room, holding that sweaty baby, I scream, the baby cries, a man yells and it ends with the same flash of green,"  
  
"Have you figured out what it means yet?"  
  
She laid her head back on his chest, "No," she lied. She'd already figured she was foreseeing her death. She noted how young she'd been in the dream, and holding a baby. Was it hers? Who had been yelling at her? Who was murdering her?  
  
"Did you have the Fire dream?" Sirius prompted.  
  
"Of course," Lily replied propping her chin on her hand so she could see him, "And her name is Jody,"  
  
"Jody?" Sirius questioned, "Did the medicine work?"  
  
"Always does,"  
  
Sirius was referring to the medicine Madam Pompfry had produced for her. Alice had grown accustomed to waking up to Lily's howls, and had learned fast to measure the nasty liquid out and force it down Lily's throat.  
  
"Good," said Sirius wrapping his arms firmly around her.  
  
"I hate the summer," Lily pouted growing weary. The rhythm rise and fall of Sirius's chest accompanied by the soft rumble of the Trains engine was lulling her to sleep.  
  
"You get to see your mom and dad!" Sirius reminded her.  
  
"Yea, and listen to my sister Petunia call her boyfriend and complain about how much of a freak I am."  
  
"Look," Sirius said in a comforting tone, "I am lodging at the Potters,"  
  
Lily groaned. The Potters' house was far away from Lily's own home in Surrey.  
  
"But James, Peter and I will be making our way to Remus's for the World Cup in mid-summer, he lives quite near you,"  
  
Lily's vivid green eyes sprang open with hope, "Maybe you could stop by," she grinned excitedly, "Meet my Mum and Dad!"  
  
"Exactly," Sirius laughed at her excitement, "And I will talk to Remus and his parents and maybe you can come to with us to the World Cup!"  
  
Lily smiled.  
  
"It's in Britain this year you know,"  
  
"Mmm," Lily hummed in reply.  
  
As the two of the fell asleep Lily said, "Sirius, how am I going to get used to not seeing you everyday?"  
  
He looked at Lily with fear growing in his deep brown eyes.  
  
"That's what I'm afraid of," he gulped, "I'm afraid you're gonna become so adjusted to not seeing me, that you wont want to anymore."  
  
Lily looked at him sorrowfully, he kissed her forehead, "I can't loose you Lily, I just can't."  
  
"You won't," Lily promised aloud. She settled back down on his firm chest.  
  
"I love you," Lily thought, not feeling ready to admit it,  
  
"I love you too," Sirius whispered sleepily. What had just happened never occurred to Lily or Sirius but they would soon understand the full extent of Lily's Gift. 


	11. Another Summer

"Aww isn't this cute," James drawled boyishly.  
  
Lily sat up groggily rubbing her eyes.  
  
"How did you get in here?" she snapped, as Sirius stirred below her.  
  
"Relax Evans, I just came to tell your boyfriend that we arrived in London ten minutes ago," James said loudly locking eyes with her and rumpling his hair with his hands.  
  
"Shit!" Sirius cursed, sitting up and practically throwing Lily off of him.  
  
"Well I guess I'll wait for you outside," James told Sirius, still staring at Lily, he turned on his heel and headed out the compartment door but paused before exiting, "Oh and Evans, I think it would be best if you straightened yourself up a bit,"  
  
Lily gasped fixing her clothes and glaring at the back of his head as he left. Lily let out a groan of disgust,  
  
"See what I mean," she ranted gathering her things, "He's such a jerk,"  
  
Yet she hadn't forgotten all the nice things he'd said about her the not before.  
  
Sirius said nothing and Lily stepped closer to him fixing the buttons on his shirt and placing a stray hair back into place.  
  
"Well," he said catching her hands, "I guess this is goodbye for a while,"  
  
Lily felt a lump form in her throat.  
  
"Make sure you owl me!" she choked.  
  
"I will I promise," Sirius smiled," I will send one as often as James's ruddy owl is up for okay?"  
  
She nodded pushing her body against his.  
  
"And I will speak to Remus about stopping at your house," he kissed her cheeks tenderly.  
  
"Sirius!" James called.  
  
Sirius lowered his lips onto hers. She kissed him hard letting her hands run up his neck so she could touch his hair.  
  
"Sirius come on!" James hollered, "Mom and Dad are waiting!"  
  
Sirius broke away resentfully.  
  
"Well, goodbye Lily,"  
  
"Goodbye," she whispered back tearfully as he walked away. Just before he reached the door she felt a surge of emotion.  
  
"Sirius," she cried.  
  
He looked back,  
  
"I love you," she finally said out loud,  
  
"I love you too, see ya soon!" he grinned, and Lily felt her knees grow weak, and he was gone.  
  
Lily took her time, located her trunk and hauled it to where her mother and father stood. Her father, a tall think light haired man, was scowling as usual,  
  
"Lily," he nodded as she approached him, and immediately began to make his way back to their car.  
  
"Lily dear," her mother, a short plumper woman, cried.  
  
Lily hugged her mom tightly and kissed her cheek, staring after her dad.  
  
"He's in a bit of a mood," her mother told her quietly, "So how was school?"  
  
"Great! I am anxious to get my exam results though," Lily said.  
  
"Always," he mother smiled, "Oh, who are those two handsome gentlemen?" Her mother asked Lily  
  
Lily fallowed her mothers gaze, and it rested on James and Sirius who were lugging their trunks towards Mr. and Mrs. Potter. James looked strikingly like his father, tall and dark, while his mom had flowing blonde hair, and big smile. Lily noticed a younger girl, perhaps James's sister standing between the two of them. She was petit with rosy cheeks and waist length black hair. James stooped down a few feet from the group holding out his arms. The girl ran towards him in he swooped her up tossing her above him, and hugging her tightly. Her clear laugh rang out and Sirius tussled her hair playfully, glancing towards Lily, he smiled sadly at her.  
  
"The one holding the little girl is James Potter," Lily said to her mother, still looking at Sirius.  
  
"And the other?" he mother questioned as Lily turned towards the car.  
  
"The other one is Sirius Black," she said non-chalantly.  
  
The two made their way to opposite sides of the car, Lily threw her trunk into the backseat, pushed it in. She climbed in and shut the door sharply.  
  
"Are you interested in either?" her mother, who was always very into Lily's wizarding life, questioned.  
  
"Sirius," Lily began,  
  
"That taller one?" Mrs. Evans asked. Lily nodded,  
  
"He's my boyfriend," she let out.  
  
"You're what?" Her father roared, "Why didn't I meet this chap, and is he..." he trailed off. Lily caught his murderous stare in the review mirror, "Lily is he a...wizard?"  
  
"Yea, dad he is," Lily said sternly.  
  
"I thought we'd agreed you would keep to our kind," Her dad said crossly.  
  
"I am still human father!" Lily shouted.  
  
"George," Her mother cried, "She only just got back,"  
  
"I don't care Mary, we agreed when we sent her to that - that place," he spat, "That she would still have a respectable life,"  
  
"She does have one," Mary insisted.  
  
"Why couldn't she be more like Petunia," George muttered.  
  
Lily blinked back tears. Mary brushed her hair behind one ear nervously,  
  
"Petunia is engaged to that nice Dursley boy, you remember him Lily?" she asked, changing the subject.  
  
"Yea, I remember," Lily muttered, looking out the window as the streets passed her by.  
  
"Well there's a party this weekend, isn't that fun?" Mary asked cheerfully.  
  
"Great mom," Lily replied, "Am I invited,"  
  
Mary laughed, it was a forced laugh.  
  
"Of course you are sweetheart,"  
  
"You sure they want a 'freak' like me coming?" Lily asked irritably.  
  
"You're not a freak," her mother insisted, "You are gifted,"  
  
'More than you know,' Lily thought as she read her fathers resentment towards her as he stared at her through the review mirror once more,  
  
'Another summer,' Lily thought as she let out a sigh.  
  
"So did you get any action?" James asked as he and Sirius lugged their trunks behind James's family.  
  
"No, I told you, Its not like that," Sirius said.  
  
"Right," James said sarcastically as Mrs. Potter stopped them, and muttered a vanishing spell at the trunks.  
  
"We're headed towards Diagon Alley boys, traveling the usually way," Mrs. Potter told them, "Now, no pranks, tricks or anything of the sort," she reminded with a bit of a smile.  
  
"Ahh, you missed us!" Sirius grinned throwing an arm casually around his foster-mom.  
  
"You're charm may work on the ladies at school Sirius, but you have to be better than that for it to work with me," Mrs. Potter said coolly.  
  
Emily, James's kid sister giggled throwing a pudgy hand over her mouth.  
  
"So," The boys dropped back, "what is Miss Book Worm the Virgin Mary to?" James asked, continuing their conversation.  
  
"No James, look she's special to me okay? God, are you gonna be like this all summer?" Sirius asked.  
  
"I don't need you to tell me how special she is," James reminded him as they approached the Leaky Cauldron.  
  
"James, when we talked about this before, you told me you had no feelings for her, and that she was fair game, and i asked you if you were just saying that, and you said no she'd blown your last straw. You can't wait almost five months and change your mind, I care about her,"  
  
"I don't have feelings for her," James muttered.  
  
"Well then what the hell is your problem?" Sirius asked loudly.  
  
"You stopped hanging out with us Sirius," James commented.  
  
"Look James, I'm sorry, really I am, Lily didn't agree with what we did, and after Remus," James gave him a warning glare, "After Remus bit that boy," Sirius whispered, "I got a little freaked out okay?"  
  
James continued to glare,  
  
"Look you're like my brother," Sirius explained, "Let's not let something like this get between us and a good summer,"  
  
James continued to glare, but after a few moments his face melted into a grin.  
  
"You're right," he sighed and held out his hand.  
  
"Boys," Mrs. Potter called out.  
  
"Coming mother," James called feeling revived at the renewed friendship.  
  
Mr. Potter tapped the brick wall behind the hotel and it opened them into Diagon Alley.  
  
"So I was thinking of this one prank we could play on Rodgers," James whispered to Sirius as they made their way to the Floo Network Building.  
  
"Rodgers, that kid who lives down the street from you?" Sirius whispered back.  
  
"Yea, that stupid muggle who stole our football," James reminded him.  
  
"Boys," Mrs. Potter said fiercely as they entered the building, "What are you whispering about."  
  
"Oh come on Jody; leave them alone, they only just got back," Mr. Potter said.  
  
"So anyways we'd walk down to his h-" James was cut off by Mrs. Potter shoving Floo Powder into James hand. As Sirius took his, he shook his head smiling, 'Another Summer,' he thought stepping into the green flame after James. 


	12. Freak

Two long weeks passed with Sirius sending Lily an owl almost everyday. He wrote of his comings and goings, his trips with the Potters and how much he missed Lily. Lily replied by filling Sirius in on her dreams, and telling him of her home life. Her father, who still wasn't speaking with her, paced the house moodily, her mother was busy with preparations for the Engagement Celebration and Petunia had begun digging into Lily the moment she had arrived home. Sirius sympathized with her telling her that he wished he could see her and help make her feel better, but Lily was slowly slipping into depression.  
  
One morning Lily woke up to a scream that was issued from across the hall. She scrambled out of her bed, flung open her door and found Petunia in the bathroom wrestling a harassed looking tawny owl. Lily recognized it at once, it was a school owl. Lily marched into the bathroom and grabbed the owl lovingly murmuring to it, helping it calm down. Petunia who was covered in scratches began to screech at Lily.  
  
"Bloody owls, Think you're freaky enough with out barn owls swooping in and out of here!"  
  
The owl clucked at Petunia disapprovingly. It was true that many more owls than usual had been swooping in and out of the house.  
  
Her father and mother had just emerged from their bedroom to see what the matter was.  
  
"Oh Petunia!" Mary Evans cried, running towards her and tending to the many scratches that littered her bony face.  
  
"Lily," George Evans demanded growing red in the face.  
  
"I woke up to her screaming and came in here and she was wrestling this owl," Lily told him.  
  
"What?" he yelled "Was an Owl doing in the bloody bathroom?"  
  
"George please," Mary warned.  
  
"The neighbors have enough to talk about with out numerous ruddy birds flying in and out of here." George roared, "Who is it from?"  
  
"The school," Lily replied blinking back more tears.  
  
"So the school has been sending you all these owls?" he asked disbelievingly.  
  
Lily looked down, as the owl let out a soft coo.  
  
"Well?!" her father shouted at her.  
  
She shook her head.  
  
"Then who Lily?" he bellowed,  
  
"A boy, from school," she whispered.  
  
"That boy, from the station?"  
  
She nodded, and braced herself.  
  
"I thought I told you that i wanted you to be a normal respectable girl, not going around with these wizarding folk?"  
  
"I am normal daddy," Lily cried.  
  
Petunia snickered.  
  
"George don't you think you are getting a little out of hand" Mary asked looking up at him with her large green eyes.  
  
"What is out of hand is her!" he cried pointing at her, "I should have never agreed to let her go to that school, with those, those,"  
  
"Freaks?" Petunia offered.  
  
"Yes them, I've had to face numerous embarrassing questions about her, and her filthy ability,"  
  
Lily burst into tears.  
  
"You are not to receive or send out anymore owls, you hear me?" he shouted bringing his face closer to her.  
  
She nodded.  
  
"Good, now get out of my sight!"  
  
Lily ran to her room and curled up in the corner crying into her hands. She closed her eyes and images filled her head.  
  
Her father shouting at her mother;  
  
"Send her away, yes that's the best thing we could do!"  
  
"To a school George," Mary said, "So she can learn,"  
  
"Learn, what's there to learn Mary, look at her the child is a freak,"  
  
"She's your daughter,"  
  
"She's not daughter of mine," he growled narrowing his eyes.  
  
Petunia crying;  
  
"I don't want a freaky sister mom, take her away, make her stay away from me!"  
  
Lily sobbed into the sleeves of her nightdress. Why couldn't her family accept her? Where was Sirius when she needed him?  
  
She had almost forgot about the school owl when he landed down on her shoulder and nipped her ear. She looked up tearfully, and the bird held out his leg. She untied the piece of parchment carefully, and with a hoot the owl was gone. Lily unrolled the parchment and read:  
  
Dear Miss Evans;  
  
I am writing this to ask you to keep me informed of any  
  
strange dreams that you have been having. I wish for you  
  
to be open with me, as this is a very important matter.  
  
Please, i need to know of everything you see, you will  
  
understand soon enough.  
  
Best wishes,  
  
Professor Dumbledore  
  
Lily crumpled up the paper frustrated, and threw it across her room. She was sick of her visions, sick of her so called gift. Another owl swooped in and Lily let out a sigh, it was James's owl.  
  
Hexer, as she was called nipped Lily affectionately and stuck out her leg, Lily untied it tenderly and the owl sat down on her bed waiting for the reply patiently.  
  
"No reply today Hexer," Lily muttered. The bird cocked its head, and after a few moments stretched out his wings and took off. Lily flung herself back on her bed and began to read Sirius's letter. He talked about how Peter had come to join him and James and of Mrs. Potters great cooking he ending with a quickly jotted "Love ya," and that was it. Lily thought this was an unsatisfactory last letter, and wondered what she would do with absolutely no contact with anyone but her family. She lay their on her bed thinking of Sirius, and wearily closing her eyes.  
  
A fog surrounded her. She walked around cautiously having no idea where she was, or where she was heading. She listened heard, hearing her own heart thumping. She walked through the dark fog quickly. She bumped into something. She waved the fog away with her had and found Sirius sitting on a chair staring blankly ahead.  
  
"Sirius?" she questioned. His dark eyes flickered.  
  
"Sirius?" she asked again reaching a hand out tenderly.  
  
"Yea James I'm up," he said staring straight ahead.  
  
"No," she shook her head, "its me Lily,"  
  
"You're mom's making waffles?" Sirius asked joyfully. A smile appeared on his face. Lily couldn't resist temptation; she reached out and touched his scruffy cheek. A confused look over took his face.  
  
"Yea I'm fine," he whispered, "I'll be down in a minute,"  
  
He reached up and touched his face where Lily was holding it, his hand slipped through hers, as if she was a ghost.  
  
"Am I dead?" she asked aloud.  
  
"Sirius look at me," she said softly, he was still staring blankly. He looked around.  
  
"Lily?" he breathed.  
  
"Sirius, yes its mean, I'm right here!" she cried waving her hand in front of his face."  
  
"Yea alright I'm coming!" Sirius shouted, as he stood up, towering over Lily. He glanced around suspiciously for a moment and then walked away into the fog. Lily ran after him only for a moment before she was jolted into reality.  
  
"Lily, some dinner dear," her mother whispered opening the door slightly.  
  
"Oh mom," Lily muttered.  
  
"I am sorry dear, about your father, he's just in one of his moods," Mary said walking foreword holding a tray full of sandwiches.  
  
She sat down on the bed.  
  
"Mom," Lily began, "I know that dad resents having me as a daughter,"  
  
"Nonsense," Mary shook her head.  
  
"No mom, I know, and I just wanted to apologize for being what I am, but say thank you for sticking up for me,"  
  
Mary stared at her daughter for a moment,  
  
"I think I should head back downstairs Lily," she said blankly and then got up quickly and exited.  
  
Lily let out a sigh picking up a sandwich and taking a bite. She sat there eating sandwiches and wondering what had took place in her mind moments earlier. 


	13. Sirius's Decision

After a late breakfast James and Peter (who had recently arrived at the Potters) decided to spend the day outside.  
  
"No thanks," Sirius chided them as he made his way back upstairs to James bedroom. He'd been feeling a bit off all morning. He made his way to the bed that Mr. Potter had conjured for him. He lay back running his hands through his hair, staring at the various quidditch posters that hung in James's room. Since Peter had arrived a few days back, Sirius and James had been sharing this room. Sirius let out a sigh, earlier he'd been sure that he'd heard Lily calling out to him. It had even got to the point where he'd sworn he'd felt her soft hand upon his cheek. Ever since a weight had settled in his stomach, and an odd feeling had overcome him. There was no way Lily could have been there, she hated to fly, and if she had flown, he knew she didn't know exactly where James's house was, and that also didn't explain why he couldn't see her. Lily's house also wasn't hooked up to the Floo Network; Sirius had checked that out back when they were in school, when they had first started discussing their summer away from each other. Lily also wasn't old enough to Aparate yet, she lay their baffled. Obviously he'd imagined it, it had been over two weeks since he'd seen her.  
  
Suddenly Hexer, James's tawny owl soared in through the window interrupting Sirius's thoughts. He smiled broadly as he looked at Hexer's leg as he landed on his perch. His face knotted with misunderstanding when he couldn't find a reply.  
  
"Hexer?" Sirius questioned the owl, who hooted softly in reply. No reply from Lily? She always replied, she never sent Hexer back with out a reply. Maybe she was busy, he explained to himself. He paused and frowned, to busy for me. He flung himself back on the bed moodily, staring up at Meredio Flugus Britain's Quidditch seeker, who was zooming around his poster happily.  
  
A week passed with no word from Lily. Sirius had sent out Hexer with a second letter, but Hexer came back with his letter still intact. Had something happened to her? Sirius began to get worried, he even had stopped eating, and Mrs. Potter was catching on. Sirius was alone in the living room one night gazing into the fire when it suddenly hit him; maybe this had to do with her gift, but what if she needed him? How would he ever know? The idea he'd been thinking about all week now seemed appropriate, even though he was supposed to wait for James. Making a decision, he grabbed a pinch of floo powder and stepped into the fireplace,  
  
"Diagon Alley!" he cried and cast the silky powder into the flames. The familiar feeling of being pulled at hit Sirius. The world whizzed by him loudly. Finally he was shot out of the fireplace at the Leaky Cauldron in Diagon Alley. He brushed the soot off his close, said hello to Tom the Bartender and made his way out into the streets of London. He wasn't sure if he was heading in the right direction but he made his way east, down the long streets. Finally he saw what he was looking for; a lone telephone booth, fully intact with a pink receiver. He dialed the numbers he'd heard his mother talk about.  
  
"Hello welcome to the Ministry of Magic, please state you're name and your business," a cheerful witch said.  
  
"Sirius Black, Apparition testing," Sirius said coolly.  
  
"Thank-You please take this badge and enjoy you're stay,"  
  
A yellow badge bearing the name Sirius Black, with the words, Apparition testing, shot out of the phone as the floor began to open up, sucking Sirius down with it.  
  
Once in the main lobby, he stopped (as the witch had instructed him too) at the wand check. A grumpy old wizard swiped Sirius's wand out of his hand, looked it over carefully, and then gave it back. Sirius made his way to the third floor via the elevator, and marched into the apparition testing ward, hoping that James wouldn't be too mad. Sirius had decided to pass his test so that he could visit Lily to make sure things were okay. He didn't have time to wait until the end of July when James would turn seventeen.  
  
"Date of Birth?" a small witch asked looking up at him impatiently.  
  
"May 3rd 1972" Sirius recited.  
  
The witch smiled up at him and pointed him towards an empty office,  
  
"Just wait in there the Professor will be with you shortly,"  
  
Sirius went into the room and shut the door. He glanced around the painfully white room and read the advertisements that littered the walls.  
  
"Good Afternoon Mr. Black," Professor Dumbledore said walking in.  
  
"Professor Dumbledore?" Sirius was shocked.  
  
"Yes, I am here to test your aparating ability Sirius, now please if you would fallow me."  
  
Sirius gulped and followed his Headmaster.  
  
Sirius walked out on the streets of London, happily clutching his certificate. Deciding to use his new ability, he thought hard about The Potter's Living room, willing himself to be there and sure enough with a loud crack, he was standing inside the homey room.  
  
"Sirius?" James called out, he walked into the room, "There you are, where were you?"  
  
"Out for a walk," Sirius lied.  
  
"Are you feeling alright?" Peter, who had followed James asked.  
  
"Nah, I'm feeling a bit queasy, I think I will head to bed," Sirius muttered rushing past his two friends and upstairs to James room. He shut the door.  
  
"Sirius,"  
  
"WHAT?" Sirius yelled.  
  
Nobody answered. He sighed got up, opened the door and peered down the stairs. Nobody.  
  
He retreated down the stairs,  
  
"Sirius,"  
  
"What?" he questioned, "James?"  
  
Movement from the kitchen caught his eye.  
  
"James were you calling me?" Sirius asked as he spotted James and Peter playing wizards chess on the kitchen table.  
  
"I thought you went up to bed," James asked pushing his queen towards Peter's Rook who quivered as the Queen raised her sword.  
  
"I did, I just thought somebody called me," Sirius said.  
  
James looked up at him ignoring the crash as the Queen killed the Rook, "Sirius, you don't look to good, nobody said anything,"  
  
Sirius stared at James for a few more seconds and then retreated back to James's room.  
  
He sighed as he entered again, throwing himself down on the bed.  
  
"Sirius,"  
  
Sirius growled sitting up wildly.  
  
"Sirius, I need you," The voice whispered, "Where are you?"  
  
A hand touched his leg, caressed his face, brushed his lips with theirs, and yet nobody was in front of him. He reached out hoping to feel somebody, but found nothing.  
  
"Sirius, please, find me," Lily pleaded. It was her voice again. He closed his eyes willing himself to be with her, willing himself to be beside her, in her bedroom. With a loud crack Sirius opened his eyes and found himself in a pale blue room. He turned around. Lily was lying there on her bed, in a nightgown, reaching out, as if she was trying to touch something,  
  
"Sirius," she whispered again.  
  
"Lily!" he cried. Her eyes flew open. She sat up quickly.  
  
"Sirius!" she shrieked. She was up and in his arms within seconds, "Oh, Sirius, how did you get here?" she asked.  
  
"I passed my apparition test," he replied happily stroking her long red hair and staring into the green eyes that drove him crazy.  
  
"I've missed you so much," Lily whispered looking into his dark eyes. She reached up and kissed his lips. His body responded instantly, but he needed to ask her why she hadn't replied to him weeks ago.  
  
"Lily, didn't you reply to me?" he asked pulling away.  
  
"Oh," she said biting her lip, "It's my father,"  
  
"What about him?"  
  
"He, doesn't think I should be seeing a wizard, he wants me to be what he considers normal, so he banned owls from coming or leaving the house,"  
  
"I was so worried," Sirius breathed into her hair.  
  
"Lily!" Her father bellowed. Lily's green eyes filled with shock,  
  
"Sirius," she cried, as she heard her father make his way up the stair, "Hide, hurry before he sees you," she hissed. She stared at the door handle which had began to spin,  
  
"Sirius!"  
  
"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!" Her father bellowed walking into her room,"  
  
"Daddy it's not what you think!" Lily cried. 


	14. The Truth

"Daddy please," Lily pleaded as her father strode across the room angrily.  
  
"What," he yelled, "Was that bloody noise?"  
  
Lily glanced fearfully towards her closet, where Sirius had slipped out of sight.  
  
"I was doing my homework," Lily explained quickly.  
  
"Homework?" Her father repeated his eyes resting on the wand that lay next to her bedside table.  
  
"Yes, for my Charms class, for school," Lily said calmly, still staring at the closet.  
  
"So you were practicing, for school?" Her father bellowed, "Doing Magic?"  
  
"Y-yes," Lily stammered.  
  
"What did I tell you about magic?" he asked bringing his face closer to her. She backed up, crawling on her hands across her bed. She shook her head, tears forming in her eyes.  
  
"I forbade it didn't I Lily," He yelled.  
  
She shook her head again,  
  
"You never said -"  
  
"Well if I didn't I meant it!" He inched closer to her, "I don't need to be reminded of your...abnormality."  
  
Lily blinked, shuddering on her bed. Why was her father being so horrible,  
  
"Daddy..." She whispered.  
  
"Don't call me that!" he spat, "That's right, you're mother has gone out with Petunia so now nobody is here to object to what I have to say, to what I want to do,"  
  
The tears escaped,  
  
"I know that you hate me," she whispered, "I feel your regret,"  
  
Her father nodded, "I should have left your mother when I found out that you were like you were."  
  
"I should have taken Petunia and left, but you're mother begged me to stay, she said to wait and that I would see how truly gifted you are, but I see nothing but a stupid little bitch!"  
  
Lily suppressed a sob.  
  
"She send that we would send you away, and I was hopping it was a permanent move, I didn't realize you were being taught, that your mother was wasting my hard earned money to produce..." he trailed off breathing hard.  
  
"Do you know how many questions I have gotten, and folks reckon I lie to them about your whereabouts its caused a downfall in my reputation. Damn you Lily, it's your entire fault, and your mother was always in my way defending you, but no more," he growled.  
  
"Why couldn't you be normal, be like Petunia make your father proud?" he screamed at her.  
  
Lily didn't answer; she was to frightened to speak. He reached out and slapped her across the face.  
  
Lily cried out in pain.  
  
"Daddy..." She sobbed.  
  
"DONT CALL ME THAT!" he roared, "You will never be my daughter, you are nothing more than a horrible FREAK!" He slapped her across the face again, and she howled, glancing at the closet, where she could make out Sirius's deep eyes through the crack in the door. George Evans grabbed his daughter by the shoulders and began to shake her,  
  
"Do you know what you've cost me?!" he yelled horribly.  
  
Sirius edged back further in the closet where he was hiding, unable to believe what he was witnessing. Why hadn't Lily told him what had been going on with her father, why hadn't she explained it to him. He could have found her somewhere else to stay.  
  
A car engine died in the drive way, and hope flickered across Lily's bruised face.  
  
"There's that damned woman now!" her father muttered.  
  
"Mother!" Lily let out,  
  
SLAP! George's hand met her face, "You're not learning!" he mumbled gripping her shoulders once more. Lily screamed in pain, as his grip on her tightened. Sirius could feel tears forming in his own eyes, as he sat in the closet feeling helpless. George Evans was twice his size and if he revealed himself, Mr. Evans would probably hurt Lily more.  
  
"George!?" A female voice shrieked. The pounding of feet rose up the stairs. Lily's door burst open again, revealing a panic stricken woman. This must be Lily's mother.  
  
"George!" she shrieked, rushing over, "What are you doing?!" She grabbed at Georges's arm and pulled hard. George released his grip, and Lily sat up frightened her hair falling in front of her face as she sobbed.  
  
"GEORGE!" Mrs. Evans cried staring up at her husband, "Why?"  
  
"I was teaching that bitch a lesson,"  
  
"Do not call her that! She is your daughter!"  
  
"She is no daughter of mine Mary, I don't carry that abnormality in my Genes, and you told me you didn't either, so what happened."  
  
Mary looked at him horrified.  
  
"You slept with some cock of a wizard didn't you?" George snarled.  
  
"No!" Mary gasped in shock, reaching for Lily instinctively,"  
  
"You whore," George growled, "Petunia and I researched. She had your DNA tested, and no shred of magic showed up, same with mine."  
  
Mary shook her head, "NO!" she cried.  
  
"I found out Mary, Now everyone knows you're a liar." George.  
  
"Mom?" Lily questioned wiping her tears with the back of her hand.  
  
"I was DRUNK!" she cried helplessly.  
  
Sirius felt the urge to vomit, he felt as if he was invading everyone's personal life.  
  
"You're not my father?" Lily asked stupidly staring up at George.  
  
"OF COURSE NOT!" George bellowed.  
  
"GET OUT!" Mary cried.  
  
"You're not sending me out of my own house," George shot back.  
  
Lily picked up her wand and Mary the telephone receiver.  
  
"I will call the police George, how will you explain to them? How will you explain this?" Mary cried pointing at the bruises coming out on Lily's shoulders.  
  
George looked at her uncertainly; Lily raised the wand pointing it at him.  
  
"I will see you in court!" he muttered, narrowing his evil eyes at her, and then he left.  
  
"Lily dear," Mary began.  
  
"Get away from me mother, how could you lie to me all this time?" Lily shrieked.  
  
"Lily, I'm sorry,"  
  
"Leave me alone," Lily sobbed flipping over and burying her head into her pillow. Mary bit her lip glancing down at her daughter, and then sighed and left quietly.  
  
Sirius burst out of the closet.  
  
"LILY!" he cried.  
  
"Shh," she whispered sitting up again. Sirius dug in his pocket for his wand.  
  
"Silencio," he muttered at the door.  
  
"We're not allowed to do magic Sirius," Lily sobbed.  
  
"I don't care," Sirius replied sitting down on her bed.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?" he muttered into her hair as she threw her arms around him.  
  
"Sirius," she sobbed, and all of her anguish poured out onto his shoulder. Her body shook as she let go of everything that had just happened. After a long time, she pulled away from him.  
  
"I've been calling to you, all month, even though I knew you couldn't hear me, I needed you!" she whispered.  
  
"Well I am here now," he whispered back, but before he could think about what she had said and owl flew in threw her window and settled itself on the bed between Lily and Sirius. Sirius untied the parchment.  
  
"Dear Miss Evans,  
  
We have intelligence that a Silencing charm was used at your place of residence at 6:42pm today.  
  
Hopefully you are aware that the Ministry does not permit magic outside of school  
  
and that another violation could result in your expulsion.  
  
Thank-You  
  
Have a good night  
  
Meraulda Merkins  
  
Magic Reinforcement Official"  
  
Sirius crumpled up the letter and tossed it across the room. He reached over to Lily and pulled her into his lap rocking her gently.  
  
"I heard you calling me Lily," He told her.  
  
"You did?" she asked.  
  
"Yea, this morning. I thought I was going insane because I could hear you calling me, whispering my name, and touching my face."  
  
Lily looked up at him,  
  
"When I think about you, I enter this place, like a foggy realm of my mind, and there you are, sitting there on a chair, all alone, and i talk to you, or even touch you."  
  
"Well i can feel you Lily," he whispered, "Is it part of your gift? Can you actualy enter other peoples minds?"  
  
"I don't know," she muttered.  
  
"I hate my self Sirius," she whispered.  
  
"No, no," he cried, "Don't do that, Lily you are the most amazing person I know you're smart and-"  
  
Sirius stopped when he saw Lily's lower lip trembling.  
  
"How can I be so amazing? Everyone here hates me!"  
  
"I can't explain why your mother and father-"  
  
"He's not my dad," Lily sobbed.  
  
"Well your mother and George," Sirius continued, "Look George is obviously blinded by his anger at your mother, and so he's taking it out on you and the wizarding world. And you're mother loves you, you know she does."  
  
"I know," Lily whispered, "I'm just trying to take this all in,"  
  
"I know baby," Sirius whispered, pulling her close again, "And I'm gonna help you through this okay."  
  
Lily nodded, "How could this happen Sirius?"  
  
"I don't know," Sirius muttered feeling like a jerk, he was totally helpless.  
  
"I don't know either," she muttered as tears slipped down her cheeks.  
  
"Lily," he whispered, using his finger under her chin to make her look at him, "Please don't cry, it hurts me so much,"  
  
"Hold me closer Sirius," She whispered desperately. Sirius listened holding her tighter, kissed her forehead.  
  
"I love you Lily, please don't forget that."  
  
"I won't." She said through her tears. 


	15. The Dark Lord

In the next week Sirius continued to visit Lily. He would pretend to be going to bed and then aparate to her house. After her father left, Lily's mother fell into deep depression and Petunia left with that Dursley boy. Today Sirius found himself in Lily's arms on her bed as she kissed him passionately. He pulled away.  
  
"I managed to talk to Remus's parents," Sirius said.  
  
Lily looked up at him hopefully,  
  
"The faster I can leave this hellhole the better," she whispered reaching up and kissing his cheek. He winced.  
  
"Well, see Remus's parents said you could meet us at the World Cup and stay for the remainder of the holidays, whereas James, Peter and I are heading out tonight."  
  
"But that means I only get to leave three days earlier than usual," She cried, obviously disappointed, "And I thought you guys were leaving tomorrow?"  
  
Sirius shrugged in response,  
  
"James changed his mind, and I couldn't convince Mr. and Mrs. Lupin, they figure we are too serious to trust,"  
  
Lily bit her lip and brushed her hair out of her face, "Well we are aren't we?"  
  
"Of course," Sirius replied, glancing out side and noticing the sinking sun, "Lily, I better get going, we will be leaving for Remus's soon and It's time I woke up from my nap," he grinned at her.  
  
"You've been sleeping a lot lately haven't you?" She laughed.  
  
"Yea and I've been having the sweetest dreams," he said softly leaning towards her and kissing her pale lips. She reached for his hand and gave it a quick squeeze,  
  
"I'll be back to say Goodnight," he smiled and with a loud crack he left her there sitting on her bed.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Well I think I should head up to bed," Sirius said with a large fake yawn.  
  
James rolled his eyes and nudged Remus,  
  
"What is it this time a head cold?" he sniggered.  
  
"No, Just tired,"  
  
"You've been tired an awful lot lately, I've barely seen you," Peter squeaked.  
  
"Drop it Wormtail," Sirius snarled leaving the Lupin's table. He raced up to the room he was sharing with Remus and glanced in the mirror, looking at his watch quickly, making sure he wasn't too late.  
  
"Do you want to tell me what you're up to?" a deep inquizative voice asked.  
  
Sirius looked up to see Remus leaning against the door frame, his arms crossed across his chest tightly.  
  
"Nothing, just tired Remy," Sirius said looking away from him.  
  
"Come on Sirius, I know you better than that," Remus said coming across the room towards him.  
  
Sirius let out a sigh, glancing at his watch again.  
  
"Alright, I took the test," Sirius said.  
  
"The apparition test?" Remus yelled.  
  
"Shutup!" Sirius warned.  
  
"I thought you were waiting for James?" Remus looked confused.  
  
"I was, but then Lily stopped writing me, and I figured something bad was up so i wanted to be able to see her without being noticed," Sirius explained.  
  
"So you went with out him," Remus asked, looking hurt.  
  
"Yea, I did," Sirius snapped.  
  
Remus looked up at him and let out a sigh,  
  
"Don't you think you're forgetting about your friends a little bit Padfoot?"  
  
"No!" Sirius replied, angry now, "She's important to me, come on Moony, you should understand,"  
  
Remus looked at him for some time, before nodding slowly,  
  
"So what was up, why'd she stop writing?"  
  
"A lot of shit has been going on with her lately, her dad and stuff, and I need to be there for her," Sirius told him, "Please, don't say anything,"  
  
" I wont, but promise you'll be around for the full moon," Remus replied winking.  
  
"Wouldn't miss it," Sirius smiled at him, "Thanks,"  
  
and with that and a loud crack Sirius disaparated.  
  
When he arrived in Lily's room, she was just arriving there as well. She tugged at her black tank top, and glanced up at him.  
  
"Hey," she smiled.  
  
"Hi," he said walking towards her.  
  
"Well, are you ready to go to bed?" Sirius grinned.  
  
She smiled at him, and walked over to the bed crawling in. Sirius pulled up the covers and tucked them around her. She reached up and grabbed his colar, pulling him down to her face. She kissed him long and hard.  
  
"Goodnight Lily," he whispered and stood up.  
  
"Stay," she begged, "Please,"  
  
He looked at her wrinkling his eyebrows, "Stay here?"  
  
She nodded, she reached up and kissed him again, "Stay," she whispered in his ear. Sirius covered her lips with his. He got on the bed, kneeling over her. He made a trail down her neck and over her shoulders. She let the strap of her shirt fall over her shoulder as he continued to kiss her. She reached up and lifted his shirt over his head, never breaking contact with his lips. She slid her hands over his back, and he broke away laughing slightly.  
  
"That tickles," he smiled.  
  
"Sirius," she whispered huskily as he lowered his lips on her again. She reached down and slowly undid the ties on her pajamas.  
  
"Lily!" he warned huskily, "If you do that I might not be able to stop myself,"  
  
"I don't want you to stop," Lily whispered.  
  
Sirius lifted her shirt up and kissed her stomach softly, Lily moaned. She undid his pants and he slipped out of them as she smiled at his boxers which were covered with brooms. She tugged on them and he slid on top of her.  
  
"Lily?" he questioned kissing her neck.  
  
"I'm sure," she told him.  
  
"Oh Sirius," she gasped, when they had finished making love.  
  
"Lily," Sirius whispered breathing heavily, "Oh Lily I love you,"  
  
"I love you to," she told him her heart racing.  
  
"Promise me you'll never leave me," He asked looking down at her sadly.  
  
"I never will," she promised, reaching up entangling her hands in his hair.  
  
"Good because I wanna spend the rest of my life with you," He smiled weakly at her and then rested his head on her chest before falling into a deep sleep. Lily kissed his head lightly and closed her eyes.  
  
Far away from where Lily and Sirius slept soundlessly still clutching each other, a woman was sitting in a vast living room. She sat alone in a wicker rocking chair humming to herself. A man entered.  
  
"Is she alright?" The women asked quickly.  
  
"She will be, just a little upset to see her big brother leave so soon." The man replied reaching down and kissing his wife on the cheek.  
  
"I'm proud of him you know?" she said wistfully looking out the window.  
  
"Me too, he's become quite a man hasn't he?" The man pondered.  
  
But the woman was unable to respond. A loud bang and a wave of heat interrupted their conversation.  
  
"MAMA!" A little girl's shrill scream filled the house.  
  
"Paul?" The women questioned the man standing up quickly. The man looked around unsure of what was going on. The little girls whimpering stopped. Paul looked at his wife fearfully  
  
"JODY!" he cried out as she bolted out of the room. She only made it half way up the stairs before another bomb hit the house. She let out a painful scream before the fire and heat engulfed her, her husband and daughter into darkness. Green light protruded into the darkness, a skull and a serpent filled the empty space. A high pitch cackle filled the silence.  
  
Miles away, back in Surrey Lily woke up with a start. Reality hit her.  
  
"NOOO!" she screamed sitting up and throwing Sirius from on top of her.  
  
"Lily?" Sirius asked suddenly awake.  
  
"No, oh god no!" she whimpered.  
  
"What?" he asked.  
  
"My dream,"  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's happened they're dead," She sobbed putting her head in her hands.  
  
"Who's dead?" Sirius asked intently.  
  
Lily looked up, tears pouring down her cheeks once more. She stared into his eyes.  
  
"The Potters..." she whispered, "He killed them!"  
  
Sirius felt his eyes well up with tears,  
  
"Who killed them?" he choked on the lump in his throat.  
  
"The Dark Lord," she muttered.  
  
Lily's sobs filled the silence. 


	16. The Letters

"Lily please tell me it's not true," Sirius whispered as tears poured down his cheeks.  
  
She let out an agonized sob, clutching onto the blanket between them.  
  
"Oh Sirius," she sniffed.  
  
The realization hit Sirius and he swallowed the deep emotions that had filled his throat. He let his head fall into his hands,  
  
"Do you know why?" he whispered at last. He looked up at Lily sitting there across from him. The blanket was pulled up around her, and she bit her lip, her red hair sticking to her tear-stained fast.  
  
She shook her head sniffing again.  
  
"Why?" she whispered, "Why do I have this horrible Gift?"  
  
Sirius didn't answer but thought of Mr. and Mrs. Potter. He bowed his head again, and reached out for Lily's hand.  
  
"And James..." she let out.  
  
"James?!" Sirius yelled.  
  
"He's lost his family," She whispered, 'Just like me,' she thought.  
  
"Maybe I should go back to Remus's, do you think he knows?" Sirius asked getting up off the bed and pulling his boxers back on.  
  
An Owl fluttered in through the window and landed amongst the sheets on Lily's bed. She reached out grabbing the parchment.  
  
Dear Lily and Sirius,  
  
"How does he know I am here?" Sirius asked, blushing a little.  
  
I am aware, as I know you are, that the Potters have been murdered this night. I regret to inform you that Lord Voldemort is responsible. It is very lucky that James was not home, or else he too would have perished. I cannot tell you why they were killed, but I must ask you to forget the feelings you have inside right now and pull yourself together. Please make your way to Remus Lupin's and comfort him. The letters from his parents have just been sent out and he will be learning of their deaths shortly. The Potters were my friends, but unfortunately they won't be the only ones who will die at the hands of Voldemort. Please go and be with James, and Lily, please help him, by whatever means necessary. I am apologize to both of you, Sirius, I know that they were like parents to you, but you must be strong for James, and Lily I am sorry you had to envision this, if I could have prevented their deaths I would have, they were wonderful people.  
  
My apologies,  
  
Albus Dumbledore  
  
"Letters from his parents?" Sirius asked out loud, zipping up his jeans.  
  
"Whatever means necessary?" Lily questioned.  
  
Sirius tossed her her shirt.  
  
"Do you think they knew they were going to die?" Sirius asked softly.  
  
"No, well at least it appeared they didn't know," Lily told him, closing her eyes at the memory.  
  
The pair got dressed, and threw cloaks on over the clothes. It was 4 am. Sirius grabbed Lily's hand as they made their way out of her room.  
  
Something pecked at James's face. He growled in his sleep and rolled over.  
  
"Whooo!"  
  
James groaned and rubbed his face with his hands. It was still dark. Peter was snoring softly on the floor where he lay. An owl's beady eyes stared at James through the darkness. Who would be sending him something this late? Or was it early? He shook his head and untied two rolls of parchment from the owl's leg.  
  
James looked quizzically at the owl and then opened one of the letters. His mother's neat handwriting lay before him.  
  
Dearest James,  
  
If you receive this letter it means that I have passed.  
  
'Passed?' James thought breathing a little bit faster.  
  
I wanted you to know that you're father and I am very proud of you. What a man you have become. I wish for you to have a good life, like mine was. I want you to meet the right woman, and get married at have children. Children are life's greatest gift James, and you were mine. You know it is hard sitting here writing out my death letter, when I am not even dead yet. I hope that you never have to read this letter, but James, if you are; I want you to know I was proud of what I died for. You're father and I were part of an organization, working against Lord Voldemort. One of his spied has probably spilled the beans about our whereabouts, and so he came to murder us. James I am hoping that he never murdered you or Emily. If not, please take care of your little sister she is too young to understand what has happened. James, promise you will not go looking for Voldemort, he is a terrible man, and promise me you will stay strong and proud of your parents. Promise me, that you will graduate from Hogwarts and become the great wizard I know you are. Promise me you'll remember that even though I am not around anymore, I will always be with you, in your heart, and you will never be without a mother.  
  
Well I am running out of things to say, which is odd, because there are so many things I bet I'll want to say once I am gone. James you know I love you very much. Please don't forget me.  
  
All my love,  
  
Your mother,  
  
Jody Potter  
  
James look up tears smarting in his eyes. His mother - part of a organization - dead? His beautiful wonderful mother? He coughed out a sob, not wanting to wake Peter.  
  
He sighed unrolling the other piece of parchment with shaking hands.  
  
Son,  
  
James, when you were born, I was the proudest wizard that ever walked the earth. I was married to a beautiful witch, and now I had this amazing little bundle of joy. I'm not sure why we called you James, but your mother and I were very proud of our first child. We were in and out of St. Mungos more times than you'd believe. Every scratch, things that even simple magic could cure were life threatening to us. I remember when I bought you your first broom, and you raced around with me. I taught you Quidditch. I hope you join the British team son, your very talented. I am so proud of the man that you've become. I hope that everything that your mother and I have taught you stays with you and you pass it on to your children. I am sorry that I died son, at a time when you might have needed me the most. Your mother and I joined the Organization Against The Dark Lord a few years back. We didn't want to trouble you with the information. We knew we might die, but it is a just cause. Hopefully our deaths save others. I will miss you, and I hope you will miss me, but I will always be there when you need me. I love you more than anything. I hope you know that. Enclosed are the deeds to our house and our wills okay? The key to our vault in Gringotts is there also. Use it well,  
  
All my love,  
  
Your father,  
  
Paul Potter  
  
James brought the letter to his face, and cried into the fading parchment. A loud bang erupted from downstairs. Commotion filled the hallway.  
  
"Moony?" Sirius called out. A door opened a closed, as James cried silently. James heard muffled voices. The door opened and closed again. His door opened and light was thrown into the room. The narrow strip grew on his bed.  
  
"James?" Remus asked attentively. The light fell on James. He was sitting on his bed, clutching a piece of parchment. His eyes were red, and he looked up at the door sadly. Tears were flowing down his cheeks. He wiped them away quickly. He cleared his throat.  
  
"James, buddy, its okay man, don't be afraid to cry," Sirius said stepping in the door, leaning against the wall for support. Peter let out a loud snort.  
  
"Dumbledore wrote to us mate," Remus whispered, stepping over Peter, making his way to the bed. He sat down. He placed a hand on James's shoulder, who winced at his touch. Sirius advanced to the bed as well.  
  
"Come on James, we've been through tuff stuff before!" he said brightly sitting down.  
  
James smiled weakly, but his smile broke and his lip trembled.  
  
"James," the two friends said together. He pulled them suddenly towards him and burst out sobbing loudly into their shirts. He went on like this, crying wildly for quite some time.  
  
"Emily?" James choked out. He looked up at Sirius's grave face. Sirius shook his head.  
  
James whole body shook,  
  
"I'm alone!" he yelled.  
  
"We are here, James we promise to be here for you," Remus said firmly, hugging James. But he pushed him away.  
  
"I don't want you, I want my family!" James cried out desperately.  
  
"I just want my family," he cried, the tears falling once more. He howled in despair. Somebody entered the room, causing a shadow to cast across James's damp face.  
  
"Lily?" James asked standing up wiping his tears once more.  
  
"James, I am sor-" she began.  
  
"You bitch!" he screamed. Lily stepped back, thinking back to the third year.  
  
"You told me they were going to die, you envisioned it, and it's your entire fault!" He yelled at her.  
  
"James, I didn't mea-"  
  
"Get out of here!" He roared, "How dare you come in here, you murderer!"  
  
"James," Remus cried, pulling his friend back down, "Calm down, I know you're really upset, but Lily didn't murder anyone,"  
  
"James, I didn't ask to see what I saw,"  
  
"And I didn't ask.." he trailed off into a sob, "I didn't ask to lose my family,"  
  
"James," Lily whispered stepping closer,  
  
"Don't come near me, I want to be alone, please leave me alone, all of you." He said darkly looking out the window.  
  
"James?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Just leave Sirius, Please." 


	17. Opening Her Mind

Lily sat at a small kitchen table. Chairs had been drawn up around it. Lily was resting her head on one arm, which was propped up on the table; the other was clutching a warm mug of butter beer. Butter beer, usually made her feel good, but tonight it was having no affect. Beside her, Sirius had his head on the table. His eyes were closed, but he was rubbing her knee, so he hadn't fallen asleep yet. Peter who had finally woken up was looking very sullen sitting at the end of the table. Remus was on the opposite side, rubbing his temples and staring at the fireplace with his red rimmed eyes. Remus's parents were both sitting silently beside him, looking at each other helplessly.  
  
Lily closed her own green eyes. He head raced.  
  
"Just let me die God, please, I want to be with them." James conscience whispered.  
  
"I can't believe they are gone, wonder how James is?" Remus thought oddly.  
  
"James......Lily............" Sirius's mind was in jumbles.  
  
"JODY!" A man screamed again.  
  
"James?" Lily's own voice cried out.  
  
"Dead," Snarled another.  
  
"No, please," Lily cried.  
  
"This is goodbye," Lily wept.  
  
"Lily, why?" Sirius cried.  
  
"I hate to ask you to do this," Dumbledore fussed.  
  
Lily's head shot up. Sirius had fallen asleep. Lily got up quietly. She made her way over to the stairs. She tiptoed up. She walked over to the door. Grasping the cold doorknob, Lily took a deep breath and opened it.  
  
"Go away," James muttered.  
  
Lily walked in anyway, and sat down beside him. He didn't look at her.  
  
"I didn't ask to see what I saw James, I didn't ask to be born with this gift, if that's what you want to call it. It is a burden; I see things I don't want to see."  
  
James continued to stare ahead,  
  
"Look I know you hate me, but I am still going to be here for you, even if we aren't and haven't been friends. I am sorry that I saw your parents dying, and I am sorry that I saw you in your animagus form, but I didn't ask to!" Lily's voice began to rise.  
  
"How did they die?" James's voice was different from normal.  
  
"Well James...I ..."  
  
"Just tell me," he whispered.  
  
"The house blew up,"  
  
"Did you see them?"  
  
"Yes,"  
  
"Where they happy,"  
  
"They were, they were talking about how proud of you they were," Lily told him.  
  
He brought his knees up to his chest and folded his arms around them. They sat there in silence for a long time.  
  
The August heat blew around Lily and Sirius as they lay on a blanket in the forest behind Remus's house. A week had passed since the Potters deaths. James still wouldn't talk to anybody. Remus, Sirius and Peter had given up. Mrs. Lupin was the only one who entered the bedroom, force feeding James.  
  
Sirius and Lily lay on their backs looking up at the cloudless sky.  
  
"So what about us?" Sirius asked suddenly.  
  
"What about us?" Lily asked sitting up and looking down at him.  
  
"Well, we love each other right?" Sirius asked.  
  
"We've discussed this before," Lily said a little bit impatiently. She was busy thinking about James, and what Dumbledore had written in his letter. Help him, but how?  
  
"Well I don't want to scare you Lily, but I've been thinking about what happened, with Mr. and Mrs. Potter. I don't know what I'd do if I woke up one day and you were gone. That thought scares the shit out of me." Sirius told her.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because you are the only person in the world who loves me, and whom I love back," Sirius said stroking her face, "I need you."  
  
Lily smiled at him.  
  
"Which is why, I decided to get you this." He said sweetly. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a box.  
  
"Sirius!" Lily cried.  
  
"It's not an engagement ring don't worry," he laughed.  
  
She let out a sigh of relief.  
  
"In honor of our sixth month anniversary, I got you a promise ring. I care about you a lot Lily, I think that you are the woman for me, the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. So this ring is your promise that I will marry you sometime in the future. I can't imagine life without the sweet smell of your hair, or your soft skin, or beautiful smile, or lavishly green eyes. Lily Evans I love you." Sirius whispered taking the gold ring out of the box and slipping it on her finger.  
  
"Sirius," she gasped admiring the way the gold sparkled in the sunlight. She looked up at him, here eyes shinning and threw her arms around his neck.  
  
"Thank-you," she whispered in his ear, "Thank-you for everything,"  
  
With that Sirius drew her face close and kissed her hard. She kissed him back softly.  
  
"Do it now while nobody can stop you," James whispered far away in her mind.  
  
Lily broke away sharply. Sirius looked up at her scrunching his eyebrows.  
  
"Sorry," She smiled, closed her eyes and kissed him again.  
  
"Remus and Peter are playing Quidditch,"  
  
Lily opened her eyes and glanced sideways toward the small quidditch pitch that was visible through the trees. Sirius continued to kiss her. There was Remus and Peter flying around carelessly in the sun.  
  
"Mr. and Mrs. Lupin are just leaving for work,"  
  
Sirius moved his kisses to her neck. Lily moaned softly.  
  
"Carl!" Mrs. Lupin could be heard calling her husband, "We're going to be late!"  
  
"Coming hunny," Mr. Lupin called back moments later. The front door slammed shut.  
  
"Sirius is with Lily....Lily..." James's thoughts rested on her for a minute.  
  
Lily brought Sirius's lips from her shoulder to her mouth. She could feel his hands sliding up the back of her shirt slowly.  
  
Pain lashed out from inside of her. She pushed Sirius away with a cry. She scrambled to her feet and began running through the trees towards the house.  
  
"Lily?" Sirius called after her, "Did I hurt you? Lily!" his voice echoed far away.  
  
Lily had made her way to the side entrance of the house. She threw open the screen door.  
  
"Lily!" Sirius shouted emerging from the forest. She dashed across the kitchen and up the stairs. She paused in the hallway. she was standing in front of James' bedroom door. She could hear Sirius making his way up the stairs.  
  
"Lily?" he called to her. She took a deep breath and opened the door. Lily gasped and fell back against the wall for support. There sprawled on the floor was James, both his wrists were slit. She was too late.  
  
"Lily?" Sirius came into the room, "Oh my God," 


	18. Finding James

"LILY!" Sirius screamed at her.  
  
She swallowed the sob in her throat and rushed over to James, falling on her knees. She felt around his throat and dropped her head to his chest.  
  
"There is still a pulse," She said looking up with tears in her eyes, "Sirius, there's a pulse."  
  
Sirius hurried over and scooped James up. His muscles were strained under James's wait, but he managed to stager over to the fireplace at the end of the room.  
  
"Lily, Floo Powder," Sirius instructed.  
  
"Where are you taking him?" Lily asked reaching into the glass jar on the mantel for some yellow powder.  
  
"St Mungo's," Sirius replied staring at her hand, that was full of the powder.  
  
"I'm coming with you!" She cried pushing James's leg into the fireplace.  
  
"No you're not, just stay here Lily," Sirius yelled.  
  
"Sirius, I've got to be there, trust me," She gave him a significant look; although she did not know why she felt that she had to be there. Her gut just told her so. She threw that powder into the flames.  
  
"I'll see you there!" Sirius shouted over the roar of fire, as it flickered green, "St Mungos Emergency!"  
  
In a second Sirius felt the familiar feeling of being sucked out of the fireplace. It was hard to keep himself still while still holding James up. When he finally emerged from the fire he was standing in the middle of emergency room. Witches and wizards were running around frantically. A man with a plant on his head was wheeled past Sirius.  
  
"HELP!" he yelled.  
  
"Oh dear!" a nearby witch cried at the site of a bloodied James.  
  
A nurse-witch came rushing over with a clipboard.  
  
"Injury?" she inquired,  
  
"Look lady, the kid has two slit wrists and if you don't fix him right now he is going to die!" Sirius cried.  
  
The nurse pursed her lips,  
  
"Isn't this the Potters boy?" She asked him.  
  
"GET HIM TO AN EFFING DOCTOR!" Sirius roared.  
  
The witch summoned a stretcher and Sirius placed him on it.  
  
"Locomotor stretcher," she muttered. She lead the stretcher through some doors. Sirius followed.  
  
"I'm sorry sir, but you can't come in here," she said, "Have a seat,"  
  
"Tell me when anything happens, please!" Sirius cried sitting down on a nearby chair.  
  
The fire sizzled green and Lily popped out rubbing soot of her robes.  
  
"Where is he?" she inquired sitting down beside Sirius. He pointed towards the door that the witch and James had vanished behind.  
  
"Did you tell Remus and Peter where we were?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Well...no, I just followed," Lily gulped.  
  
Sirius looked at her for a moment and then reached up grabbing a handful of his hair. He looked back down at the floor.  
  
"I-i better go write them," with that he got up and left.  
  
Lily sat there alone, feeling horrible. Watching people with various ailments walk by. How could James have done this to her? Didn't he realize what trouble he'd caused?  
  
'Well what I've caused, If i hadn't have envisioned this stupid crap!' Lily thought to herself burying her face into her hands.  
  
Lily felt the familiar sensation of being pushed into the corner of ones mind. There was James.  
  
Healers were surrounding him as he lay there on the bed. They were oblivious to that fact that she was there in James's mind.  
  
"These are just cuts, why aren't they mending?" one asked aloud.  
  
"It's as if he's willing them to stay open." another muttered.  
  
"Poor kid though, lost his whole family; I read about it the other night in the Daily Prophet,"  
  
It was as if a cloud of anxiety and depression lie over James's head enabling him to breath. The pain was suffocating him as he laid their unconscious.  
  
"James," she called, "Come on, this is silly, just wake up, let yourself live!"  
  
There was no response.  
  
"James, we all care about you, don't you get it, you can't die!"  
  
No response.  
  
Suddenly Professor Dumbledore burst into her thoughts.  
  
"You must heal this boy!" he cried.  
  
"Dumbledore?" The head healer said looking angry, "I am sorry but you cannot be back here, please make your way to the waiting area,"  
  
" I don't care Delfur you have to heal him! He must survive!" Dumbledore yelled.  
  
"Healer Delfur, we're losing him," the witch-nurse cried.  
  
"James, please, listen to me, Just live, don't die, please!" Lily cried out.  
  
No response. Dumbledore caught her eye. He knew she was there.  
  
"God damn you James!" Lily shouted, tears falling, "Area you really still that selfish arrogant boy I met at Hogwarts? Has nothing changed?"  
  
"We're Losing him!" the witch-nurse shouted, "Delfur!"  
  
"Delfur, don't lose him!" Dumbledore pleaded.  
  
"Are you really going to just let yourself die? When you have all that you have?"  
  
"What do I have?" James conscience asked her.  
  
"James you have talent, power, friends, people who care about you!" Lily insisted.  
  
James shook his head slightly,  
  
"Do you want us all to be like you, Sirius, Remus, for god sake even Peter will be mortified, and all because of your stupidity. All of us are going to well up with pain and sorrow, and maybe your friends will come to join you James!"  
  
He stared at her from the bed where the Healers were working.  
  
"So thats it then? You're going to let Voldemort win, this is what he wanted, he wanted to kill you all, your parents' deaths were pointless. I saw all that for nothing, FOR NOTHING!" Lily stamped her foot.  
  
"Dumbledore I'm sorry he's gone," Delfur whispered.  
  
"GOD DAMN YOU JAMES POTTER!" Lily screamed. "IT'S MY ENTIRE FAULT! WHY DID YOU DIE? WHY DID YOU LET HIM TAKE YOU?"  
  
Lily opened her eyes and faced a rather disturbed audience. Everyone is the waiting room was staring at her. Sirius included.  
  
"He's gone?" Sirius asked.  
  
Lily looked at him for a moment, opened her mouth to say something and  
  
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" she gasped. The tears came like the rain pouring outside. Why was she always the centre of death?  
  
"No," Sirius croaked. He sat down, and his shoulders heaved with sorrow, "James..."  
  
"It's you isn't it?" He looked at her with a murderous stare, "I should have known way back when you told me about Remus, you traitor, you are working for him aren't you? You Spy, You follower, you death eater!" Sirius yelled.  
  
Lily's sobs ceased, "Sirius listen to yourself,"  
  
"I DONT WANT TO LISTEN, I WANT A NORMAL GIRLFRIEND, NOT SANTAN, I WANT MY BROTHER BACK!" Sirius was up at out of the room before Lily had realized what had happened. She stared after him. Why could she just be normal?  
  
"Lily," Dumbledore said gently walking over to her. She melted into her seat. She hadn't realized Professor Dumbledore had been there the whole time.  
  
"Sir I-" she began,  
  
"It worked!" he cried joyously smiling at her, "Lily you did it, He's back!"  
  
"James?" Lily gasped again.  
  
"I don't know what you said to him, but they are calling it a miricale, the cuts just healed up minutes after they told me he was dead."  
  
"He's alive?" Lily screamed. She got up and scrambled in to the room, Dumbledore followed.  
  
"Dumbledore!" the nurse-witch scolded, "Nobody is supposed to be back here!"  
  
"Make and exception Naji," Dumbledore said sternly. He nodded at Lily and she rushed over to James's bed. His eyes were closed, and a sweat had broken out on his forehead. Lily's heart swelled as she saw his chest rising and falling. She clutched his hand.  
  
"You're alive, I knew you could do it," she whispered the tears still came.  
  
Suddenly James squeezed her hand back, and Lily was filled with warmth. 


	19. Learning To Be Friends

James had to remain in the hospital for the next few days. His wrists were healing fine, but the Healers and Dumbledore insisted he stay for a few more nights to observe his condition. He was moved into a normal room. Remus, Sirius, Peter and Lily didn't leave James's side. James had remained unconscious for the whole night while the others slept idly around him. Sirius had been overjoyed to hear that James was still alive, but he still hadn't said a word to Lily. She had tried to make eye contact with him but he refused to look at her.  
  
Lily was the last to fall asleep that night, as she watched the others silently. James was still breathing deeply. Sirius's head had fallen to one side. Peter had fallen over onto the end of James's bed and the chair he was sitting on was slowly slipping out from under him. Remus was snoring loudly and had his arm propped up on the chair arm and was using it to support his head.  
  
Lily reached out and grabbed on of James's wrists, examining the cuts on his arm. They had already begun to heal over, as if they skipped the scabbing process. The cuts were nothing but mere red lines now. She glanced over at Sirius, and then back at James. She let out a sigh, her life was soo complicated. Lily dropped James's wrist as he groaned. Was he conscious? Lily stared at him for quite some time, he didn't stir again. Slowly sleep drew over her, and her eyelids were forced shut.  
  
A loud wail filled Lily's mind. She looked down and realized she was clutching a baby. He was crying loudly squirming underneath the purple blanket that had been wrapped around him. His eyes were pinched shut and his little hands were made into balls as he screamed. Not knowing what else to do Lily stroked the baby's hair trying to calm it. His black messy hair was extremely sweaty. Lily felt herself backing up. She was standing in a large bedroom. The baby's crib was feet away from her. She could hear muffled yells coming from outside of the room. Light was issuing from the cracks of the closed door. Lily heard herself whisper,  
  
"Harry, shh, it's okay,"  
  
Was that the baby's name. Suddenly a familiar green light surrounded the door, as Lily's mouth dropped in horror. She heard the thud of a body. Her legs forced her to back up as her arms held the baby even closer.  
  
"Lily where are you?" A horrible voice cried out.  
  
Lily continued backing up. What's going on? She thought very confused.  
  
"Your little husband is dead, put up a good fight though I daresay,"  
  
Her throat issued a gasp, as she tripped over a stool and fell to the floor. Harry let out another cry. The handle began to turn, Lily held Harry closer. The door opened revealing the most terrible looking man Lily had ever seen.  
  
"Lily?" somebody was calling her. She rubbed her eyes.  
  
"What time is it?" She asked groggily.  
  
"I don't know?" That voice, it was...  
  
"JAMES!" Lily cried suddenly feeling very awake.  
  
He smiled at her, "I just woke up,"  
  
Lily grinned back, feeling a bit awkward. She hastily glanced at her watch.  
  
"Its 7:15," Lily whispered, "You must be hungry,"  
  
"7:15?" he asked staring at her with his big hazel eyes.  
  
"In the morning," Lily said getting up and averting her eyes from his, "I'll go get you something to eat,"  
  
With that she got up and began looking for the cafeteria. As she walked down the lonesome hall following the signs that lead to the Cafeteria, Lily noticed the paintings of Former Healers that littered the wall. All of them seemed to be sleeping. Lily rounded a corner and came to the cafeteria. She got out a few sickles and bought James a hearty breakfast of World Cup Quidditch cereal (players, snitches and quaffles that all moved around in your bowl) and some pumpkin juice.  
  
She paid the witch at the counter and carried the tray back the way she came from.  
  
When made it to James's room she heard Sirius's voice from inside. She peered through the glass window. Peter was no where to be seen. Sirius and Remus were on either side of the bed, and they were all clutching onto each other. Lily didn't want to intrude so she watched silently.  
  
"You know we are always here for you mate?" Sirius croaked, "When I thought you were dead..." and Lily watched surprised as tears dripped freely from Sirius's cheeks.  
  
"I-I'm so-so s-sorry," James said, his own tears falling from his eyes, "I just wanted to be with my family,"  
  
"James!" Remus cried, "We are you're family, Sirius and I, You are our brother, you know that,"  
  
"I know...I just...I'm soo glad I have friends like you," James let out. Remus clapped his hand on James shoulder and drew him close. Sirius followed suit and the three boys embraced, each other crying softly into the others shoulder.  
  
"I will always be here for you James," Remus said quietly wiping his eyes.  
  
"We will always be your brothers, no matter what," Sirius promised.  
  
James looked up at them with shinning eyes.  
  
"Good morning," Lily said walking in, smiling as Remus and Sirius turned their backs to her wiping there eyes quickly. James however, did nothing.  
  
"Are you okay James?" Lily asked placing the tray down in front of him, "What did these boys do to you now?" she joked.  
  
He smiled,  
  
"Hey is that Quidditch World Cup cereal?" Remus asked excitedly, and Lily rolled her eyes as all the boys began talking about Quidditch.  
  
Lily, Sirius, Peter and Remus had all made their way back to the Lupin's for lunch and a quiet afternoon. Mrs. Lupin who had shown up at the hospital insisted that they all go home and have some time to themselves and let James rest. Lily spent her afternoon curled up by the fireplace in her room reading a book. She was really stressed out, what with James, Sirius, her visions, and her family. She thought hard about the dream she had had last night. It made absolutely no sense to her. Was that her she was envisioning or was it somebody else?  
  
"Lily?" Mrs. Lupin called up to her.  
  
"Yes?" Lily asked making her way down the stairs. She had grown rather fond of Mrs. Lupin.  
  
"The boys are out flying on those ridiculous brooms of theirs, would you mind taking James his supper?" Mrs. Lupin asked holding out a steaming plate.  
  
"Sure," Lily smiled, "Just let me grab my cloak.  
  
Lily threw on her cloak hastily and grabbed the dish. She made her way to the Living Room fireplace and grabbed some floo powder.  
  
"ST MUNGOS!" she yelled as the green flames engulfed her.  
  
When she got out at the hospital she made it up to the third floor where James's room was and walked across the waiting room.  
  
"Hey," she smiled at James who was reading a broom catalogue.  
  
"Hi," he replied putting down the catalogue and looking hungrily at the plate Lily was holding. She smiled handing it to him. She sat down in the chair beside him watching him eat it.  
  
"That was really good, send my compliment to the chef," James grinned.  
  
"So you're feeling okay?" Lily asked playing with her hands.  
  
"Yea, I'm feeling much better," James told her, "Thank you Lily,"  
  
"For what?" she asked looking surprised.  
  
"For saving me," he whispered.  
  
"What are you talking about?" She cried.  
  
"When-" he stopped, "You are going to think I am insane,"  
  
"Go on," she insisted.  
  
"Well when I was lying on the table, dying, I could hear your voice inside me head."  
  
She screwed up her face pretending to look confused.  
  
"You saved me," James explained.  
  
"James, are you sure your mind just wanted you to hear those words? Are you sure you just didn't want to die?" Lily asked.  
  
"But it was your voice," James said looking a little disappointed.  
  
"Look, James," Lily said glancing at her watch, "I better head back,"  
  
"Lily I know you think I am insane, but I swear to you it was your voice,"  
  
"I don't think you are insane James, but I didn't save you, you saved yourself," Lily replied standing up.  
  
"Lily?"  
  
"Mmm?"  
  
"I am sorry," James apologized, "I am sorry I got angry with you last Christmas when you told me about your...you know, and I am sorry I got angry with you for seeing my parents..."  
  
"James it okay," Lily interrupted him.  
  
"I am sorry for being a jerk, and showing off around you,"  
  
"James Please," Lily protested.  
  
"No, I was just trying to impress you, although it didn't work," he explained," You know when I first saw you I told Remus you were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I thought maybe you were Hogwarts person Angel or something,"  
  
Lily blushed as James took her hand.  
  
"You weren't like the other girls, it was something about you, your mind, your eyes, you have stunning eyes, they made my heart leap into my throat every time I caught them in the Great Hall, I knew that I was somehow connected to you,"  
  
"James, I...Sirius," Lily couldn't finish.  
  
"I know, I know he loves you, and I know you love him, and I am really happy for him, I just wanted to let you know how I felt."  
  
She looked down at him awkwardly,  
  
"James I gotta go," she said again. He nodded. She gathered her cloak and made her way to the door. As she opened it James piped up,  
  
"Lily?"  
  
She closed her eyes and turned around,  
  
"Friends?" he asked.  
  
"Of course!" She grinned happily at him and left.  
  
Outside the door Professor Dumbledore was waiting.  
  
"Ah, Miss Evans," Dumbledore smiled through his long white beard.  
  
"Professor?"  
  
"I just wanted to congratulate you on your success yesterday evening."  
  
"He saved himself," Lily muttered.  
  
"Ah, but you did help him out of it, Death is a tricky thing to get out of Miss Evans let me tell you,"  
  
"You've been there before?" She asked.  
  
"Many times, but anyway, James is saved, and it now seems that you can enter others minds."  
  
"You already know that," She reminded him.  
  
"Yes, but I mean physically, you can place your physical form into another's mind," Dumbledore explained surveying her through his half moon spectacles, "The mind owner would only see you as a fragment of a dream, not reality, but still it is very effective,"  
  
"Professor, why did Voldemort murder the Potters," Lily asked.  
  
"I can not discuss that with you right now, but you might know in time," Dumbledore answered.  
  
Lily didn't reply.  
  
"So how are Mr. Lupin and Mr. Black taking this?" Dumbledore asked changing the subject.  
  
"Fine I think," Lily muttered.  
  
"Sirius will get over it Lily," Dumbledore consoled her.  
  
She looked up at him," I should be going,"  
  
"When James gets out of the hospital keep a close eye on him okay?" Dumbledore asked.  
  
"Of course,"  
  
"And make sure you write to me of any dreams," Dumbledore reminded.  
  
"Well I had one last night, I was holding a baby, named Harry, I was married, and I think I was hiding in a bedroom, I was scared of whatever was happening. I am not sure if it was someone else's future I was envisioning or my own, but either way I can't make sense of it," Lily told him.  
  
"It was your future," Dumbledore whispered.  
  
"You know?" Lily asked nearly dropping Mrs. Lupins plate.  
  
"I have Seen it myself," Dumbledore said, "Well, off you go," he replied pushing her towards the fireplace.  
  
"Right," Lily muttered grabbing a pinch of floo powder and heading back to the Lupins.  
  
As the green flames surrounded Lily, Dumbledore let out a sigh, glancing at James, who was reading the catalogue again,  
  
"And so it begins," Dumbledore muttered. 


	20. The Fight

When Lily arrived back at the Lupins' the house was dark. She stood there for a moment thinking about what James had said. She let out a sigh. She tiptoed through the kitchen and was about to make her way up stairs when a gruff voice interupted her.  
  
"Lily," Sirius called.  
  
She spun around, having totally missed him. Sirius was sitting alone at the kitchen table. He looked up at her with his deep eyes, the ones that drove Lily wild. She stared at him for a moment, thinking back on what he had said the night before.  
  
"Yes Sirius?" she asked when he didn't say anything.  
  
"I - uh," he stuttered, "Would you come sit down?"  
  
Lily walked forward and pulled out a wooden chair. She sat down with a long sigh.  
  
"I'm sorry, for what I said," Sirius whispered not looking at her.  
  
"Yea..." Lily trailed.  
  
"Really I am," he insisted.  
  
"Do you really think I am Satan?" Lily asked looking down.  
  
"No, I didn't mean to say that, I was just so angry, because I thought my best friend died."  
  
"So what every time you get angry you're going to say I'm the devil?" Lily asked him her voice rising.  
  
"Lily no, try to understand the pressure I was under," Sirius told her.  
  
"The pressure-" she broke off with a fake laugh, "The pressure YOU were under. I saw these people die, but NO PRESSURE THERE! Oh please Sirius. Do you forget that I am the one who gets to see all these nice things, do you forget I am the one who doesn't even know who the fuck my dad is? Oh wait never mind, you do, because you want a NORMAL girlfriend, well sorry for not being a cut above the rest, maybe I should just stop dreaming, OH WAIT I CANT!"  
  
"Lily please," Sirius pleaded, "Calm down, you know I didn't mean any of that,"  
  
"I CAN"T CALM DOWN!" she screamed, "Everything has to happen to me, three people are already dead because of me, and one tried to kill himself and its all my fault, and you think I am the devil, and you resent me as a girlfriend."  
  
"I don't resent you,"  
  
"You said you wanted a normal girlfriend!" Lily yelled, "So why don't you just do it, break up with me, you know I am starting to think James had a good idea,"  
  
"Lily!" Sirius cried, "I didn't mean any of that, I swear, doesn't this mean anything to you?" he taking her hand and fingering the ring on her hand.  
  
"Sirius I don't care about rings, I just care about you," she whispered.  
  
"I care about you to, and I really am sorry," he said stroking her cheek.  
  
"I'm sorry I'm not normal," she sniffed as tears came out of her eyes, "God alls I have been doing is crying!"  
  
"Lily," Sirius said pulling her chair closer and wrapping his arms around her, "You are perfect the way you are, I love you,"  
  
"Sirius-" but he cut her off with a sweet kiss.  
  
James returned home the next day, and just in time. He was on strict orders to take it easy, but the Quidditch cup was just a day away. He smiled at Lily ever so often, and when she caught his smile a grin filled her beautiful face. She and Sirius had seemed to have patched things up. The boys all talked about Quidditch non-stop and Lily rolled her eyes at all of them. She seemed to have grown to be a part of the family, James's family; which he was so glad to have. He, Sirius and Remus seemed to have become even closer, and Remus was quite impressed with James's change in his actions towards Lily. She finally accepted him even if it was only as friends. He felt lucky to take whatever it was he could get.  
  
The day of the Quidditch World Cup, Sirius, Lily, James, Remus and Peter all made the exciting trip to the stadium which was hidden just a few blocks away. It was charmed so that no muggle could detect it, even though the streets were flooded with wizards, who were trying there best to look mugglish. Lily laughed at an old man where a guarder and some lingerie, and Sirius reached over and whispered,  
  
"I wish you had that on instead of him,"  
  
Lily slapped him playfully. When they finally arrived at the stadium and made it to there seats Remus sat down and asked,  
  
"Hey Lily, any predictions on who's going to win?"  
  
"REMUS!" she cried.  
  
They all laughed,  
  
"Hey, as long as you're going to be our friend, you should call us by our nicknames," Remus suggested. James nodded in agreement.  
  
"Yea," said Sirius, "James here is Prongs, Remus is...wait, you already know,"  
  
Lily blushed deeply, but the others smiled as the announcer began to announce the two teams.  
  
When the game was finally over Britain had won by 250 points. The boys and even Lily were in good spirits. They made a loud entrance at the Lupins' and sat up all night celebrating. They drank Butter beer and talked about the upcoming school year. At two am Mrs. Lupin came down stairs and scolded them. She reminded them that they had to get up early the next day and head to Diagon Alley. Remus got up stretching,  
  
"Well goodnight all,"  
  
Peter followed nodding at his friends in dismissal.  
  
James stood with a sigh and grinned at his two remaining friends.  
  
"Goodnight Padfoot," he glanced at Lily, "have fun," he smiled mischievously. Lily blushed and smacked him playfully as he walked by making his way towards the stairs.  
  
"Finally," Sirius smiled pulling Lily towards him on the couch they were sitting on in front of a stone fireplace.  
  
"I am glad we're not angry at each other anymore," Lily sighed sitting in his lap contentedly. She smiled as Sirius's breath blew through her hair tickling her scalp and neck.  
  
"I wanna be like this forever," Sirius whispered.  
  
Lily turned herself around and kissed him hard. He seemed surprised but responded. Lily let her hands get entangled in his shaggy black hair. He broke away smiling,  
  
"I love it when you do that,"  
  
Lily could feel his hands exploring underneath her shirt. His fingers were slowly escalating up her sides. She kissed him again. His fingers met her bra and in one swift movement he was underneath that. She moaned softly as he caressed her breasts.  
  
"Sirius, Lily!" Mrs. Lupin called from the stairs. They pulled apart from each other.  
  
Blushing furiously Lily whispered, "Maybe we should go to bed,"  
  
"Yea," Sirius smiled standing up and offering a hand. Together hand in hand they made there way up the stairs.  
  
The book list for the seventh year was quite extensive, especially seeing all of them had eight NEWT classes each. After an hour at Flourish and Blots, Lily excused herself from the boys and made her way to Madam Malkins Robes for special occasions. She had decided to buy herself some new dress robes for the seventh year, especially since her letter had contained a Head Girl badge. She hadn't told anyone yet but smiled as she pictured everyone's reaction. She was planning on telling them in two days right before they boarded the Hogwarts Express. She wondered who the Head Boy would be. The boys had found their way to the Quidditch store. Lily wasn't surprised when she met them again, seeing James caring a large bag full of new Quidditch supplies. She wasn't the least surprised either when she noticed Peter and Sirius carrying large bags from the jokes shops. They made their way to the Leaky Cauldron and sat down in front of Tom the bartender asking for Butter beers the whole way round. Lily smiled as she sat with the boys, and noticed Alice sitting in the back of the room with Frank Longbottom, and she grinned even wider when she noticed a diamond ring on Alice's right finger.  
  
"Sirius," she nudged him, and pointed. He followed her finger and smiled broadly.  
  
"That will be us soon enough Lily," he whispered kissing her ear.  
  
Lily reached for his hand under the table and began to listen to Peter and James make fun of Remus, laughing gaily as her life finally took a turn for the better. 


	21. School Again

The Hogwarts Express's red coat of paint was gleaming in the sunlight when James, Lily, Sirius, Remus and Peter arrived on platform 9 and 3/4 on the sunny day of September the first. They all ran down the corridors happily greeting friends, and looking for a compartment. When they finally found an empty one James was nowhere to be found so Sirius, Lily Remus and Peter piled in. Lily was resting against Sirius's warm chest and watching Rems read their new Standard Spell book when a sudden thought occurred to her. She was Head Girl!  
  
"Oh!" she cried sitting up straight.  
  
"What's wrong?" Sirius asked looking at her, Remus and Peter had also looked over at her.  
  
"I forgot!" she smiled getting up and reaching into her pocket for a silver and gold badge.  
  
"You're Head Girl?" Sirius cried standing up.  
  
She beamed at him and nodded.  
  
"HAHA!" he laughed throwing his arms around her and lifting her off the ground in a tight hug. Remus and Peter both laughed and congratulated her.  
  
"Well I have to head up to the front of the train," she began.  
  
"My Lily is Head Girl," Sirius smiled.  
  
"And you boys better be on the best of behavior or else!" she warned. She turned to Sirius, "Except for maybe you," she kissed his lips, "I'll be back soon, don't forget to rub it into James whenever he shows up."  
  
James was fingering the plush couch in the Head Boy/Girl compartment in awe. Never before had he seen such a wonderfully luxurious train compartment. He hadn't been in the mood to celebrate when his Head Boy badge had arrived at the Lupins' for him. He'd almost forgotten until today when he'd passed this compartment. The news would have been more of shock if he hadn't have been grieving his parents. He didn't understand why Remus wasn't chosen. James hadn't even been a prefect. James was constantly breaking the rules. It made no sense. He wondered who the Head Girl might be and where she was. The train was due to leave any minute.  
  
James sat down. He thought of how he longed that he had his broom and new broom servicing kit with him, for something to do. As if the room had read his thoughts his broom and servicing kit appeared on the table before him. He smiled picking up the broom. That was pretty cool. He closed his eyes and thought of a triple fudge sundae. Sure enough when he opened them a large fudge sundae was sitting in front of him. He reached for the sundae when the door to the compartment opened and closed so fast that James nearly jumped out of his skin. The sundae fell onto his broom.  
  
"AHH!" he cried, looking down at the sticky mess on his broom handle.  
  
"James?" a girl questioned.  
  
He looked up, and his mouth fell open.  
  
"James?" Lily questioned as she entered the Head Boy/Girl Compartment. There sitting on a very plush couch was James holding his broom and looking at a large fudgey mess that was all over the handle. He looked up. His mouth fell open.  
  
"You...you're the Head Girl?" he asked.  
  
"You're the Head Boy?" she asked.  
  
They stared at each other for a few more moments and then burst out laughing.  
  
"Here let me help you," she laughed, "Scourjify!"  
  
The mess on his broom handle vanished.  
  
"So how come you didn't tell me?" James asked.  
  
"I wanted to rub it in your face, but obviously I can't now," Lily frowned, "Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
"I forgot," James looked away, not wanting to deal with questions about recent events,  
  
"Hey!" his face brightened, "You know this room is really cool, think of something you really want!"  
  
She looked at him scrunching up her eyebrows.  
  
"Go on," he insisted.  
  
Lily closed her eyes, feeling the familiar sensation of entering another's mind,  
  
"Sirius," she whispered.  
  
"Yea, I really love her," he was saying, as he sat their on the empty chair in the fog. He made an odd face for a second, "You know Moony," he kept talking, "I think I might ask her to marry me,"  
  
A smile filled his face.  
  
"So that's what you wanted!" James laughed pulling Lily back to reality. She glanced at him and sitting beside him was a very disturbed looking Sirius.  
  
"Sirius?" she questioned.  
  
"See this room brings you whatever you want most!" James told her still laughing. Sirius reached over and slugged James.  
  
"Hey!" he protested. The two boys began wrestling.  
  
"Ugh!" Lily smiled, "I'm going back to the other compartment to read with Remus!" she shouted over the commotion. The boys didn't notice her leave.  
  
When the train arrived at Hogwarts James and Lily pinned their badges on their robes proudly and made their way outside. A special carriage was waiting to take them to the school. James helped Lily in, and they made their way to the entrance way of the castle. Dumbledore was waiting to greet them and he smiled down at them both, along with Professor McGonagall.  
  
"Professors," James greeted them as he made his way up the front stairs.  
  
"Mr. Potter," Dumbledore nodded stepping forward and holding out his hand. James took it and Dumbledore pulled him close patting him on the back.  
  
"Are you holding out okay?" he whispered.  
  
"Fine, thank-you," James said uncomfortably.  
  
"Your parents were fine people Potter," Professor McGonagall sniffed.  
  
"Thank-you Professor," James muttered.  
  
"So you two are Head Boy and Girl," Dumbledore smiled changing the awkward subject, "Congratulations. I am assuming you both know your roles? Assigning tasks to Prefects, organizing Hogsmede trips and all other school occasions?"  
  
They both nodded.  
  
"Good, do you have any further questions?"  
  
"Yea, why did you choice me?" James piped up.  
  
"You are a very good student James, with extraordinary talent, you are true to your friends and your house and I found you very suitable for this position," Dumbledore told him sternly, making James go bit red,  
  
"Now we make our way to the Great Hall," Dumbledore told them leading the way.  
  
The Great Hall was decorated normally, as houselves scurried around preparing for the feast. Student began filling in, and James and Lily took their seat at the head of the Gryffindor table. Soon Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Alice found their way to the head of the table as well patting the two Heads on the back. They were enjoying sharing their summer with Alice when Professor McGonagall came in leading a long line of nervous first years.  
  
"Were we that small when we first came here?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Shh!" Lily hushed him, "The Sorting is about to begin."  
  
Professor McGonagall placed the hat on its stool and it sang a new song causes a tremendous applause rise from the four house tables. Professor McGonagall began reading names from a long roll of Parchment. As each young witch and wizard sat down the house they belonged to was shouted out. The group cheered for all the new Gryffindors but quieted down while Dumbledore stood up.  
  
"As I am sure you are all aware, many deaths occurred this summer. Many families have been affected. I am afraid that Lord Voldemort-" many people cringed at this name, "is indeed getting stronger. I am afraid that dark days are ahead of us. The walls of Hogwarts however shall always remain safe as long as I am your Headmaster. Mr. Filtch our caretaker has posted a list of unruly items in every common room. To the First years, the forbidden forest is not to be entered at any cost unless accompanied by a teacher. Also please do not go near the Whomping willow as it will hurt you. I am pleased to inform you that this years Head Boy and Head Girl are James Potter and Lily Evans."  
  
A loud chorus of whoops and cheers arose from the hall, especially at the Gryffindor table.  
  
"This is the first year," Dumbledore continued, "In a while that the Heads have been from the same house," he smiled at them, "But now without further ado I give you SUPPER!"  
  
The golden plates in front of them filled with food, and the golden goblets with pumpkin juice. Lily clunked her goblet against her friends and then took a drink smiling at the beginning of a promising year.  
  
After the feast when Lily was making her way up to her knew room, Dumbledore came out of nowhere and pulled her to the side of the hall.  
  
"I would like you to come with me Miss Evans," he said walking away briskly.  
  
Lily chased after him, "Professor?"  
  
There was no reply. Lily gulped as Professor Dumbledore recited a password and began to climb the spiral staircase to his office. Lily had been in here many times before and she smiled at the soft hum of many silver and metal instruments that littered the table. The bookshelves that went around the room looked messier than ever.  
  
"Please sit down," he said waving his hand towards a chair which moved out from his desk allowing her to sit down. He made his way around the large desk and sat down.  
  
"Lily," he began, "I am pretty sure that you learned that George Evans isn't really your father this summer,"  
  
Lily nodded, looking confused.  
  
"Well I have done some research and I found out just who your father is."  
  
"Who?" Lily asked.  
  
Dumbledore didn't answer, instead he asked her of how James was doing.  
  
"He's fine, but Professor who is my father?"  
  
"Do you and James get along okay?" Dumbledore questioned.  
  
"Yes we are friends," she replied angrily, "Who is my father,"  
  
"Your worst enemy, you have seen him in your thoughts?" Dumbledore questioned/  
  
"My worst enemy? Well that would be Lord Voldemort, yes I have seen him and heard him many times why?"  
  
"Lily," Dumbledore let out a sigh, and suddenly she knew what he was trying to tell her.  
  
"He-he's my father?" She asked, feeling sick. 


	22. I Will do What I Must

Dumbledore leaned across his desk and nodded silently.  
  
"But, how is that possible?" Lily asked, "My mother, she is a muggle. I thought Lord Voldemort hated muggles?"  
  
"He does, but Lord Voldemort is muggle-born himself. His original name was Tom Marvolo Riddle and he attended Hogwarts many years ago. He killed his parents eighteen years ago, around the same time I figure he met your mother. He must of scared her, and she left and met George Evans before you were born. Tom hasn't always been as powerful as he is now, but when he went to Hogwarts he was an extremely gifted Slytherin, and had seeing abilities quite like your own, however not the your extent. I don't believe Tom, or Voldemort knows that he has a daughter, or that she is in Gryffindor, the thought would probably destroy him." Dumbledore explained.  
  
"But....doesn't that mean...shouldn't I be in Slytherin," she breathed.  
  
"The Sorting Hat Lily, doesn't look at your blood line, but rather your personality, For instance, look at your companion Mr. Black," Dumbledore replied, "His whole family has been in Slytherin, but he was chosen for Gryffindor."  
  
Lily looked away from the old wizards grey-blue eyes and pushed her chair away from the desk.  
  
"I should head back to my dormitory, Sirius and James will be wondering where I am," she whispered quietly, standing.  
  
"Lily," Dumbledore gestured for he to sit back down, "I am not finished."  
  
"Professor please, haven't I taken in enough?" Lily questioned.  
  
He shook his head pointing at the chair. She sat down with a small groan.  
  
"You remember the dream you've been having," Dumbledore began, "the one we were discussing the other day?"  
  
Lily nodded, remember the small baby she'd been clutching.  
  
"Well, remember when I told you that we can't change the events of the future directly but we can change the events leading to them, so that the future is indirectly changed?" Dumbledore asked,  
  
"Your dreams were trying to tell you how you needed to change in order for the events of the future not to happen,"  
  
"What are the events of the future?" Lily asked.  
  
"Voldemort plans on taking over the world, and killing all those who do not follow him," Dumbledore told her.  
  
"And what does that have to do with me?" Lily asked.  
  
"Well your dream was showing you how you needed to change," Dumbledore explained.  
  
"By having a baby?" She asked astonished.  
  
"No I don't think so, I have also seen this dream, and Lily, you were married."  
  
She nodded, "I know, so I have to get married and have a child with Sirius,"  
  
Dumbledore bowed his head and Lily frowned.  
  
"I cannot believe I am about to ask you this, but I must Lily, please forgive me," he sighed looking up at her again, "Lily I must ask you to leave Sirius-"  
  
"You are insane!" Lily yelled, "You bring me here, tell me my father is a psychopathic murderer who just murdered James's family and now you're telling me to leave my boyfriend?"  
  
"Lily I understand this is coming as a surprise to you, but please let me finish, you must leave Sirius Black, and be with James Potter."  
  
Lily looked at Dumbledore with her fierce green eyes and tried to understand what he was saying. Was this some sick joke? Another way that James was trying to get with her possibly?  
  
"Professor?" Lily began.  
  
"Lily, look, Voldemort is after him, he already tried to get rid of all the Potters, but whoever he got his information from was unreliable,"  
  
"But why does he want James dead?" Lily asked.  
  
"The Potters come from a long line of Gryffindors," he gave her a significant look. When she didn't reply he answered, "The Potter family is the heir of Godric Gryffindor; James is the last remaining Potter."  
  
"Tom was in Slytherin," Lily muttered using her critical thinking, "He was the heir of Slytherin?"  
  
"Right, and so naturally, the only person who has a chance to defeat him is his rival, Gryffindor."  
  
"James?" Lily looked up.  
  
"I don't think that you will see Voldemort's downfall in your lifetime Lily,"  
  
"The baby," She whispered, "James must have a child to carry his blood, the dream..." She looked up at him wildly, "Sir?"  
  
"James must carry his blood to another before Voldemort finds him," Dumbledore confirmed.  
  
"But why me? Why do I have to be with James? Couldn't some other girl do it?" Lily protested.  
  
"James's child will play a huge part in defeating Voldemort, he needs your strength Lily, he needs your seeing ability, and he also needs Voldemort's blood."  
  
Lily shook her head, "I am sorry sir, but I can't, I just couldn't. I can't leave Sirius I love him, and I can't be with James, I don't have feelings for him."  
  
"Lily I know this isn't fair, but I must ask you to do this," Dumbledore begged, "We are talking about the survival of mankind,"  
  
Lily shook her head, tears forming in her eyes, "How can you ask me to give up the one person I love, the one person who makes sense to me?"  
  
"This is what you were meant to do," Dumbledore mumbled, "Please,"  
  
Lily knew what she had to do, she knew she had to say yes. She fell forward tears pouring down her cheeks, "I love him," She whispered, "We were going to be married,"  
  
"Lily, I am sorry," Dumbledore reached out and touched her shoulder.  
  
"How long do I have with him?" She whispered wiping her tears on the sleave of her robes.  
  
"Lily..."  
  
"How long Professor," she repeated firmly.  
  
"There is not much time; you need to end it with Sirius...tonight if possible." Dumbledore muttered.  
  
"Tonight?" Tears came to her eyes again. She'd have no time to explain, she'd have to time to pretend like something was wrong so she could ease into the breakup.  
  
"Lily, if you are accepting, then you can take this," he held out a peculiar looking hourglass, "This is a Time-Turner, you can explain everything to Sirius, for your sake, then you must modify his memory so that he has no memory of the relationship you shared. You put his hand on this, and turn it twenty six times, he will be sent back a year ago, and have no memory of you. When you see the large circle waiting to take Sirius let go of the Time-Turner. He will live this year over, and many things will change, you're feelings will change, it will seem but seconds to you, when he passes you in the present you know it will be complete. Then you can start your relationship with James," Dumbledore explained.  
  
Lily took the Time-Turner and shoved it into her bag.  
  
"I will do what I must,"  
  
She got up saying no more and made for the door.  
  
"Lily," She turned around  
  
"Thank you," Dumbledore smiled weakly. She left, deciding to go for a nice long walk to think about what Dumbledore had said.  
  
A few hours later, when Lily was walking absent mindedly down a long dark corridor she heard somebody call her name.  
  
"Lily?" Sirius called. Lily closed her eyes, not ready to see him yet. She pictured his deep eyes and turned around.  
  
"Lily!" Sirius cried spotting her, "Where have you been, James came and found me and told me that you didn't show up in the Head dormitory," he told her as her ran forward. When he arrived infront of her, she stared at the ground.  
  
"I bet the dormitory is really cool, like the train," Sirius beamed, "I am proud of you, you know?"  
  
There was no answer.  
  
"Lily?" he questioned, his hand making their way to her arms, "You're cold;"  
  
He rubbed her arms and stared at her.  
  
"Lily what's wrong?" he moved a finger to her chin and forced her to lookat him. Her tear filled eyes closed as they fell upon his worried face.  
  
"Lily why aren't you talking?" His voice rose, "Is everything okay?"  
  
Lily's calm face broke, and her lower lip began to tremble. She opened her eyes and stared into his as they began to fill with tears once more.  
  
"Why are you always crying?" he asked her, "Please tell me what is wrong,"  
  
She pulled him close longing to feel his body for one last time. She clutched onto his robes urgently placing her head on his chest. As soon as he began rubbing her back soothingly, she burst. She sobbed more wildly than she ever had.  
  
"Lily?" he cried again, "Please,"  
  
She pulled away from him, letting her hands get tangled in his hair. She looked up at him with fearful eyes.  
  
"Sirius," she whispered, tears still sliding down her cheeks. He stared at her a minute more, and realization seemed to wash over him.  
  
"Lily?" he gulped, "Are we breaking up?" 


	23. I Guess This Is Goodbye

Sirius's lower lip began to tremble as he looked down at Lily. Why was she doing this to him? Hadn't he shown her his love? Had he not proven to her? She looked up at him with her big green eyes.  
  
"Sirius, no never," She whispered moving her hands from his hair and stroking his cheek lovingly, "I promised you we would be together forever remember?"  
  
Sirius smiled, "Yes I do,"  
  
"I promise, you will never leave my heart," she whispered leaning forward and leaning her forehead on his chin.  
  
Sirius reached down and grabbed both of her hands in his,  
  
"What's wrong then Lily?" Sirius asked her.  
  
"I-I have to save Harry," Lily whispered not looking at him, her eyes full of tears.  
  
"Who's Harry?" Sirius spat angrily.  
  
"My child," She whispered, "James's child."  
  
"You and James have a child?" Sirius yelled pushing her away.  
  
"No, but we will, look Sirius listen to me please," Lily pleaded wringing her hands.  
  
"Lily, what are you saying?" Sirius asked violently.  
  
"If you would just listen you would know!" She shouted back. His face filled with anger but after a moment that placid look returned.  
  
"I am listening," he muttered.  
  
"Voldemort is my father," Sirius opened his mouth to protest but she put a finger to his lips, "James is the heir of Gryffindor, and I must be with him, it is the only way to save mankind, the only way to save us, If I don't do this, me and you will be dead before we even got the chance to marry,"  
  
"I don't get it!" Sirius yelled but his voice caught as he chocked back a sob, "Lily, you are leaving me for my best friend? To save mankind? What the hell are you talking about?"  
  
"Lord Voldemort is after James because he is the heir of Gryffindor, and he must have a son to carry on his blood, and that son will be the only one who can defeat Voldemort and save the world from perishing under his malice, don't you see Sirius?"  
  
"But why you," he whispered running his hands through her rich red hair.  
  
" Harry needs Voldemort's blood," Lily told him, "And my gift must be passed on, that horrible gift Sirius, its torn apart families and now its tearing us apart,"  
  
"I need you," Sirius whispered as rested his forehead on hers and his tears fell to her cheeks, "Please don't leave me this way,"  
  
"Sirius," she wept, "I have to, I really don't want to, I love you so much,"  
  
"Don't leave," he whispered.  
  
She blinked many times and reached into her bag pulling out the Time- Turner.  
  
"How am I going to endure seeing you with James, "he whispered kissing her forehead.  
  
"You won't have to," Lily explained bringing her lips by his, but he pulled away.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I am going to modify you're memory so that you can't remember we ever existed, and then send you back in time to before you ever started talking to me," Lily replied.  
  
"I don't want to loose memory of what we have, I don't want you away from my mind," Sirius sobbed.  
  
"I will always be in you're heart," Lily told him, "And I promise you that is where we will be together, even though I will be with James, It will always be you I love,"  
  
"I don't want James to touch you, I don't want him to love you the way I do,"  
  
"He never will," Lily comforted, "Can I please kiss you, just one more time."  
  
Sirius blinked back his tears and lowered his trembling lips onto her cold ones. She kissed him with every emotion that ran through her, caressing his skin. It was a slow and tender kiss, and neither of them wanted to end it, because ending it would be ending them. Sirius deepened the kiss wrapping his arms around her tightly, as she let her hands trace up his neck and get entangled in his hair. When Sirius finally pulled away, Lily gasped with fresh tears. She looked up at the ceiling trying to calm her self.  
  
"Lily," he whispered as she pulled her wand out of her robes. His deep eyes that drove her wild bore into hers.  
  
"Sirius," she whispered back, touching his face for one last time. She pointed her wand at him closing her eyes. She felt the familiar whirl, and he heart beating in her ears.  
  
"I love you Lily Evans," Sirius's voice filled her thoughts.  
  
"Forever," Lily promised her eyes springing open to reveal a frightened looking Sirius.  
  
"Stupefy!" She cried. Sirius caught her eyes for a split second before the spell hit him, and Lily felt her heart break. When Sirius crumpled to the ground, Lily fell down beside him crying into his chest.  
  
"I had to do that," she whispered to him kissing his pale lips and smoothing out his hair, "You can't remember me sending you back in time."  
  
She pointed her wand at him again and wept  
  
"This guess this is goodbye,"  
  
Then she erased all memory of their love from his mind. Sitting the hall beside him she slipped the promise ring off her finger, enlarged it and slipped it on his hand. She placed his hand on the time turner and slowly turned the hourglass twenty-six times before jumping back from him. A large black whole had opened beside them, and her robes blew around her as he was transported back in time. She closed her eyes leaning against the wall and sank down it slowly her wails filling the hall. An odd feeling came over her. It was only a few moments before she heard four lively voices from the end of the hall. She wiped her tears hastily and busied herself by looking at a large portrait of a wizard.  
  
"What would Dumbledore want with us?" Peter's small voice echoed.  
  
"You don't think he noticed that you guys weren't in class last week during the full moon?" Remus asked worriedly.  
  
"Nah, Sirius's vomiting was really impressive this time, and I pretended I was still injured from the quidditch match," James told him. Lily turned her back to them as they walked by not noticing her.  
  
"Hey Evans," Sirius's voice boomed down the hall. Lily froze, but turned around calmly.  
  
"Yes Mr. Black?"  
  
"You know you look almost normal without that long nose of yours pressed into a book," he smiled cruelly, the devilish glint that was hanging in his eyes danced. Remus and Peter choked back laughter, but James stepped forward.  
  
"You know Padfoot, I wouldn't mess with her," he tugged on his robes.  
  
Lily looked at Sirius a moment longer before the crack in her heart completed breaking and she ran away sobbing.  
  
"Well done Sirius," Remus patted him on the arm, as the four finished making thier way to Dumbledore's office.  
  
Nobody noticed, but James kept looking back at the fiery red head that had run away wondering whether she was going to be okay or not.  
  
I'm so tired of being here  
  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
  
And if you have to leave  
  
I wish that you would just leave  
  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
  
And it won't leave me alone  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have  
  
All of me  
  
You used to captivate me  
  
By your resonating life  
  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
  
Your face it haunts  
  
My once pleasant dreams  
  
Your voice it chased away  
  
All the sanity in me  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have  
  
All of me  
  
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
  
But though you're still with me  
  
I've been alone all along  
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have  
  
All of me  
  
-Evanesance 


	24. Broken Without You

James sat silently with the rest of the Marauders. Remus and Peter were bickering over their chessboard while the pieces grew angry at their masters. Sirius was sitting beside James on the comfy couch grinning broadly hoping to attract the attention of some girls sitting across the room. James was playing with a snitch in his pocket going over the events of the past day in his head. It was true that James had given up on bugging Lily at the beginning of the sixth year, but only because she'd finally lost her temper and hexed the shit out of him. He still thought of her frequently, remembering the first time he'd rested his eyes on her. In truth he thought of her more now than ever. His friends still heard about her but all-in-all he left her alone with her books. Sirius had immediately taken over because Lily always flirted back, but soon Sirius got bored with her and they both turned sour. Normally Lily had awful things to say to the Marauders, especially Sirius, but yesterday, on their way to Dumbledore's office when he said that rude comment, she stared at him. James had watched her unusually dull eyes fill with realization as she stuttered unable to speak. He'd watched her eyes fill with tears before she dashed away. James spent more then one third of his time at Hogwarts watching Lily, as freaky as that sounds but he was so intrigued by her, and never before had he seen her cry.  
  
"Hey," Sirius whispered nudging James out of his thoughts, "Check this out,"  
  
He grinned broadly at James as James looked up to see Mirinda Mincent, a super hot blonde seventh year walking towards them. She walked right up to Sirius and reached down grabbing his tie and pulling him up towards him. With a wink Sirius walked off his drool practically falling off his chin. James looked back at Lily as she shifted on her chair and quickly looked down at her book. Had she been looking at him? James caught her eye again as she looked up and over at him brushing her hair behind one ear. He let out a sigh as Peters queen stabbed at Remus's rook.  
  
Lily buried her nose in a book like she normally did when something was wrong. Over the past months Sirius had become her escape but now her books were back. She stared at the page for a while longer before she glanced over at the Marauders corner. Sirius was sitting on their couch beside James who was deep in though. Sirius was grinning, the grin that made her heart melt. It had only been a day without him and she couldn't stand it. She was so used to his touch, his whisper, his kiss. She followed his gaze and realized it was set on a few girls who's dress shirts were unbuttoned a little too low, and were giggling very flirtatiously. She had half a mind to go over and yell at them for flirting with her man, but she couldn't. Alice was no where to be found, but when was she ever? The dark circles that hung around Lily's eyes showed her lack of sleep. She rubbed her finger where Sirius's promise ring had sat and then glanced back over at him. She could see it glinting on his hand in the light from the fireplace. She let out a sigh turning the page. She swallowed the sob that was aching in her throat. Movement caught her eye again and she looked up to see Mirinda Mincent, a super sluty fellow seventh year head towards The Marauders corner. She watched in horror as she reached down for Sirius's tie seductively and pulled him up towards him. Sirius needed a bucket to collect the drool that was dripping down his chin. Lily's large eyes looked away only to find James staring at her. She looked at him for a moment, thinking about the new relationship she had to start and then quickly looked down at her book. The page blurred with tears as she thought of how much affect the people around you must have. Look at the way Sirius was behaving, when he was with Lily he never acted like that. And it was true. Sirius was now walking around making fun of everyone he considered less than him, which was surprising to Lily, because she always figured he would sympathize since he was considered less at home. The sudden weight on the couch beside her made her look up from her book. James was sitting beside her.  
  
"Hey Evans," James smiled.  
  
"Hello, James." she replied without enthusiasm. He frowned slightly.  
  
"Look, I was just thinking about yesterday, you know? when we saw you in the hall by yourself?"  
  
"Yea what about it?" she said looking back to her book.  
  
"Well, you were different," James told her.  
  
Lily's stomach flopped.  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"I mean, you acted so weird, I've bugged you so many times before, and said way worse stuff about you, and I've never seen you speechless or seen you cry..." he trailed as she looked at him, "Is anything wrong?"  
  
"N-no," she whispered staring into his almond eyes. The problem with being with James wasn't that she wasn't attracted. She always had been, but her heart belonged with Sirius. James was searching her eyes, he didn't believe her, "Well, look James its pretty complicated, its a long story," she finished.  
  
"I've got time," he said leaning back.  
  
She let out a sigh closing her book,  
  
"I just found out this summer that my dad, really isn't my dad." She let out, "And so now I feel like I'm an orphan you know? I feel like I don't even know who I am, and I'm just a little emotional," she was relieved at how easy it was talking to him, even if she wasn't telling him the full truth.  
  
"That wasn't long," he commented. She snickered and rolled her eyes, "Hey I'm just kidding, that must be pretty tough. I guess I could relate though, my parents..." he faltered. Lily's eyes grew big; James's parents must have still died.  
  
"James you don't have to talk about them, I know it must be hard, with them gone and everything," She whispered.  
  
"H-how did you know that?" he asked scrunching up his eyebrows.  
  
"I just heard about it," she said taking a deep breath.  
  
"It wasn't made public," he told her.  
  
"Maybe I overhead someone then?" Lily whispered.  
  
James shook his head still staring at her confused, "Anyway it doesn't matter, the point is, I am an orphan,"  
  
"You've got you're friends, Sirius is a good friend." Lily commented, "They are like you're family."  
  
"You are right," He looked at her again, "They are."  
  
There was an awkward silence. James was a bit confused. It was like she knew him, more than he thought she did. It was bugging him, because when he had tried to kill himself over the summer he had sworn he'd heard his voice inside his head, but that was impossible. He stared at her a moment longer,  
  
"So are you okay?" they asked each other at the same time. James grinned at her, and Lily smiled slightly.  
  
"Yes I'm okay, just a little tired lately," she told him.  
  
"Me too, all this emotional stress," he laughed, but his face became serious once more, "Maybe you should go to bed Evans, you look horrible,"  
  
"Thank-you James," she said irritably.  
  
"I didn't mean it like that," he said truthfully as she stood up, "Do you need any help?"  
  
"No, I'm fine, goodnight." and with that she began to make her way towards the stairs that lead to the girls dormitory.  
  
"Hey Evans," James called. She turned, "Maybe you'd want to go to Hogsmede with me, and we can talk some more," he suggested.  
  
She laughed, "You never give up do you?" she asked him as he approached her once more.  
  
"I thought I did good for the last year and a half," James smiled lopsidedly. She looked at him inquisitively.  
  
"You know, leaving you alone, barely talking to you and all?" he asked.  
  
"Oh, right," she said going red, "I guess you have,"  
  
"Goodnight James." she said again.  
  
"Goodnight Evans," James replied watching her disappear up the stairs.  
  
While Lily lie in bed she thought about how James had sort of asked her out on a date, and how Hogsmede was the first place her and Sirius had gone. She wondered what Sirius was off doing right now, and she cringed at the thought of him touching somebody else.  
  
"I don't want him to love you like I do," Sirius had whispered the night before.  
  
"He can't" She'd told him, but now she wondered if Sirius was off loving some other girl the way he loved her. 'If he can even love at all,' she thought sadly reminding herself of his new personality. She turned over, but after five minutes of holding her eyes shut, she just couldn't sleep. She just kept repeating moments with Sirius over in her head. She tried to re piece her new history hoping to tire her brain. James's parents had still died. Lily was hoping that wouldn't have happened. James had left her alone for a year and a half. Wow. She was back to being the bookworm know it all. She smiled as she thought of Sirius in the library almost a year ago. But last years memories were different from him. In fact she was the only person in the world with them. She wondered as she remember the Time- Turner still in her bag if she couldn't just go back almost 18 years ago when her mother had slept with Voldemort and stopped her from doing so somehow. She let out a sigh. This was what happened the night before. Random thoughts: revolving around Sirius. She rolled over again smashing her face into the pillow. 'Maybe when I wake up,' she thought, 'My life will be a horrible bad dream,'  
  
You, you're everything I know  
  
I'm happy when I'm sad  
  
Through all the times we shared  
  
I never felt alone  
  
Now, I still can smell your skin  
  
I still can taste your kiss  
  
And that I'll always miss  
  
And everything we've ever been  
  
Now I'm broken... without you  
  
I'm broken, ... broken without you  
  
I'm broken, ... broken without you  
  
I cannot fall asleep  
  
Lying in my bed  
  
Spinning in my head  
  
Thinking how it used to be  
  
Now I'm broken... without you  
  
I'm broken, ... broken without you  
  
I'm broken, ... broken without you  
  
I'm sick of crying it's all I do  
  
Been counting days to just get through  
  
I'm trying to be strong but it's just no use  
  
I'm broken over you  
  
I'm broken, ... broken without you  
  
I'm broken, ... broken without you  
  
You, you're everything I know  
  
I still can taste your kiss  
  
And I'll always miss  
  
Everything you've ever been  
  
And I'm broken... without you  
  
-Angela Ammons 


	25. The Trouble with Being Head Girl

When Lily woke up in the morning her roommates were standing over her. Alice was clutching a shiny silver pin in her hand. Lily blinked, sitting up.  
  
"What?" She asked groggily.  
  
Alice held out the badge.  
  
"You're Head Girl Lily, so why have you been sleeping here the last two nights?"  
  
"Yea, I heard the Head Rooms are really cool!" said Jill, another one of her friends.  
  
"Plus," giggled Lavia the fourth roommate, and another one of Lily's good friends, "You share it with James Potter,"  
  
"Have you even been in the Head Dorm?" Alice asked folding her arms across her chest.  
  
Lily looked up at them, she'd totally forgotten that she was Head Girl. She snatched the badge out of Alice's grip hastily, pulling herself out of bed.  
  
"Why didn't you tell us you were Head Girl?" Jill questioned, making her bed with a flick of her wand.  
  
"I was so caught up...You know with Siri-" she stopped herself.  
  
"Sirius?" Alice asked, "Caught up with him how?"  
  
"You are with THE Sirius Black?" Lavia screamed.  
  
"No," Lily cried, "Look, I just woke up, I don't know what I am saying,"  
  
"So you do like him then?"  
  
"It was frustrating to know that her best friends had no idea what was going on with her, and never could know.  
  
"I guess," Lily muttered pulling on her uniform. She ran her brush through her red hair, "But he hates me doesn't he?" she asked hoping that the girls would feed her some of the memories she'd forgotten.  
  
"Well that's only because you cursed him and James out for almost killing Severus Snape, which I still don't understand that boy is a jerk!" Alice reminded her while tightening her tie.  
  
"I know," Lily sighed, even though she had no clue what Alice was talking about.  
  
"All the Marauders say you're beautiful Lily," Jill put in.  
  
Lily sighed grabbing her bag and head down to the Great Hall for breakfast.  
  
Her girlfriends sat down at there normal spot but Lily caught James's eye. He was sitting alone at the head of the table. As she walked closer she noticed the Head Boy badge, identical to her Head Girl badge resting on his chest. His messy hair fell forward as he leaned closer to the magazine lying on the table. He squinted, apparently trying to make something out while stuffing the spoon he was holding into his mouth. 'This must be where the head sit,' she thought noticing the rest of the Marauders sitting further down the table. James took a sip of juice and then looked up sensing her presence.  
  
"Good Morning Evans," James said looking back down to his magazine. The girls sitting a little way down from him snickered and began whispering amongst themselves. She glanced around nervously before sitting down. James smiled at her softly, turning his page. He picked up his spoon shoving something rather foul looking into his mouth. Lily looked from her normal looking porridge to his mess.  
  
"What is that?" she asked crinkling up her nose.  
  
"Bis?" he questioned looking back up at her with a full mouth. He finished swallowing.  
  
"This," he grinned, "Is the key to my existence; its Quiditch Puff cereal topped with hot chocolate sauce, and maple syrup."  
  
"How can you eat that?" she grimaced.  
  
"It's really good; I've been eating it this way since I was young. Only my mom knew how to make it well, so I missed it when I came to Hogwarts. Do you want some?" he asked offering her the spoon.  
  
"No, I'm fine thanks," she assured him, "But how do you get that now, instead of porridge?"  
  
"Well Sirius and I are rather fond of the kitchens, so we know the Houselfs quite well. Anyway one time while we were down there raiding food I let it slip I liked this stuff, and ever morning since its appeared before me."  
  
Lily smiled eating some of her porridge.  
  
"I guess you slept well last night," James commented.  
  
"I did..." she trailed looking at him suspiciously.  
  
"Well you didn't show up for midnight rounds last night that's all,"  
  
She stared at him. She let out a sigh mentally scolding herself. She had to be more together if she was going to be Head Girl. She'd totally forgotten about the rounds of the castle late at night to make sure everyone was in bed.  
  
"I'm sorry James,"  
  
"No need to apologize, you needed sleep. I gotta tell you though; I don't know why you're not staying in the Head dorm. The Head rooms are much better that our regular dorms. The bed are huge, the windows are large. We have our own bathroom and living room."  
  
"I just felt like I needed to be somewhere I belonged, my dorm is like my home,"  
  
James nodded, "I understand Evans, but you should really come check it out sometime,"  
  
She glanced at her watch, "What do we have first?" she asked.  
  
"Transfiguration," James replied looking back at his magazine,  
  
"I'd better get going," She said standing up.  
  
"Hey Evans," James reached across the table stopping her, "I'm assuming you are accepting my invitation to Hogsmede?"  
  
"What makes you think that?" She said stepping away from him.  
  
"Why else would you leave your friends and come sit up here with me?"  
  
"You mean this- this isn't where the Heads sit?" she asked looking mortified.  
  
James laughed deeply, "No, I didn't know there was a rule that said we had to sit together in a certain spot,"  
  
"But then -" she didn't finished but looked down at the rest of the Marauders, her eyes resting on Sirius, who was busy eating toast.  
  
"Oh I just wanted to get away from them so I could read this. Being Quiditch Captain I thought I should read up on new moves," James replied still laughing.  
  
"You're Quiditch captain, that's great! So is that magazine from the World Cup? I saw some vendors selling one like that when we were there," She smiled.  
  
He looked at her for a moment, "You went to the Quidditch World Cup?"  
  
"Yea my mum and I," She lied quickly.  
  
"Isn't your mom a muggle?"  
  
"umm,"  
  
"I'll see you in Transfiguration Evans," he replied walking away laughing to himself.  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
"Did you finish the Transfiguration homework?" Lily asked James as they walked around, completing their midnight round.  
  
"Nope, you?" James replied.  
  
"No, I still need 3 inches on that essay," She muttered.  
  
"Evans!" James cried fiercely, "You didn't finish your homework?"  
  
"Is that so hard to believe?" she asked.  
  
He looked at her for a moment, "No,"  
  
She laughed.  
  
"So I decided today I should cancel my invitation for you to come with me on the Hogsmede weekend we still have to plan," James told her with a smile.  
  
"How come?" she asked.  
  
"Well I saw you staring at Sirius all day," James told her.  
  
"I wasn't staring at Sirius," Lily cried pretending to look shocked.  
  
"You're eyes always rest on him Evans, give up you're fight,"  
  
"So what if they do?" She spat.  
  
"Hey I didn't say anything was wrong with that, I just wanted you to know, he likes to hop around from girl to girl,"  
  
"Thanks James but I can protect myself," she glared at him for a moment, resenting what he had said about Sirius, but after a moment her face softened, "Sorry, I'm just a little stressed out,"  
  
"No problem," James muttered looking the other way,  
  
"I still want to go with you to Hogsmede," She told him.  
  
"Well I guess we better get organizing a trip then hadn't we?"  
  
"I guess we should!" she laughed as they made their way toward the Head dorm.  
  
When they finally arrived, James showed Lily around their luxurious living room, and bathroom.  
  
"Wow," she cried upon entering her room. There was a large bed in the middle of the room, and the walls were covered in shelves of books. She had a large walk in closet and a small make up desk.  
  
"Nice isn't it?" James asked.  
  
She nodded running her fingers over the silk bedding on her bed, "Can I see your room?"  
  
He blushed slightly; "Sure,"  
  
She fallowed him across the living room.  
  
James's room was an odd shape, and a black bed was set to one side. Quiddtich Posters hung lopsidedly everywhere, quite like his room at his old house. His racing broom stood in one corner beside the flickering fireplace. James's robes lay scattered over the floor and Lily's eyes rested on a picture frame lying on a cluttered desk beside his bed. She walked over and picked it up. Mr. and Mrs. Potter stared up at her, along with his small sister Emma.  
  
"That's my family," he whispered coming up behind her.  
  
"Do you miss them?" she asked turning around.  
  
"With all my heart," he said as she handed him the picture.  
  
"Nice room," she said awkwardly.  
  
He smiled; "Yea it seems to change to however each Head likes it, this is just like my room back home..." he trailed.  
  
Lily suddenly felt a huge surge of compassion towards James. It was true they were very much in the same boat in many ways, and she had been there when his parents had died. She stepped closer to him and wrapped her arms around him embracing him. He seemed shocked at first but hugged her back. When she pulled away he smiled tucking a stray strand of fiery red hair back behind her ear.  
  
"You have beautiful hair you know?" he whispered lowering his face closer to hers. They were both in need of affection, both their lives laying in ruins at their feet.  
  
"James," she whispered, and suddenly it wasn't James standing in front of her. As James lowered his head and met his lips with hers he became Sirius, and she let her hands reach up the back of his neck getting entangled in his hair as he deepened the kiss.  
  
Across the castle in the boy's dormitory in the Gryffindor tower, Sirius Black awoke with a start. 


	26. The Kisses

Sirius sat up in his bed breathing heavily. He could still feel her kiss on his lips. He touched them with his shaking fingers. He let out a sigh and drew his knees up to his chest. Why had he been dreaming of her? Of all people he'd dreamt of Lily Evans, the one girl he loathed. Sure she was beautiful, but she was conservative book-worm, and she hated him. He ran his hand through his dark hair pull at it slightly. He knew it had just been a dream but it had seemed so real. He closed his eyes at the memory of the electricity that had pulsed through him as she touched her lips onto his. He threw his legs over the edge of his bed and with a groan he pulled himself to his feet. Behind the hangings, moonlight was washing over his dark dormitory. He smiled as he looked at the almost full moon thinking of the fun he and his friends would have. It would be Remus's first transformation of the year, this coming weekend.  
  
"Padfoot?" Peter asked quietly from his bed.  
  
"I'm okay Peter," Sirius replied softly, "I'm just hungry,"  
  
With that he got up and made his way down to the kitchens.  
  
Lily opened her eyes and pushed James away, breaking their steamy kiss. They looked at each other awkwardly for a moment. Lily averted her eyes,  
  
"Lily that was..."  
  
But she never heard what IT was, because she gasped and ran out of his room, into her own. She slammed the door shut and fell against it sinking down the wall. She couldn't believe what had just happened. She hadn't meant to, at first she'd kissed James because she'd felt something towards him, but as soon as she had closed her eyes her mind had opened up and targeted Sirius. What was worse is even after she'd realized it she let it go on. The kiss had felt so familiar, just what she needed most. She closed her eyes feeling guilt wash over her. She had used James to get into Sirius's mind but feel a physical response. She was such a bitch. She sat their on her floor, her knees drawn up and her head buried thinking back on what she'd over heard James telling Remus back before the summer began on the way home from sixth year. She knew that conversation probably didn't exist anymore, but she wondered if his feelings did. She knew that she was going to have to stay away from James for a while, until she got over Sirius no matter what Dumbledore had asked. How could she get over Sirius if every time she was with James she felt him.  
  
'But do I really want to get over him?' she thought, and she knew in her heart she didn't.  
  
James stood in his room for only a moment, deeply confused by why Lily would have pushed him away so suddenly. He realized that he hadn't talked or perused her in quite some time, but she seemed so into the kiss. He still wasn't sure how it had happened, but he'd felt so much feeling on her end. He'd never had a kiss like he'd experienced just then. It was as if all his dreams were coming true. He knew that he and Lily Evans were meant to be together the moment he saw her. He'd even heard her voice as he lay on his death bed. She was his angel, and maybe she was starting to realize that. James decided to clear his clogged head with some food from the kitchens and made his way down.  
  
"James?" Sirius asked as he ran towards James in the empty corridor.  
  
"Sirius!" James cried waiting for Sirius to catch up. James was still in his robes. Sirius crinkled his forehead in question,  
  
"Still haven't gone to bed?"  
  
"Nope,"  
  
"Hey I gotta talk to you about something," Sirius told him as they found the picture with the bowl of fruit and tickled the pear.  
  
"Yea me too, but let me go first!" James cried excitedly.  
  
"Okay," Sirius said holding up his hands, "You look like Christmas just came early, did you get in bed with some bimbo?"  
  
"No better!" James grinned.  
  
Sirius's face fell, he couldn't have possibly....Sirius knew that there were only two things better than sex to James; Quidditch and Lily.  
  
"You talked to Lily?" Sirius said looking impressed, "And what? She didn't run away?"  
  
"Even better," James's grin grew wider, "She kissed me,"  
  
Sirius's eyes grew wide in surprise as he stepped into the kitchen, "That's kind of funny because I was having this dream about-"  
  
"And God Padfoot, she did this thing where she let her hands run up my neck and into my hair," James interrupted him, "It was soo sexy,"  
  
Sirius dropped the cup of pumpkin juice a houself had just given him.  
  
"You're joking," Sirius blushed as the houself stooped to clean the mess, "sorry,"  
  
"No isn't that great?" James cried reaching for the nearest pumpkin pastry.  
  
"Yea," Sirius muttered. In his dream, Lily had ran her hands up his neck and into his hair in the most sexiest way. It had seemed so familiar, so natural to him.  
  
"That's cool man, "Sirius replied looking at James's disappointed look, "So why aren't you up there, you know finishing the job?"  
  
James smirked at him, "Actually she kinda gasped and pushed me away after a few minutes," he sat down heavily on a nearby chair.  
  
"She was probably just confused," Sirius comforted him, but inside his mind was going wild.  
  
"She's confused Ha!" he laughed, "I think I'm still gonna ask her to go to Hogsmede with me though..."  
  
Sirius looked at him,  
  
"Oh we were planning a Hogsmede trip this weekend," James told him, eating another pastry.  
  
"This weekend's no good James, check out the moon," Sirius explained.  
  
James got up at looked out the window that faced the Quidditch Pitch, sure enough the moon that had risen was quite full.  
  
"He already looks, shall I say off color," Sirius laughed.  
  
"Well I'll work it out somehow, but I gotta be with her, I think I finally have a chance," James said happily, "So why are you up?"  
  
"Bad dream," Sirius muttered.  
  
James nodded and grabbed a few more tarts and then made his way to the door, "I'm gonna head back upstairs though, it's getting late, goodnight Sirius,"  
  
"I'd wish you one too, but seems you've already had one," Sirius smiled grabbing his own tarts.  
  
********  
  
Lily rolled around her large bed restlessly.  
  
"Well?" A cruel voice asked.  
  
"They..." a small voice trailed.  
  
"Tell me, you owe everything you know to the great DARK LORD!" the cruel voice hissed, "It is a privilege to stand before me,"  
  
"I...I know my Lord," The voice faltered, "They are in Godrics Hallow, she is pregnant."  
  
"How cute, the perfect little couple, in their perfect protected world, and now she is pregnant," The cruel voice laughed.  
  
"You have done well Wormtail, but I still must remind you to speak quicker in the future," The Dark Lord smiled.  
  
"No, please, My Lord!" Wormtail pleaded.  
  
"Crucio,"  
  
Peter Pettigrew's screams filled Lily's mind as she slept on restlessly. 


	27. Never Give Up

James's endless tossing and turning woke Lily up the next morning. She glanced at her clock after blinking the sleep out of her eyes. It was six am. She squinted as sunlight from the window washed over her. As soon as Lily sat up pain shot threw her head. She rubbed her temples gingerly, remembering how horrible of a sleep she had. Dreams had filled the night. Bits and pieces of her future and past nothing that made sense, she let out a sigh, grabbing her wand from her bedside table. She pointed it at her bed and muttered a spell. Instantly the bed was nicely made. She locked her door, and pulled off her pajamas replacing them with her housecoat. She put her wand in its pocket before she padded softly across her living room and paused in front of James's open door. He was lying face down on his bed snoring peacefully. She frowned at the bitter memory of the night before and finished making her way to the vast bathroom. She closed the door behind her smiling at the white tiled bathroom before her. The tub was more like a swimming pool filled with deep blue water. She slipped off her housecoat and hung it on a nearby hook. The walls were lined with various shampoos and soaps; some promising longer hair, everlasting freshness, or a new hairstyle after each use. There was a shelf full of very fluffy warm towels. Lily sat down at the edge of the pool and dipped her wriggling toes. She pulled back and the feel of the cold water. She reached up into her housecoat and pulled out her wand. She touched its tip to the water, and without even saying a spell the water turned the perfect temperature. She let herself fall in leaving her wand at the side. It was wonderful. She smiled thoughtfully, grabbed her wand and touched its tip to the water again. Bubbles foamed up all around her producing the sweet smell of vanilla as she bathed herself happily.  
  
James turned over groaning. Why couldn't he just sleep? It seemed his mind hadn't stopped going after last nights kiss. All he could think and dream about was Lily and her soft pale lips, gorgeous green eyes and ravishing red hair. He threw himself onto his back and stole a glance at his clock. It was almost seven and if he wanted to eat breakfast he'd better get up. He pulled himself to his feet yawning and glancing out the window. He had quidditch practice tonight and was keen to know what the conditions were going to be like. He pulled on a t-shirt and rubbed his eyes as he walked out into the bright living room door. A sweet voice filled the silence, and James looked at the closed bathroom door. He smiled and walked over. He knocked softly.  
  
"Evans," he called, when there was no response he knocked again.  
  
"Just a minute!" he heard her call crossly.  
  
After a few moments of shuffling, the door opened revealing Lily standing infront of him, draped in a light pink housecoat and towel drying her hair hastily. He stared hungrilly at her plush lips and rosy cheeks. The housecoat was crossed in the front revealing the small valley between Lily's breasts to him.  
  
"Yes?" she asked after a moment of James staring at her, her damp red locks falling about her face.  
  
"Oh, I was just hoping to use the bathroom," he smiled.  
  
She caught his eyes for a moment and then pursed her lips brushing past him silently. He entered the bathroom, but retreated slowly calling after her.  
  
"Hey Evans!"  
  
She turned around, still rubbing the towel through her hair.  
  
"About last night, that kiss..." he trailed off thinking of it.  
  
"Was a mistake," she finished for him.  
  
"What do you mean it was a mistake, it was amazing!" he asked flabbergasted.  
  
"James," she shook her head, "It was nothing, I just felt this sudden urge of compassion towards you because I don't have a family and neither do you,"  
  
"I know there was more than compassion on the other end of that kiss Evans, I could feel it in you. Do you not understand, I know that we are meant to be together, I've known that since the day I laid eyes on you. I told Remus, I thought you were the most beautiful thing in the world,"  
  
Lily snickered,  
  
"Not just physically, you, god there's just something about you, about the way you think, you are soo intriguing, a thousand kind thoughts can be written on your face when you are silent." James whispered stepping towards her and taking her hand, "I was a jerk when we were younger, and I know that now, and I thought I'd given up, but I can't forget what happened last night, I can't give up on my heart,"  
  
"It's not that I don't care for you James," Lily replied looking down,  
  
"Then what's the big god damned deal?" James cried.  
  
"I love somebody else," she said pulling her hand from his and turning back to her door, "I think I will go tell Dumbledore about our idea for the Hogsmede trip this weekend," she said hastily.  
  
"Its Sirius isn't it?" James asked as she entered her room, "I told you I've seen the way you look at him,"  
  
She ignored him.  
  
"Why do you like him Evans, he's no good for you!" James spat.  
  
"See you in transfigurations Potter," Lily whispered back.  
  
James groaned loudly, and went back into the washroom slamming the door loudly.  
  
When Lily made her way to Dumbledore's office, the Headmaster was pleased to see her.  
  
"I'm assuming it all went well Miss Evans?" He smiled at her as she approached him.  
  
"You know?" Lily asked.  
  
"Of course," Dumbledore smiled, "So what can I do for you?"  
  
"James and I wish to suggest we have a Hogsmede trip this first weekend back." Lily said to him, sitting in the same chair she'd sat in nights ago when her life still kinda made sense.  
  
"I see," he said peering at her, "I suppose that will be fine,"  
  
Lily closed her eyes, "Thank you, that's all I needed."  
  
"Don't do it again Lily," Dumbledore warned.  
  
"Do what?" She asked.  
  
He smiled softly, "Lily, please don't use James to open your mind to Sirius again."  
  
Lily frowned, "I miss him, you can't expect me to just forget about Sirius and love James with all my heart Professor,"  
  
"I don't expect that of you, I just hope that you are trying," Dumbledore replied.  
  
Lily looked at him disgusted.  
  
"I know what I ask of you is a lot Lily,"  
  
"You don't know anything," she sneered angry at him for making her do what she had done.  
  
"I am so proud of you for the choice you made Lily, very honorable, and I know this can't be easy, but we are pressed for time," he pushed a new publication of The Daily Prophet at her.  
  
The headline read, "Thirteen Muggles and Four Wizards Latter, The Dark Lord gains power."  
  
Lily looked up at Dumbledore uncertainly.  
  
"A memory small or large, can never truly be erased from ones mind, it is only hidden from them. Every time you open your mind to Sirius as you did last night, it lets him see more of that hidden memory. If you keep doing that he will eventually remember Lily and we will have a crisis."  
  
Lily nodded, her heart sinking.  
  
"Is that all?" She said quietly.  
  
"You may go if that is what you are asking,"  
  
Lily got up and threw the newspaper back onto the Headmasters desk, anger rising in her cheeks.  
  
She left his office in a furry.  
  
The week passed and the Hogsmede weekend came. Lily was feeling more lonely then she'd ever felt as she lead the new third years across the field into Hogsmede. James was laughing loudly with one of the third years who was on his quidditch team. She hurried ahead of James aware of his penetrating eyes and pleading stares. Once in Hogsmede she made her way to the bookstore. While searching for a new Charms book she'd read about in the Daily Prophet she glanced out the window to see Remus, James, Peter and Sirius standing outside of Zonkos Jokeshop that was just across the dusty street. Leaves from the nearby trees blew around them as they laughed together. Suddenly Lily noticed Mirinda Mincent walking towards the boys swaying her him which were covered by an extremely short skirt. She let herself brush past each boy promiscuously before settling in front of Sirius. Lily watched as he smiled devilishly lowering his lips onto hers. In front of her stood the Sirius she didn't know, the Sirius she'd felt she'd created when shed sent him back in time. Lily felt her throat choke as she watched her boyfriend kiss someone else so meaningfully. James caught her eyes through the window and she stepped away looking horrified. She stepped back into the aisle knowing he was going to come approach her. She busied herself with her book. She heard the front door bells of the store jingle as someone entered. His footsteps were slow as he walked towards her. She looked down at his dusty black uniform shoes. She closed her eyes slowly.  
  
"Why do you care for him Evans?" James asked.  
  
"Why do you care?" Lily spat back looking up at him and hugging her book to her chest.  
  
"I care for you," he said honestly, his hazel eyes twinkling.  
  
"Oh go away Potter," Lily snapped brushing past him towards the cash register.  
  
"Evans," he called grabbing her hand as she fled.  
  
"Do you ever give up?" she cried strangling to pull her hand from his grip.  
  
"No, I wont!" James said grabbing the book from her other hand and placing it on the counter," we are meant to be with each other,"  
  
She looked up at him with reproachful eyes, feeling the longing in her body as he stood before her his eyes narrowed in determination.  
  
"Deal with it Potter," she said quietly not breaking her eyes from his.  
  
"But you care for me," he said hold her other hand.  
  
Lily felt her heart beating fast, knowing it was true, knowing she wanted to betray Sirius, knowing she wanted to let go of him. She closed her eyes and let out a slow shuddery breath.  
  
"I love him," she whispered, telling herself more than James.  
  
"How can you love him?" he asked pulling her close and staring at her so meaningfully, Lily could feel her heart leap. She stared into his hazel eyes feeling herself roll up onto her toes inching towards his face slowly. James closed his eyes, moving his arms around her waist.  
  
The bells of the door jingled causing the two to jump apart.  
  
"Hey Prongs!" Sirius cried, he paused glancing at Lily and James standing infront of him. James stared at the floor, where as Lily looked like a deer caught in the head lights. She grabbed the counter for support as she faltered for a moment and the let a trembling hand raise to her mouth as she stared at him. Sirius admitted as he stared back at her, that he felt a pang of guilt pulse through him as he thought of the dream he had had. She let out a tiny gasp, and then fled from the store. Sirius looked at James for the answer but he pushed him out of the way and dashed after her.  
  
"Evans!" James called after her as she ran down the step onto the dusty streets of Hogsmede, "We need to talk about this!"  
  
"About what?" She cried spinning around on him.  
  
"Our relationship,"  
  
"Our relationship," she cried savagely into the wind, not noticing the people in the streets who were staring at her, "Is simple, you are Head Boy, I am Head Girl, sure we have to live in the same common house, see each other lots but that's IT!"  
  
"Why?!" James cried confused. Hadn't she just about kissed him?  
  
"I will see you at midnight for our rounds of the school," she said curtly walking away from him as she spotted Alice, Favia and Jill a little way down the road.  
  
James and Lily didn't speak for the next week, even during their rounds they remained silent, and James busied himself with Quidditch and his friends at all other times, as Lily sat alonein front of the fire gazing at her homework and thinking of Sirius, James and Voldemort. At the end of the week Dumbledore and the Heads of Houses held a meeting for all prefects and James and Lily. He wanted them to organize a ball that was to be held on Halloween, and Lily gritted her teeth preparing herself for all the extra time she was going to have to spend with James. He smiled at her from across the room. She smiled softly back preparing herself for an interesting month, 


	28. Holding On To You

The month of September waned into October and Lily and James were kept busy. Lily had her hands tied balancing homework and Head duties. This not only included the dance, but she had prefects to organize, Hogsmede trips to plan and head up, Quidditch to monitor and midnight rounds. James had an added strain to his schedule being the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, he had training several times a week, which he also had to organize, supervise and participate in.  
  
On October 31st after lunch when the halls were buzzing with rumors of the Halloween ball, James and Lily were both working up a storm. James had been put in charge of decorating the Great Hall for the evening's event. Lily walked around snapping at Prefects to get busy, and was busy herself rechecking lists and preparing the music for the evening. James was tangled in a great mess of silk streamers when Mundungus Fletcher, a sixth year prefect walked up to Lily and kissed her cheek. James strained to overhear what he said to her.  
  
"Calm down Lils," he smiled at her, "Everything will look and sound as beautiful as you,"  
  
James and Lily rolled thier eyes.  
  
"Oh Mundungus, do call me Lily won't you, not Lils, it sounds so, i don't know...." she trailed.  
  
"Are you ready for this evening?" he asked her ignoring what she had said, "I am so happy that you are going with me, I must be the luckiest wizard here at Hogwarts, except for James Potter,"  
  
"What about him?" She asked looking up sharply from her clipboard. James to paused and looked towards Mundungus who had his back to James.  
  
"Well he gets to LIVE with you Lily, so surly he is the luckiest,"  
  
Lily scowled at him, "Will I see you at seven then?" she said looking back down at her clipboard.  
  
"You will," he smiled, kissed her cheek softly and was gone.  
  
James glared after him. Was this Lily's date?  
  
"Hey Evans," James shouted across the hall.  
  
Lily met his eyes,  
  
"Is Fletcher your date?" he questioned.  
  
"Yes he is," she said stoutly before marching out of the hall as well.  
  
James sat down in his heap of streamers. Mundungus Fletcher was on the Gryffindor Quidditch team and flew along side James as a chaser. He let out a sigh and began sorting out streamers once more.  
  
An hour before the dance was scheduled to begin Lily finally finished the last touches on the dj set up and ran from the Great Hall to get ready. She skipped the Head Dorm and made her way to the Gryffindor tower where she met her friends in her old dorm. Alice was curling her hair with her wand while Jill was dousing herself in makeup.  
  
"Where's Favia?" Lily asked sitting down on her old bed gingerly.  
  
"Out," Alice replied quickly, looking a Jill harshly.  
  
Lily furrowed her eyebrows and swallowed,  
  
"Okay then."  
  
"Let's see your dress!" Jill cried happily staring at Lily.  
  
Lily smiled and closed her eyes. She'd become so apt to Charms she could do simple onces at will. She thought hard about her dress sitting in her closet in the room that lay so close to James. 'Don't get distracted,' her mind told herself. Lily forced herself to think only of the dress and before she knew it it was in her hands.  
  
"Oh Lily it's beautiful!" Jill shrieked reaching out to touch the sheer black material that Lily had in her hands.  
  
"How do you do that?" Alice wondered shaking her head walking towards Lily.  
  
"I don't know," Lily blushed.  
  
"Well let's see it on you then!" Alice said after a moment.  
  
Lily took off her cloak and uniform hastily and pulled the beautiful dress she'd picked up in Hogsmede over her head. It fit her wonderfully, showing off all of her curves. The two girls stared at her as Lily reached up and undid the clip holding her hair out of her face letting the red waves fall past her shoulders.  
  
"Ooo leave you're hair like that!" Jill squealed.  
  
"Ha" Lily laughed, "I couldn't leave it like this!"  
  
She looked into the mirror above the fireplace.  
  
"You know it really does look nice," the mirror said restlessly.  
  
Lily looked at herself from every angle and decided it did look nice. She sat down with a smile and began to put on her shoes.  
  
"I'm assuming you are going with Frank, Alice?" Lily called out to her friend who soon emerged from the bathroom wearing a long purple dress.  
  
"How'd you guess?" she grinned as she pointed her wand to her head and muttered a quick spell. Her hair came to life and knotted itself sophisticatedly at the back of her head.  
  
Jill emerged from the bathroom seconds later wearing a stunning red frilly dress. Her blonde hair had been styled to perfection and was shinning in the moonlight from the window.  
  
"What about you Lily who are you going with?" Alice asked.  
  
Lily finished doing up the straps to her shoes before answering,  
  
"Mundungus..."  
  
"FLETCHER?" Jill and Alice cried together, "That sixth year chaser?"  
  
Lily nodded with a small smile, "He asked me when we were discussing music possibilities for tonight,"  
  
"Good, that means we can all hang together, Frank likes Mundungus and so does James," Jill smiled.  
  
"James?" Lily asked.  
  
"I am going to the dance with him," Jill replied looking over at her and sitting down to put on her own shoes.  
  
"Going with James Potter?" she asked reverently, "To the ball?"  
  
"Yes Lily, just because you hate him doesn't mean I do," Jill sniffed.  
  
"I know," Lily said quietly.  
  
Jill stared at her for a few more minutes before she stood up.  
  
"Well girls, let's go meet our dates!"  
  
James was pacing the corridor outside the Great Hall. He glanced at his watch; beside him Mundungus and Frank were fidgeting. Why was he so nervous? True he had never dated Jill Mclouski before, but he knew her well. Was it really her he was nervous for? Giggles filled the end of the hall and James looked up eagerly with the other boys. His date Jill, was dressed to kill in a tight red dress, she smiled at him, but he looked past her at Lily, who looked stunning in a seamless black dress and her hair worn down naturally. She looked just as her name said a natural Lily blowing in the wind.  
  
"Hey," James whispered kissing Jill's heavily powdered cheek, and looking threw her hair at Lily and Mundungus. Mundungus was leaning against the wall talking and smiling and Lily was clasping her hands together and looking at the floor a slight blush rising in her cheeks. James felt his heart skip a beat.  
  
"Have you seen Sirius?" Jill asked him pulling him back into reality.  
  
"No why?" James asked, but Jill silenced him as Lily walked by making her way into the dance.  
  
After a few hours of having Mundungus press his pelvis towards Lily, she'd finally let a younger girl cut in and sat down on a chair at the side. Lily glanced around and noticed Alice swaying slowly with Frank, their arms entangled around each other, and staring at each other with so much affection. She searched the room for Jill and James, a pang of jealousy ringing through her. Finaly she spotted Jill's red gown but was shocked to see that Jill wasn't resting her head on James but rather Remus Lupin. Through the masses of people swaying together here and there Lily noticed James sitting by himself against the wall on the other side of the Hall. He seemed wrapped up in thought, but looked up after a moment and locked eyes with Lily, a smile plying on his lips. Lily felt her heart in her ears as she began to smile back, but a couple strode in front of her blocking her view. She shouted for them to move, and by the time the listened James had disappeared from his place across the hall. Lily let out a sigh.  
  
"What's wrong?" James asked her as he sat down next to her.  
  
"James!" she smiled happily.  
  
"I think that's the most excited you've ever said my name," he smiled, "Drink?"  
  
"Allow me," she said closing her eyes and concentrating on two cups of punch.  
  
They came suddenly whizzing from the shadow.  
  
"Thanks," James laughed, "So shouldn't you be out there Evans, enjoying your dance?"  
  
"I was until Mundungus started rubbing his pelvis on me, how come you're not with Jill?"  
  
"Meh, she wanted to dance with Remus, been talking about how cute he is all night."  
  
Lily laughed sipping her punch. James grinned lopsidedly. A new slow song began playing, and on cue the lights went down low.  
  
"So didn't do bad did I? with the decorations?" he asked.  
  
"They are wonderful James, really," Lily said still smiling at him.  
  
"Evans, would you like to dance with me?" James asked cautiously.  
  
Lily let out a laugh, "Is James Potter the Great asking Lily Evans the Bookworm to dance?"  
  
"No, James Potter the Head Boy is asking Lily Evans the very Beautiful Head Girl to dance,"  
  
"How is that any different?" Lily asked putting her cup down and James stood up.  
  
"Oh it is," he smiled reaching down for her hand, "Come on,"  
  
"James, I don't know, I'd rather-" but she was cut off as James pulled her arm making her twirl right into his chest.  
  
"Where did you learn how to dance?" she cried, as he spun her back out and then pulled her close.  
  
"My mother taught me, said it would come in handy one day," James smiled as he clasped Lily's small hand in his big one and placed his other hand around her waist, "She said it would impress a girl someday,"  
  
"I think she might have been right." Lily laughed.  
  
The Head Boy and Girl danced in circles for the next few songs laughing and joking with each other. James just couldn't get enough of Lily's smile. She pulled him close hooking her arms under his shoulder and placing her head on his broad chest. James seemed a bit surprised but soon his arms found a comfortable spot around her. Their perfect night seemed to want to go on forever until Lily noticed a disturbance at the back.  
  
"What is she doing here?" Favia yelled.  
  
"How the hell do I know?" Sirius shot back.  
  
Mirinda Mincent stood but a few feet away.  
  
Lily stared at her friend, who was dressed in a white gown and in the arms of Sirius Black. Lily pulled herself away from James.  
  
"He's mine chick," Mirinda drawled, attempting to cut in between the two. Sirius pushed Favia away opening his arms for Mirinda.  
  
"Sirius Black!" Favia bellowed, "You said you loved me,"  
  
"Oh go back to your pathetic friends Favia, and say hello to Evans for me if her ugly face isnt buried to far into a book!" Sirius said.  
  
Lily stood there staring at Sirius and Favia not knowing which to hate more. She gasped, and stood stark still, her stomach doing flip-flops and her heart racing.  
  
"Evans?" James said touching her arm tenderly.  
  
She let her head fall into her hands, "Oh god,"  
  
"Come on lets get out of here, before Sirius sees you," James whispered pulling at her arm and leading her out of the Great Hall.  
  
When they made it outside the Hall Lily sat down on a bench and cried into her hands.  
  
"Why do you care for him so much Evans?" James asked, "If you don't answer me fine, but if you do at least tell me the truth."  
  
Lily looked up at him sniffing, "I used to have a boyfriend James, and I loved him very very much, he was everything to me, he knew all my darkest secrets and he loved me just the same. He needed me just as much as I needed him, but then I had to end it. I miss him so much."  
  
James winced at the sound of Lily loving someone else but replied,  
  
"I am sorry that you had to end it, but what does that have to do with Sirius,"  
  
Lily looked into his hazel eyes,  
  
"He looked so much like Sirius, when I see him it makes me think of ...of....Tom so much,"  
  
Why did she have to think of Voldemort at a time like this.  
  
"Oh, so its not Sirius you love?"  
  
"No, its," she paused, what was it she loved? "It's more the memory of my love for Tom that I miss, and that I am still holding onto,"  
  
"Maybe if you had something else to hold onto you could let go of Tom?" James offered gazing at her meaningfully.  
  
"James-" he cut her off,  
  
"Come with me I have a present for you." he told her. She fallowed him all the way to the Head Dorm and into his room.  
  
"Now just hold on I have to find It." he told her, as she sat down on his bed watching him throw around dirty school and quiddtich robes.  
  
"Ahh here it is, Close your eyes Evans," James told her. She listened.  
  
"James?" she asked as she heard him come closer.  
  
"Mmm?"  
  
"Why do you call me Evans? Don't you know my name is Lily?" she asked dumbly.  
  
"Course I do, I just never thought to use you're name, I guess I was afraid of what you might say,"  
  
Lily smiled, "I wont do anything I swear."  
  
Suddenly she felt something heavy in her hands, she opened her eyes. In her hands was the Charms book she'd been meaning to buy those long weeks ago when she'd left James at the bookstore.  
  
"James..." She breathed, "That was so sweet of you..." she stared at him, her breath catching as he kneeled on the floor in front of him.  
  
"Lily..." he said uncertainly, "You have a beautiful name,"  
  
She blushed,  
  
"Lily," he began again, "I don't know how good this Tom was to you, or how much he loved you, but I want you to know that I am so in love with you right now. I know I can never replace Tom, and I don't want to but I want to have a place inside your heart. I don't know if Tom ever noticed how you can be silent, and yet say so many things, or if your eyes sent shivers down his back. I don't know if he lay in his bed awake every night thinking about you like I have, but all that I am asking is that you find a place in your heart for me Lily. I want to be with you, forever."  
  
Lily sat there dumbstruck as tears came to her eyes, and James's.  
  
"Oh James, can't you see there already is a spot in my heart with you in it?"  
  
He grinned at her, and she put her book on the bed, and wrapped her arms around him.  
  
"Lily..." he breathed, "Oh Lily..."  
  
Without wasting another second Lily lowered her lips onto James and kissed him passionately. As James's fingers caressed her shoulders, Lily closed her eyes and watched all of her memories of Sirius float by her. She said a secret goodbye to Sirius, and let go of his heart forever. She was holding onto to something new now, holding on as tight as she could, and that was all she needed. 


	29. Changing Times

The sun rose early on a warm July morning. The bright sunlight washed over England silently as the world began to awake. The sunlight poured in through open windows arousing people as it did so. In a small white country house in Godricks Hollow just outside of London, Lily jolted awake. The sunlight shone on her long red locks and glittered in her already bright green eyes as she shoved her hand up to block the sun from her face. She got up from the chair she'd fallen asleep in the night before, feeling a little angry at James for not waking her up when he'd come in. She walked over to the curtains drawing them closed. Lily reached into her dressing robe pocket producing her wand. She pointed her wand at a lamp sitting on a table that was covered in books Lily had been reading and muttered a spell. It instantly lit, and Lily noticed a smooth dark leather bound book sticking out on the cluttered table. She returned to her chair grabbing in and opening it gingerly. On the first page lay a moving photo that had been loosely spell-o-taped to the page and underneath it bore the words Graduation 1978. Lily peered at her old self who stood wrapped up in James's arms. They were both clad in the same scarlet robes embellished with gold. James leaned down and whispered something into Lily's ear that made crimson patches appear on her cheeks as she reached up to place a pointed graduation hat on his crown of messy black hair. She stroked his cheek gently and he lowered his lips to hers kissing her sweetly. She turned the page to see a picture of Sirius, Remus, Peter and James laughing together in front of the lake at Hogwarts on graduation. She smiled warmly at Sirius's laughing grey eyes, Peter's rosy cheeks and Remus's bright toothy smile, her eyes rested on James's trade-mark lopsided grin. She felt her heart flutter. She was so incredibly in love with him. The next page revealed Her and James standing together. Lily was blinking back tears, her mouth hanging open and her hand outstretched. James grabbed it proudly bringing it closer to the camera. A diamond ring sparkled. Lily smiled at her memories of graduation. James had proposed to her. He had taken her to this house, in Godricks Hollow straight from Hogwarts. They had lived less than a year before they had maried on October 31st 1979. Lily turned the page of her photoalbum to see herself in a beautiful white gown and veil holding onto James, who wore a black tux tightly. Lily's hair had been pulled out of her face and fell in curls around her neck. Two gold rings glinted in the light. Behind them stood their wedding party. Sirius, holding fast to Favia, Peter stood alone in the middle beaming at James, Remus stood next to him holding Jill close, and Alice and Frank Longbottom stood their happily aswell. All the girls were dressed in deep rose dresses, and the boys in tuxes.  
  
"Lily?" James called stepping out from the hallway into the kitchen. He peered into the living room,  
  
"Ahh right were I left you," he smiled as he walked in fiddling with his tie, "Good morning,"  
  
"You left me here last night," she said crossly setting the album down in her lap and crossing her arms.  
  
"You looked so pretty sleeping their I just didn't want to disturb you," James told her looking down at her with his pleading hazel eyes. He walked over and sat down on the arm of the chair picking up the photo album.  
  
"My favorite pictures are over here," James said flicking through some pages quickly. He set the album back down on her lap and she looked down to see herself standing in the kitchen, pregnant. It had been over a year ago. She looked odd standing there, with such a huge belly with James standing behind her, wrapping arms around her holding her stomach gently in his hands as he smiled eagerly at the camera. The next page held a photo of James holding his newborn child at St. Mungos and rocking him back and forth. Lily was in the background sweat dripping down her face, but grinning all the same. The look on James's face was pure joy. The Potters had had a baby boy on July 31st 1980 and named him Harry James Potter. Harry after Lily's favorite Great Uncle and James after his father. The next picture showed James and Lily in the hospital bed, holding the little bundle of joy between them. Harry had dark hair that matched James and his eyes a grayish blue that most newborns had. James moved his arms around Lily rubbing her shoulder. He kissed her hair and remember the best day of his life. The day his son had been born. It had been almost a year before.  
  
"Do you need help with your tie?" Lily asked him closing the book.  
  
James jumped up and pulled Lily with him. She picked up her wand and muttered a short spell and the tie knotted itself smoothly.  
  
"You know sometimes I think you forget you're a wizard." She smiled up at him pulling him close.  
  
"I always forget stuff when I'm in front of a beautiful witch," he grinned.  
  
She laughed as he kissed her neck.  
  
"James you are going to be late for work," She paused and closed her eyes at the feel of his mouth on her warm skin, "Again."  
  
"I don't care," he whispered huskily pushing his body up against hers.  
  
"James you might get fired," Lily warned.  
  
"They aren't gonna fire the best Auror they've got," James said pulling away, "They need me to much,"  
  
"Don't remind me," Lily said looking away from him.  
  
"Lily," he sighed.  
  
"Don't Lily me, What if something happened. What if you found Him, or worse, if He found you first?" She asked.  
  
"Lily I didn't come out of Hogwarts with top the top mark in Defence Against the Dark Arts or have training for nothing,"  
  
"I know I just couldn't bear it if something happened to you," she sniffed.  
  
"Nothing will happen, How many times do we go through this and I always come home."  
  
Lily stared at him, not satisfied.  
  
"Look if I die, I promise I will come back to haunt you okay?"  
  
She glared at him for a moment, but her eyes softened and she smiled.  
  
"Promise?"  
  
"I promise." he whispered kissing her hard on the lips.  
  
She moaned and let her fingers run up his neck reaching into his messy black hair tugging on it softly.  
  
"I love you Lily Potter," he breathed into her ear.  
  
"I love you to James Potter," she whispered back staring at him. A wail sounded from the bedroom. She sighed.  
  
"I will get him," James offered and rushed out of the living room down the hall towards Harry's nursery.  
  
Lily ventured into the kitchen looking down at the coffee pot. She poured some into the cup she had summoned from the cupboard. It was cold. She stared at the cup until a think line of steam rose from it and drank it happily. Lily had learned to do almost any charm without using any wand. Professor Dumbledore had said she'd been the first one he knew that could do that much magic without a wand, when not emotionally heightened. During her pregnancy Lily had written a book about her knew found talent and it was now used at Hogwarts for the Advanced Charms class in the seventh year.  
  
The side door that entered the kitchen clattered open and banged shut.  
  
"Good morning Lily," Sirius cried as he entered with a huge smile.  
  
"Excited for your first day at work?" She asked wrapping her dress robe around her more tightly. Sirius had been in Bulgaria for the last few months training to be an Auror. She knew he was excited - from the look on his face. Lily had stopped using her other powers after she'd, well after she'd first kissed James. The only time it was ever practiced was when she was asleep and couldn't control it. She often dreamnt things she couldn't make sense of or things from her past. Lily's eyes shot to Sirius's hand, where the gold ring he had bought for her still laid. When asked about his ring, Sirius could never tell the inquirer where he'd received it. He couldn't remember. He blamed his bad memory on Quidditch which he played during Hogwarts. He'd played as beater and been hit by many bludgers. All that he knew was that he had always worn it. Sirius smiled up at her.  
  
"Very excited, wouldn't have any extra coffee would you?" he asked.  
  
"Of course," she said, closing her eyes. A cup flew from the open cupboard filled with cold coffee and was steaming before it made its way to Sirius's hands. He shook his head at her taking a sip.  
  
"Show off," he muttered, "Just like that husband of yours,"  
  
"If you're talking about Saturday Padfoot old buddy, I wasn't trying to show off," James said coming into the kitchen caring baby Harry. He looked like a spitting image of his father, with his dark messy mop of hair and emphasized facial features. The only difference was the Harry had emerald green eyes like his mother.  
  
"I agree with Sirius," Lily said reaching for her child.  
  
"I told you a million times, I really had to spiral like that, the snitch was going hay-wire," James insisted. He was of course talking about his World-Class Quidditch game he'd participated in this weekend. He played seeker for Britain's team. The snitch had indeed gone hay-wire but James of course had caught it anyhow. He'd been playing for nearly two years now and never missed one. The Ministry didn't like James being on the time, as they preferred all their Aurors to be kind of low key.  
  
"Ready?" Sirius asked putting his cup down.  
  
"Yea," he turned to Lily kissing her quickly and ruffling Harry's hair, "I will come back,"  
  
She smiled weakly at him as Harry tried to reach out for his father. James picked him up and tossed him the air carelessly grinning at Sirius as Harry laughed.  
  
"You've got to get yourself one of these," he said winking.  
  
"Yours is enough," Sirius smiled back, "Lets go bro!"  
  
"Bye Lily," James said giving Harry back to her, "I love you,"  
  
"Love you to, and you Sirius," she called, "Take good care of my husband, he's the only one I have,"  
  
"Take good care of my godson," Sirius called back with a wave, "He's the only one I have,"  
  
She smiled as she watched James push Sirius and Sirius push him back as the two fought like brothers making there way to the porthole in the middle of the vast lawn. They were brothers James and Sirius. Remus too. Even Peter. Lily held Harry closer in her arms, smiling at her family. 


	30. Dreams of You

Sirius entered his newly rented apartment with a yawn. His first day at work had been exhausting. He unbuttoned his shirt slowly and loosened his tie as he threw his keys on the counter by the door. He made his way to the kitchen, running a hand through his long dark hair as he opened the fridge looking for something to eat. He settled on some left over food from the night before. He sat down on his couch heavily savoring the food in his mouth. Tiredness washed over his body. When he finished eating he lay down. Sleep overcame him hastily. Sirius was pulled into a familiar darkness. A darkness he'd learned to love and hate at the same time. After what seemed only a few moments Sirius found himself in that familiar dark room, surrounded by a familiar silver mist. She emerged from the darkness. The ever familiar women, dressed in a dark cloak. Her red curls spilled out from the drawn hood and fell over her chest. Her lips called to him. He was drawn to her face, her eyes, her heart.  
  
"Lily..." he whispered as she glided towards him with the grace of a veela.  
  
"Sirius," she said with such adoration.  
  
He winced as she placed a smooth pale hand on his cheek.  
  
"Please remember," she told him, "Remember me."  
  
"I do remember you, your Lily Evans Potter."  
  
She shook her head biting her lip.  
  
"Remember me as you used to Sirius,"  
  
He looked up at her compelled by her beauty, but taken back by her mysterious words.  
  
"I don't understand," he began but she silenced him with a finger to his lips.  
  
He stared at her dark eyelashes, as they fluttered above him. He gulped as she locked her green eyes with his. He was drawn in. He smiled at her childish freckles and beautiful smile. He gazed longingly at her body that was dripping with womanhood. He winced again. What was he doing. She was like his sister. The only reason they were even friends was because of James. They'd hated each other. This was is best friends wife. Lily seemed to notice his distraction as she moved his hands around him, he fingers crawling up his neck.  
  
"I miss you," she whispered.  
  
"I saw you this morning," he gasped as she played with his hair, "Lily please,"  
  
Her breath quickened as she lowered her face towards his.  
  
"You're married," he reminded her, his heart was beating so hard he thought with was going to jump out of his chest.  
  
Her eyes fluttered shut as her lips met his. She kissed him hard, and he tasted her sweetness. He did not respond but pushed her away.  
  
"Nooo!" he cried sitting straight up on his couch. He threw his head back with a sigh and stared up at the ceiling. It had just been another dream. He felt guilt wash over him. Why had he been dreaming of his best friends wife? How could he dream about the woman that had devoted her life to James and his Godson Harry, and was probably curled up in James's arms, in James's bed right now? He didn't even feel for her? Why was he having these dreams? She was beautiful, but still he'd never looked at her in any other way then a sister-in-law, but for his dreams. He let his head fall in his hands. He needed to sort this out. He didn't want these dreams of her haunting him for the rest of his life. He didn't need it. He didnt want it. He needed to talk to somebody who might be able to make sense of the mess that cluttered his head. He needed to speak to his brother, his comrade, but it couldn't be James.  
  
Sirius pulled himself off his couch and glanced at his watch. It was almost midnight. He hoped Remus wouldn't be sleeping yet. He grabbed a bit of Floo Powder and threw it into the fire. The green flames flickered brightly in his dark living room. He got on his hands and knees and stuck his shaggy head into the flames.  
  
"Remus's Place," he shouted.  
  
He closed his eyes as the fire whirled around him, and opened them again when the roaring stopped in his ears. He was now peering into Remus's spacious apartment. It was very large, with stairs leading up to the kitchen. A balchony to the right, and more stairs to the left. In the middle on a leather couch lay Remus, ontop of a heavily jeweled woman Sirius had seen around at the Ministry. Remus was recieving a very passionate kiss as his hands worked up the womans body.  
  
"Aww my little Remy!" Sirius called from the fire.  
  
Remus sat up wiping his face as he whipped around to face the fire place.  
  
"PADFOOT!" He cried, "You'd think you'd call before you stuck your face in here!"  
  
"Have I ever been one to reason with privacy?" Sirius asked with a grin, "Hello by the way," he added nodding at the blushing women who was still under Remus.  
  
"What do you want?" Remus asked irritably.  
  
"I really need to talk, but it can wait." Sirius said growing serious.  
  
"No, no," Remus sighed, never one to turn away his friends, "Meet me upstairs,"  
  
Sirius smiled at him, waved to the women and made it back into his own living room. He stood up, brushed off the soot, and then aparated to Remus's upstairs bedroom.  
  
Remus was waiting for him.  
  
"Well?" Remus said sitting down on a couch and waving his wand producing a notepad, a quill and some odd looking glasses. A badge appeared on his chest that read, "Dr. Remus Lupin,"  
  
"Tell me Mr. Black," he said with a joking smile, "What is it that is bothering you?"  
  
Sirius groaned and fell onto Remus's bed. He pointed his wand at Remus and the notepad, quill, and glasses disappeared with a pop. Remus narrowed his eyes and then sat back as Sirius began.  
  
"Remus, I've been having very strange dreams-"  
  
"Dreams?" Remus questioned, "Shouldn't you be talking to Lily about this Sririus? That is more in her field, you know how she has predictions..." he trailed off staring into Sirius's handsome face.  
  
"I can't talk to her about these dreams," Sirius said giving him a meaningful look.  
  
Remus drew in a breath,  
  
"These dreams you're having, they aren't about her are they?" Remus asked him with fearful eyes.  
  
Sirius nodded. Looking away from Remus's prying disbelieving eyes.  
  
"What kind of dreams are they?" Remus asked him with some hesitation.  
  
"Sometimes, they are dreams, of the two of us, memories that are not my own. The two of us together, sometimes as friends, sometimes as more. Having a picnic by the lake at Hogwarts. Laughing over something in Hogsmede, in the library, in the common room, all at Hogwarts." Sirius said shaking his head.  
  
"But you and her, were never friends, nor anything more, or is that why you hated each other so?" Remus asked looking suspicious.  
  
"No, never. I would never do that to James," Sirius said solemnly. He instinctively reached for his ring. The one thing that comforted him. Though he did not know where it came from, it always warmed his heart. It had appeared on his hand after the sixth year. He figured it could have been a gift from one of the many girls who adored him.  
  
"Other times," he continued, "I will be sitting in a dark room and she will come to me begging me to remember her. I don't understand what she means, but she will caress my skin until i go insane with longing, and with guilt. She will lower her lips onto mine, and I can taste her sweetness, and she tells me she misses me. I can't make any sense of it Remus, I have never felt anything towards Lily."  
  
Remus looked at him for a long times, running his hands nervously through his blonde hair.  
  
"How long have you been having these dreams?" he asked.  
  
"Since the seventh year," Sirius whispered.  
  
Remus's eyes widened that was almost three years ago.  
  
"You've been having these dreams about her for nearly three years and never said anything?" Remus asked him.  
  
"No, I just thought it was a phase, it would go away," he whispered, "You know what else is funny, Remus?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Whenever I'd have these dreams, the next day or so after I'd call the Potters to talk to James, and He would never be home. She tells me, that he had been out at quiddtich all night and was sleeping, or he was gone for the week, or had a new catch at work. The list of why he was never home would go on and on. And so it seems I always dream of her, when he is not there. Like my subconscious is guilty of dreaming of a woman when she is lying in bed with her husband, especially when her husband happens to be my best friend." Sirius looked up at Remus for answers. He longed to hear soothing words, anything to take away his guilt.  
  
"Maybe you are jealous that James got the one thing everyone thought he would never have, when you always come by things so easily?" Remus suggested, "Or maybe because he got the family that all of us always wanted. We were all orphans together Sirius, You, James, Peter and I, all orphans for some reason or another, all longing to have the best of the best, and now James has betrayed us in a way, because he has all that we've ever dreamed of."  
  
"Perhaps you're right Moony, old boy," Sirius said feeling slightly comforted.  
  
"I would write to Dumbledore and ask him for one of the draughts of potion that ensures dreamless sleep, of course you will have to explain it to him, and there's no reason to lie, you know he practices legimency." Remus suggested.  
  
"I think I might," Sirius smiled getting up, "Thank you Remus, you are a life saver! Now I will let you head back down to your woman, and I do apologize for barging in,"  
  
"No problem, what are friends for?" he asked with a shrug, as he stood up and embraced Sirius, "What are brothers for?"  
  
Sirius grinned, "They are for everything!"  
  
"Surely I will be seeing you soon at James's?" Remus asked.  
  
Sirius gave him a quizical stare.  
  
"Harry's first birthday is coming up at the end of this month, surly being his Godfather I'd thought you'd know Padfoot,"  
  
"Of course I knew Moony," Sirius said with a hearty laugh, "I will see you there, Goodnight,"  
  
Remus smiled as Sirius disaparated with a loud pop. He hoped everything was okay with Sirius. And he also hopped that everything was okay with Lily and James. 


	31. Gnawing Questions

Sirius decided to take Remus's suggestion to heart and speak to Dumbledore about his problem. He did not, however, write to Dumbledore, he thought it would be better if he consulted him himself. Face to Face. It would be better, because then the professor wouldn't get the wrong idea. He would see the guilt wash over Sirius's face, and rest in his deep, normally sparkling eyes. At work that week Sirius hadn't been able to look James in the eye. He wanted so bad to talk to his friend, but he felt so guilty and confused by his dreams. He figured Dumbledore was his best bet.  
  
While walking down the long dark corridor of Hogwarts, Sirius made a mental note to thank Remus by buying him a butterbeer sometime. He made it to the corridor that headed to Dumbledore's office. His only companions were the brightly lit torches. The flickering fire light flashed through Sirius's head. He stumbled as the odd brightness of the flames blinded him. He crashed into the wall. The familiarity of this situation haunted him. The familiarity of this hall, the fire light, it all haunted him.  
  
"Lily," he whispered as she pulled out her wand, staring up at him with huge, fearful green eyes. "Sirius," she whispered back, touching his face tenderly, as if he were to break, she closed her eyes and raised her wand. He opened his mouth to say something. "I-"  
  
"Mr. Black!" someone called bringing him back to reality. Sirius reached up and rubbed his eyes, leaning into the cold cement on the wall. He looked up towards the voice, and stared at Nearly Headless Nick, the Gryffindor Ghost. "Good evening Sir Nick," Sirius replied. "Shouldn't you be in the Gryffindor Common room by this time? Or are you planning to loose us more points? Where is James?" Nick wanted to know. Sirius let out a hearty laugh, "James is at home with his wife, and I don't go here anymore!" Nick gave him a perturbed look and then floated through the nearest wall shaking his head. Sirius laughed again, and then climbed the long staircase to Dumbledore's office. Now he felt really at home. The office hadn't changed much since Sirius had last been in it, right before his graduation day. Silver instruments still covered the various round tables, and books littered the walls. Dumbledore sat at his desk, in a large arm chair, with his back to Sirius staring at the fire. Sirius approached quietly not wanting to disturb Dumbledore. He was a wise and renowned wizard and was always drifting off into thought. Sirius sat down in a chair in front of the desk and let his eyes wonder towards the stair cases that were on either side of him that led up to Dumbledore's living quarters. "Good evening Mr. Black," Dumbledore whispered. "Sir?" "I always know when somebody as troubled as you are approaches," Dumbledore told him, turning around and peering at Sirius, "What can I do for you?" "Well," Sirius looked up into Dumbledore's kind grey blue eyes. Sirius trusted this man, and thought of him as almost a father. He looked away, not wanting to disappoint him, "I've been dreaming." "Dreams, beautiful things really," Dumbledore said out loud, "Tell beautiful stories, some of the present, more interestingly the future, and more harshly the past." "I'm not sure what story my dreams tell," Sirius replied uncertain. "What have you been dreaming of?" Dumbledore asked leaning back in his chair. "A woman," Sirius whispered feeling guilt wash over him. Dumbledore chuckled, "Come now Sirius, dreaming of a woman, what's so troubling about that?" His smile seemed to show relief. "But-" Sirius hesitated, preparing for Dumbledore's disappointment, "She's married." "The forbidden woman," Dumbledore smiled sympathetically, " Intrigues us all Sirius, you don't need to feel this badly about it," "But-" Sirius began. Dumbledore sat up more attentively. "But what?" he encouraged. "Sir," Sirius looked down at his hands, "I've been dreaming about Lily Evans...Potter," he said her last name as more of an afterthought, though he didn't know why. Dumbledore remained silent for quite some time. Sirius couldn't bear it. "Sir?" "James's wife," Dumbledore sighed, "No wonder it has been bugging you," "Sir," Sirius cried defending himself, "I swear I don't mean to. I don't have feelings for her like that, I never have." Dumbledore looked wearily across the desk at him, "I seem to recall a certain dislike the two of you had for each other." "I swear to you, I have never dreamed about Lily, willingly. I wouldn't do that to James, he is like my brother." "Trust me Sirius, I know. You do not need to look so fearful, I am not angry with you, nor do I blame you. I will not tell James," Dumbledore said hastily, his forehead crinkling in thought, "Now please tell me about these dreams," Sirius let out a shallow sigh, "Well sometimes, I have dreams, like fragments of a memory, but it's not my own memory. Me and Lily together, here at Hogwarts. In the common room, the library, the halls," Sirius began, but paused as he thought he saw fear flash through Dumbledore's eyes.  
  
"Please continue," Dumbledore said with a weak smile, as he folded his hands in his lap. "Other times, it will be just me and her, in this cloudy room. She will kiss me, touch me, and tells me to remember her. Tell me she misses me," Sirius burst out, "I don't understand what she means; I don't understand why I have these dreams," Dumbledore nodded, "Is there anything else Sirius?" Sirius froze, feeling odd, that Dumbledore knew he had not finished telling him everything that haunted his mind. "Sometimes, when I am well awake, I feel like there's a part of me missing, I feel like there's something my mind is keeping hidden from me. I have flashbacks, but I don't know what is dream and what might be real Sir," Dumbledore let out a sigh, and rubbed his temple. "Couldn't you read my mind, or something?" Sirius asked hopefully, "Help me figure out why this is happening?" After a very pregnant pause Dumbledore leaned towards Sirius, "If I were to read you mind I would find no answers Sirius. We can not change what happens to us, we can only change the things that lead up to an event. So if I read your mind, I would only see the event, not why. The only thing you need to remember is that all things happen for a reason." Sirius was stung, that Dumbledore, the greatest wizard alive could not help him. The other thing that stung him, was again the haunting familiarity of his words. Hadn't they been spoken before? "All things happen for a reason," Sirius repeated to himself. "Accio Sleeping Draught" Dumbledore whispered. An odd shaped bottle flew off the bookshelf nearest him, from where it had been used as a book end, and landed in Dumbledore' hand. The books toppled over as Dumbledore handed the bottle over. "I am sorry I can't do more Sirius," he said, as if reading his thoughts, "Take this potion before you go to bed, however, I can't promise it will be effective." Sirius nodded standing up, feeling somehow crippled. His mind was playing awful tricks on him and there was nobody in the world that could help. He was alone. "Now if you'll excuse me, there is a pressing matter I must attend to!" Dumbledore said. Sirius knew their conversation was over. He stalked out of the Headmaster's office bitterly shoving the potion into his robes.  
  
"Lily!" Dumbledore bellowed into the green flames that rippled through his fireplace. He watched as she approached her fireplace cautiously. "Oh Dumbledore, how good to see you!" she said politely. "I need you in my office now," he said to her. "Now?" she asked, her brow furrowed. "Right now!" he cried pulling his head out of the flames and standing up. He retreated back to his desk and sat down in the arm chair heavily. It was only a moment or two before his flame burst green again and Lily hopped out of his fireplace brushing off soot. "Sir?" she questioned just as meekly as Sirius had. "Sit," he said bitterly. Lily obeyed, and walked gracefully over to the chair Sirius had sat in and sat down, tucking in her emerald green robes. A woman sat before him, the last time she had been here, she'd been a young adult, full of hatred and confusion, battling a war with her heart. He'd thought she'd finally won it, but apparently he was mistaken. "Lily, how could you still enter Sirius's mind?" he asked getting straight to the point. "Why, Dumbledore, I wasn't sure if I still was." she stammered. "How could you not?" Dumbledore said losing his nerve. "I have been dreaming about him, but I never thought, never knew...I entered his mind?" she whispered looking up at him. "Don't you know?" he asked her, "Don't you understand how bad this is? You've entered his mind more than once," Dumbledore took a deep breath, calming himself. Lily's green eyes filled with tears, "Sir, I didn't know, I am sorry," "Don't you love James?" Dumbledore asked cruelly. The minute he said it he wished he hadn't. "Of course I love James, and Harry too, but Dumbledore you must realize, that deep down, I will always love Sirius, he was my first love, and you made me throw it away, because I have to have this stupid horrible gift," she roared, her temper flaring, "How can you sit there and blame me for this, I have the right to dream about where my heart belongs don't I? I promised him we would always be together in my heart, in his heart of hearts, and I feel I am still in his heart deep down. I know I have to stay with James, and save him and Harry, and I am doing what you asked, and I have fell in love with James, and I let Sirius go a long time ago, but I guess my subconscious doesn't want to let go. I have done what you asked me to. How can you be angry with me?" "I am sorry Lily," Dumbledore said quietly, his wise eyes lowering, "You must understand the pressure I have. I just want the world to be safe. If Sirius remembers fully, I don't know what will happen. If he remembers and Voldemort finds out we are in big trouble. You need to remember to close your mind off at night, like we practiced." "No!" she cried standing up, "You must understand, I loved him! And I did what you wanted me to do! I hate you! I hate this 'Gift'!" "Lily calm yourself!" Dumbledore cried back at her, "I realize what I have done, but It had to happen, there was no other way," Lily blinked a few times before sitting down, "I am sorry," she apologized, "I guess I didn't want to shut off my mind, I've been so selfish," "No I am sorry," Dumbledore replied, "I should never have asked you to do what I did, I am a smart man, there must have been other ways," "There can't be Dumbledore, "There is only one heir to Gryffindor," "I suggest that we put you and James under the protection of the Fidleus charm, and you may have a Secret Keeper, just incase Sirius does remember," "Can't we modify his memory?" Lily asked. "The man is destroyed enough, modifying his memory would only make it worse, and plus, we would have to wipe out his whole adult life," "I promise I will close my mind off," Lily said feeling guilt wash over herself. "Go home, and explain to James that Voldemort might be after you, and tell him you need to find a secret keeper," Dumbledore told her. "I will," Lily promised standing up and making her way to the fireplace, she paused and turned around, "Albus?" Dumbledore looked up at a frail and torn Lily. Never before had she used his first name. He walked over and embraced her. "It will be alright Lily, I promise," he whispered soothingly. "I don't want James or Harry to die," she whispered. "The charm will protect you all, you will be fine," he said wiping away her tears. Lily hugged him closer and sobbed into his long white hair. He closed his eyes, praying that everything would work out okay, that Lily, Sirius, James and most importantly Harry would be okay.  
  
The two of them, Lily and Dumbledore didn't hear the soft scuttle of claws on wood and an abnormally pudgy rat raced quickly down the bookshelf from where it had perched to listen to all that was said. He'd been aroused when Dumbledore had called Lily's name from her fireplace in Godricks Hollow. Some would think it was rude to leave behind company. But Peter Pettigrew hadn't been company this evening. No he'd just been there, sitting on the window ledge, transformed into his animagus form. She hadn't noticed at all. The rat smiled to itself. His master would be very pleased with the information Peter'd just overheard, oh yes, Lord Voldemort would be very pleased... 


	32. Haunted

"My Lord," Peter squeaked joyously as he ran through an abandoned house hastily trying to find his master, "My Lord!" Lord Voldemort was going to be very pleased with him. He had just found out a great deal of valuable information. Lily was in love with somebody else! Peter wasn't sure why he had joined with the Dark Lord anymore. Before it had been, because he was sick of being pushed around by James, Sirius and Remus. He knew he had no real friends; Lily was the only one who was ever overly nice to him. One day, during his seventh year at Hogwarts, Peter had overheard a few Slytherin boys discussing some meeting with a wizard who promised them power and revenge on all those who deserved it. Peter followed them, but once he was in the clutches of Voldemort there was no escaping. Fear overtook Peter for over a year, but now he was used to spying on those he once and still had to call friends, and the constant screaming that filled his head was normal. Even the punishments didn't seem that bad. Voldemort was particularly interested in Peters "friends" and so Peter had become a great asset to him. His "friends," and Peter himself were involved with an organization called the Order of the Phoenix, which worked against Voldemort and his rising power. Peter had been responsible for many of the murders that had happened to members of the Order, as well as the destruction of the very famous Longbottoms. He always seemed overly interested in James Potter aswell, but Peter never questioned why, it was probably because James was the best Auror the Ministry had, and was a great threat to him. But Peter had hopped for power, so that he could stop being the follower, and become the leader for once. He was still a follower, but he didn't regret his choice. Not yet at least. "My Lord?" Peter whispered as he neared a closed door at the back of the wooden shack. Screams filled Peter's ears as he pushed the door open with his small pudgy hand. Bellatrix Lestrange was curled up on the floor smiling. The Dark Lord was standing before her in his dark robes, his wand arm outstretched. "Crucio," he muttered again, and Bellatrix's screams filled the room, but they didn't sound painful. She smiled up at him in pleasure, holding her stomach. "More," she cried. Peter gasped, she was enjoying it! How could anyone enjoy the Crucicatus curse? "Not when he is here, watching, standing at the door like and idiot," Voldemort said maliciously. Bellatrix looked up from the floor and blushed furiously, "You!" she cried. Bellatrix had always had a dislike for Peter. She was Sirius's cousin, and they'd met many times before, not only in front of the Dark Lord. Bellatrix had hated Peter since they day they'd met, when Peter had stopped by the Blacks house with James Potter. "I-I'm sorry B-bella," Peter whispered backing up through the doorway. She paced towards him, her wand ready at chest level. Peter whimpered knowing full well that he would not enjoy the Crucicatus Curse if she put it on him. "My Lord, please, I have important information for you!" Peter cried out for help as he fell to the floor. "Bella, leave him, and leave here, we can continue this after Wormtail tells me his news," Voldemort sneered, sitting down in an armchair. Bella glared at him, her once beautiful face curling up in a scowl, "I will get you Peter," she whispered to him as she touched his cheek with the tip of her wand, and as she moved it across his skin, it ripped open his flesh and blood dripped down his face. She finished with a sharp shove to the side of his head, and then left. "Get up!" Voldemort ordered. Peter winced at the pain that was searing across his cheek as he staggered to get up. "Master," Peter whispered walking in front at him. Voldemort's heartless black eyes stared up at him, "What news do you bring?" "I was at the Potters house, watching Lily," Peter smiled as he remembered how beautiful she was. "Do not think about a beautiful Mudblood in my presence!" Voldemort barked. "S-sorry Sire," Peter muttered, "Anyways, she got this call from Dumbledore, he seemed pretty angry, told her to get to his office straight away. So I figured I should follow," Peter glanced fearfully at his master, who seemed to be growing impatient, "They had a heated conversation, it involved Lily loving Sirius Black!" Voldemort looked up, "Did you say that Lily loves Sirius Black? Potter's best friend?" "Yes, yes," Peter smiled at his happy master, "And Dumbledore said something about having a secret keeper, to protect them," he whispered excitedly. "A secret keeper!" Voldemort cried, "Why this is all just falling into my hands, it's to easy! Who is there secret keeper?" "They haven't chosen one yet, but I am pretty sure that it will be Sirius. James trusts him far beyond anyone else," Peter confessed. "Ah, that's where it becomes more tricky, if we question Black he will resist, he is to strong," Voldemort sat there thinking for quite some times, while Peter ripped a piece of his robe off, to soak up the blood that covered his face. "Wormtail, my boy, I have just thought up the perfect Dumbledore proof plan!" Voldemort cried excitedly.  
  
"James dear, could you clean the living room for me while I finish baking this cake?" Lily asked sweetly.  
  
"Of course," he replied walking into the kitchen where she stood in front of a large bowl filled with chocolate batter.  
  
"You are so wonderful," he whispered in his ear, before kissing her neck.  
  
"James!" she protested pulling away, dipping her finger in the batter and rubbing it onto his face.  
  
"Feisty one aren't you?" he laughed.  
  
"Depends on what you consider feisty," she whispered leaning over and kissing him, "Now go!"  
  
James grinned at his beautiful wife as she continued to stir the batter in the bowl.  
  
"We're lucky men Harry," he said to the small child in the play pen. He walked over to him and picked him up. Harry gurgled happily and James held him close.  
  
"The living room James," Lily said, not turning from her bowl, "Put the baby down, and go clean the living room, people are going to be here any minute!"  
  
James smiled, finally Remus and Sirius and Peter would all be over at the same time. They were all coming over for Harry's first birthday. He strolled into the living room pulling out his wand. He muttered a cleaning spell, and things straightened themselves out immediately. James smiled, satisfied at his work, but paused when he heard the door open and close.  
  
"Prongs?" Remus Lupin's voice called, "Oh Hello Lily, you look marvelous!"  
  
James entered the kitchen and watched as he best friend walked across the kitchen to give Lily a hug,  
  
"Hey get your own woman!" James laughed.  
  
"And there's Prongs Junior!" Remus cried running over the play pen and picking Harry up. He tossed him into the air, smiling at him. "I haven't seen him for about 3 weeks! Would you look at his eyes,"  
  
"Aren't they wonderful?" Lily smiled at Remus from across the room.  
  
"Can I get you something to drink Moony?" James asked making his way to the fridge.  
  
"Sure, do you have any fire whiskey?" Remus asked, moving into the living room.  
  
Lily stooped to put the cake in the oven, and then took off her apron and followed Remus to the living room, where the pair began having a lively conversation.  
  
Before James had finished pouring drinks, Professor Dumbledore and Mad-Eye Moody walked in.  
  
"Hello!" James cried.  
  
"Hello there Potter!" Moody snarled.  
  
Moody was an Auror as well and also belonged to the Order of the Phoenix. Dumbledore bowed politely and took off his pointed hat.  
  
"Please make your way to the living room," James said, "Harry is in there,"  
  
The two men, proceeded, and the door swung open again revealing more people from the Order, including Peter.  
  
"Peter!" James smiled, "How are you old boy?"  
  
"Great, how's the wife?" Peter asked.  
  
"Wonderful, she's in the living room with everyone else." James said grabbing a tray of drinks and following Peter and the other guests to the living room. He set the tray down and smiled at everyone who were talking together.  
  
"Lily," James called, she looked up, "Where is Sirius?"  
  
Lily's brow furrowed and she shrugged.  
  
Sirius guided his broom down to the ground slowly. He hopped off and walked across the large lawn towards the Potters place. He stopped half way there, as pain filled his head. He grasped at his temples dropping his broom. He closed his eyes.  
  
"I was so scared," Lily sobbed clutching onto his shoulder as her long red hair blew about them. They were on a broom, together.  
  
"Lily," he said looking into her eyes, "Its okay, I'm here now, you are safe."  
  
Sirius gasped, and opened his eyes again. He took a deep breath. He was okay. He picked up his broom, and laid it against the house. He entered quietly, taking in the smell of chocolate cake. Lively conversations echoed through the kitchen, from the living room. Sirius took off his coat and hung it over a chair. He walked over towards the door way. He could see James sitting on the floor talking to Moody. He saw Remus and Peter sitting beside each other talking to Lily. He paused when he saw her. Guilt began to wash over him once more. His breathing became ragged. She looked up, and caught his eye. He reached for his temples, he glanced up at her. She was laughing at something Remus had said. He closed his eyes,  
  
"Sirius," Lily whispered huskily as he lowered his lips on her again. She reached down and slowly undid the ties on her pajamas.  
  
"Lily!" he warned huskily, "If you do that I might not be able to stop myself,"  
  
"I don't want you to stop," Lily whispered.  
  
His eyes fluttered open.  
  
'Stop!' he told his mind. He walked over to the fridge and pulled out a Butterbeer.  
  
"Padfoot is that you?" James called. Sirius closed his eyes again, feeling guilt wash over him.  
  
"Hey!" He cried turning around and throwing a fake smile towards his best friend.  
  
"I was beginning to think you'd never come," James said, with a grin.  
  
"Me not come?" he laughed, "I wouldn't miss Lily's cooking if my life depended on it!"  
  
He glanced past James through the doorway at her long red hair and sparkling green eyes.  
  
"Remember me!" Lily cried, "Remember me as you used to,"  
  
Sirius winced again, and touched his head.  
  
"Padfoot are you okay?" James asked looking worried.  
  
"Just have a bit of a headache, no need to worry," Sirius smiled opening his butter beer.  
  
Something tugged at his mind, wanting to come out. Something wanted to be remembered. It wouldn't come to him.  
  
"Well, come in the living room, I'm sure Lily and Harry will be pleased to see you!" James said throwing an arm around his neck and leading him into the living room. Sirius let out a sigh, as Lily looked up at him and smiled.  
  
"Hello Sirius!" she said, but something about her eyes, and her hair, and her smile haunted him. 


	33. The Secret Keeper

The party lasted a few hours, and after everyone had enjoyed a wonderful meal cooked by Lily, they enjoyed cake while watching Harry and James open Harry's presents. It was a good laugh, watching James crouch down beside his son, looking just as curious and eager as the one year old.  
  
"You know Lily, you're nuts for marrying such a man," Moody joked, "It's more like you have two kids,"  
  
Lily grinned at him, wrapping her arms around James as he sat on the floor,  
  
"No I think I was very lucky," she smiled at him.  
  
James reached up and stroked his wife's cheek, smiling his toothy, lopsided grin. Sirius let his eyes avert the happy couple, who were no doubt very much in love. Why was he letting his mind assault their relationship? Why was he letting his mind push he's best friend and brother away? He got up with a sigh and moved to the kitchen to top off his fire whiskey. From the commotion he heard in the living room, it was very probable that many of the guests were leaving. That meant he could get away from Lily faster, which meant he could stop thinking about her, and stop feeling guilty. He downed the glass of fire whiskey in one gulp and wiped his mouth before slamming it down on the counter. Still pain riveted through his head, causing his eyes to flutter shut.  
  
"Sirius?" Remus called from the doorway, "Are you okay?"  
  
Sirius opened his eyes but didn't bother to look over at his other friend,  
  
"I will be fine Moony, don't worry about me,"  
  
"Did you write to Dumbledore?" Remus whispered coming closer.  
  
"No, I went and saw him, and he gave me the sleeping draught, but he didn't give me answers," Sirius fussed, rubbing his eyes.  
  
"What kind of answers were you looking for?" Remus asked, narrowing his eyes.  
  
Sirius turned to look at him, his deep eyes piercing his bestfrined sharply, "I need to know why, even when I'm perfectly awake, I find myself thinking about her, and having all these, visions of her in my head, when I don't even care about her, and the memories I see aren't even mine. I need to understand why it feels like there's a part of me that's missing, and I need to know why everything that she does haunts me,"  
  
"He didn't say anything?" Remus asked.  
  
"All that he said was that 'All things happen for a reason,'" Sirius muttered as he leaned against the counter.  
  
He closed his eyes, as the sentence tugged on his mind.  
  
"Hold me closer Sirius," whispered Lily desperately.  
  
"Sirius?" Remus was holding him by the shoulders and looking into his face with concern filling his eyes.  
  
"I'm okay," Sirius said pulling away.  
  
He looked up, and past Remus he watched as Lily pulled James to his feet and whispered something in his ear. His face became grave as he turned towards Remus and Sirius, who were standing in the kitchen.  
  
"Moony, Padfoot, would you come in here, there is something we need to talk to you two about." James called, as he stooped to pick up Harry who'd crawled towards him.  
  
Sirius entered the living room giving James a questioning stare, before noticing that he, Peter and Remus were the only guests left.  
  
"Please sit down," Lily said quietly coming up beside him and placing her hand on his arm to comfort him.  
  
He winced at her touch but sat down. He felt his nerves racing in the pit of his stomach. Had Dumbledore said something to Lily and James about his dreams? He took a large gulp of air and stared at his hands.  
  
"Lily and I, would like all of you to know that Dumbledore told us some very interesting news." James paused, waiting for his friends to look up at him, but Sirius couldn't bare to do it. Dumbledore had gone and told them. Sirius closed his eyes waiting for James to say it.  
  
"Dumbledore has informed us that we are next on Voldemort's list," James gulped, "I understand why, I mean Lily and I are way to involved in the Order, and I am one of the best Auror's in the ministry, and my Quidditch Carreer makes me known to many wizards and witches, so my death would become very public, inflicting fear on all those around us." James lowered his voice to a whisper, "So Dumbledore decided it would be best if we found somebody we trusted to be our Secret Keeper. The Secret Keeper would keep the secret of where we were so that Voldemort will not be able to find us, and therefore protecting us."  
  
"I will do it!" Peter cried out, startling baby Harry who sat in his arms.  
  
"We appreciate that Peter," Lily said softly, "We really do, but you're marks weren't that good in Charms or Defence Against the Dark Arts, and the position of Secret Keeper would be very dangerous. Dumbledore said that Voldemort might think that we would be using a Secret Keeper and try to interrogate all of our friends, or even torture it out of them."  
  
Sirius opened his eyes, starring at James. Voldemort was after him, and Lily and Harry. He wanted to kill them? How was this possible?  
  
"We had to narrow out Remus as well, although he would be a wonderful Secret Keeper as he as excellent at Charms, but being a Werewolf, we can't let him be Secret Keeper, incase he is transforming at critical times, We are sorry Moony," James explained, "So Sirius that leaves you, and we all know here that I trust you beyond anybody else, so I am asking you, can you be our Secret Keeper?"  
  
"Please understand," Lily whispered as tears entered her eyes, "We did not wish to ask any of you, we care about you too much, but Dumbledore suggested we keep this within our close friends, since noone can tell who is working for Voldemort these days,"  
  
Sirius stood up, at the sight of his frightened friends.  
  
"Ofcourse I will be you're secret keeper. I will not tell a soul, James, you, Lily and Harry mean the world to me, and if it was any of us, we know that you and Lily would keep our secret." Sirius whispered, looking away from his hurt friend, that trusted him so much.  
  
Guilt washed over him for the umpteenth time.  
  
"Well now that that is settled," Peter piped up standing and handing the baby over to Lily, " I guess I will be going, got a lot of work to do." He muttered.  
  
"We will be seeing you soon?" Lily asked with a smile.  
  
Sirius glanced at Peter who seemed so eager to leave, and watched him smile sadly, "You will be, Goodbye, Padfoot and Moony,"  
  
And with that he was gone.  
  
"What was he rushing off for?" Remus wondered standing up and walking towards Lily and James, "I just want you to know that I understand you're decision and even though I am not your Secret Keeper I will do everything I can to help protect you," he whispered reaching up to kiss Lily's cheek, ruffle Harry's hair and hug James.  
  
"Everything will be fine I promise," Remus said smiling weakly at James.  
  
"Remus," Lily whispered, burying her head in her baby's black hair, "Promise me that if James and I don't survive this you will take care of Harry, and you to Sirius," she looked up at them with tears streaming down her pale face, "Promise me!"  
  
"We promise," Sirius whispered, pained by her tears. He watched James put an arm around his wife as he tried to control his emotions.  
  
"Well I guess I should be going," Remus whispered, "We'll see eachother soon," he muttered sadly before disaparating with a loud "POP!"  
  
James let out a deep sigh and reached down to collect the empty goblets that guests had left behind.  
  
"Sirius, you know I can't thank-you enough. All these long years, you have done everything I can think of for me, and you have been a true brother, the true brother I didn't have, please promise me that if anything bad happens, you give up our information instead of getting yourself k-" James paused not able to say the words.  
  
Sirius reached out and put his hand on James's shoulder,  
  
"I promise," he whispered, and James pulled him close, the two best friend holding each other close.  
  
James pulled away, wiping his eyes hastily and carrying the load of goblets to the kitchen. Lily and Sirius stood alone in the dim living room. She stood there clutching her baby to her chest as fear filled her green eyes. Sirius stared at her his breath picking up, his mind tugging at his heart. What was going on with him? How could he still be thinking about her at a time like this?  
  
"We'll I'd better be going," he said awkwardly, "Goodnight Lily,"  
  
She starred at him, her green eyes boring into his deep ones.  
  
"Goodnight," She whispered and closed her eyes rocking Harry back and forth.  
  
Sirius disapartated with a loud "Pop!" 


	34. The End Of Things

The month of August and September flew by, and James and Lily's third year anniversary drew closer. James and Lily had gone into hiding shortly after Harry's birthday party and only the order still saw them. James told the ministry he was sick and took leave from Quidditch. Sirius had gone through all of the necessary procedures to become their secret keeper with out complaint. Lily was truly proud of him, almost as much as she was scared of him, since she knew he'd been remembering a lot of things. She'd learned to close of her mind, even though she had to battle with herself every night. She missed Sirius with all her heart. She'd been seeing a lot of him, and the thought of his deep dark eyes always made her long for him.  
  
This night, in October, Lily was sitting in Harry's nursery rocking him to sleep. She must have been rocking for quite some time, because James came in and smiled at her.  
  
"Lily it's almost ten, are you coming to bed?" He asked.  
  
She blushed, realizing she'd forgotten the time, and placed Harry in his crib gently. James came up behind her, resting his chin on her shoulder.  
  
"He's so amazing isn't he?" James asked.  
  
"Yes," she whispered, "He's my second favorite man,"  
  
"Who is your first?" James asked spinning her around.  
  
"You of course," she replied touching his cheek.  
  
James stooped to kiss her deeply. The kiss took her breath away, but she pushed him away.  
  
"James not in front of the baby," she scolded.  
  
"He's asleep," James protested.  
  
"I don't care," she said, walking off to their bedroom.  
  
He followed her like a puppy dog, watching her hungrily as she pulled her dressing gown off. They climbed into bed, and snuggled together.  
  
"Are you cold?" he whispered tugging the blankets around them.  
  
"Not anymore," Lily smiled, as James pulled himself on top of her.  
  
James kissed her passionately, and told her he loved her many times before they both drifted off to sleep.  
  
"And now, the final steps to our plan are unfolding," Voldemort cried excitedly, "Finally the Potters will be dead!"  
  
Peter smiled up at his master,  
  
"And all I have to do is go tell James he needs to come home right?"  
  
"Right, Now I will send Bella off with the other Death Eaters to go cause ruckus, to lure James to them, Lucius already took care of the other Aurors, so all will be set!" Voldemort grinned evilly, "Oh and of course you will have to let me practice on you,"  
  
"P-practice on me? For what?" Peter stuttered.  
  
"So I can be ready for Mr. Black, if he's anything like his cousin he will be hard to overcome!"  
  
Sirius shifted uncomfortably in his bed. He was dreaming again, but it wasn't one of his regular dreams. He was sitting beside Lily in a class, that looked like Professor McGonagall's transfiguration classroom.  
  
"Look I didn't ask for the Potter fan club okay?" she said darkly.  
  
"I didn't mean to offend you," Sirius said back.  
  
His mind whirled as he changed positions. Now he was sitting in a small room. He looked around him and found he was sitting in a pile of muggle clothes, with robes hanging about his head. He starred ahead through the small crack in the door.  
  
"Daddy.." Lily cried out in pain, as a man gripped her hands harder and harder.  
  
Sirius felt his heart swell, as his breathing became harder.  
  
"Don't call me that!" the man roared.  
  
He was standing in that corridor again, the one outside Dumbledore's office.  
  
"Lily what's wrong?" he asked as she shook uncontrollably in his arms.  
  
She pulled him closer clutching at his shirt, "Sirius." she whispered.  
  
"James!" Moody's voice rang through Lily's bedroom, "Potter!"  
  
Lily squirmed underneath her covers, letting her eyes flutter open. She sat up and saw Moody's head in her fireplace.  
  
"James," she whispered shaking him gently, "James wake up."  
  
He groaned, but sat up.  
  
"Lily what is it?" he asked groggily, "Are you alright? Is Harry okay?"  
  
"They are fine," growled Moody from the fire place.  
  
"Moody!" James cried, sitting up further, "What are you doing here at, "he glanced at the clock beside their bed, "3 o'clock in the morning,"  
  
"There's been a huge riot in lower London," Moody told him.  
  
"Riot?" Lily asked alarmed.  
  
"Death-eaters," Moody explained, "And they're killing muggles,"  
  
"Shit," James muttered, pulling himself out of bed, but Lily grabbed his arm,  
  
"James we are supposed to be in hiding, if you go out there you'll be killed."  
  
"Mrs. Potter, I know you and James are supposed to be hiding, but Kingsley was injured the other night, and so was Rewaldski.. The Longbottoms, as you know, have been out for a while, it's only me and Fletcher left, James you've got to come. We can't do it by ourselves."  
  
James pulled himself out of Lily's grip,  
  
"Lily, I've got to go," he whispered, looking pale.  
  
"You'll be killed!" she shrieked.  
  
"I always come home Lily, and this time is no different," James told her, "And besides its either my life, or a bunch of innocent ones."  
  
"But James you don't understand!" Lily cried.  
  
"Lily, I will be fine," he said pulling on his cloak, "I will be there in 10 minutes Moody."  
  
"Good, Meet my outside the Ministry." Moody said, "Goodnight Mrs. Potter,"  
  
"Goodnight Mrs. Potter?!" she screamed, "James you can't go, please!"  
  
"Lily, this is my job,"  
  
"I am your wife!" She sobbed, "You have a child,"  
  
"We always go through this, and I always come home," he said as he fished in a drawer for his wand.  
  
"This isn't supposed to be happening!" Lily cried, throwing herself at James.  
  
"Lily, I love you, I will be fine," he told her and with a short kiss, he was gone.  
  
Lily sank to her bed, still crying out loud, feeling in her heart that something bad was going to happen. She closed her eyes, as tiredness overtook her. She tried to think of something other than James. Her thoughts rested on Sirius's deep eyes. She sat up with a sharp beat of her heart and starred at herself in her mirror. She looked pale, and scared in her white nightgown. He dark red curls hung loosely around her red rimmed eyes. She knew she was coming towards the end of things. But she wouldn't give up on him. Sirius loved her deep down, she knew it. Maybe she should just give it up now, and be with Sirius before the end. She longed to dream of him. Longed to know he remembered her love. But she knew she must save Harry and James if she could. She let out a heavy breath, trying to shut her mind off from Sirius.  
  
You don't remember me but I remember you  
  
I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you  
  
but who can decide what they dream?  
  
and dream I do...  
  
I believe in you  
  
I'll give up everything just to find you  
  
I have to be with you to live to breathe  
  
you're taking over me  
  
Have you forgotten all I know  
  
and all we had?  
  
You saw me mourning my love for you  
  
and touched my hand  
  
I knew you loved me then  
  
I believe in you  
  
I'll give up everything just to find you  
  
I have to be with you to live to breathe  
  
you're taking over me  
  
I look in the mirror and see your face  
  
if I look deep enough  
  
so many things inside that are just like y you are taking over  
  
- Taking Over Me by Evanesence 


	35. Remembering OMG OMG! only one or two cha...

Sirius couldn't help but stare at her, sitting beside him looking like something that only the most beautiful things on the earth could have produced. Lily stared back at him with such adoration in her bright green eyes. Yet she seemed reluctant to come closer to him. . He longed to touch her. He neared her, reaching out for her face. Her pink lips parted slightly as he made contact with her warm cheek.  
  
"Sirius," she let out, her eyes fluttering shut.  
  
He loved it when she said his name like this. He'd heard it over so many times before in his head. He felt his heart stir as she trembled beneath his touch. He moved his hands to the back of her neck, pulling her down to him as he lay on the bench. She looked down at him, licking her lips in anticipation. As his lips drew closer to hers she let her eyelashes kiss her freckled cheeks. And then he kissed her. It was a slow, passionate kiss, and Sirius found himself drawing in all the love he could muster from this single kiss. It was now he realized that he wasn't gazing at Lily out of lust. Sirius loved her with all his heart. He gave all that he had to her in that kiss and she returned it, savaging his mouth, looking for his heart. When he finally pulled away he kissed her forehead softly,  
  
"I can't loose you Lily, I just can't."  
  
"You won't," she promised, but even as she promised she began to drift away from him into the dark sea that evaded his mind.  
  
She fell into the pools of his deepest memories, which held secrets he'd been trying to unlock. It was now that Sirius sat straight up in his bed, like he'd done many times before when he'd been dreaming of her. He let out a sigh as the blankets fell from his bare chest and piled around his waist. A new wave of familiar guilt washed over him as he lowered his forehead to his hands. He was dreaming about her again, and yet he'd taken the sleeping draught. It had been working so well. He thought hard about the hours prior when he'd taken the potion. Had it not been enough? He let his hands slid up his face to his dark rich hair, where he tugged on it in frustration. Maybe some more of the potion would remedy his dreams?  
  
When he got to his dark kitchen, he noticed it was almost morning, he felt as though he'd barely slept. He found the bottle of dark red liquid and poured some of it into a nearby phial. He wasn't sure if taking more would be okay, but he didn't want to dream of her. He glanced at a photo of him and James that hung on the wall. Would this always plague him? Would the guilt of dreaming of his best friends wife always follow him, and would he never know what it was that his mind was trying to tell him? Here he was, their Secret Keeper. Lily, James and Harry's life all rested in the palm of his hand, and yet he was struggling to keep his hand safely around them. He was struggling to keep his own life in order, and yet he was protecting another life. Would James still trust him this much if he knew who it was Sirius had been seeing in his head for the last three years? In two days Lily would have been married to James for two years. Had she been coveted since the day they married? Sirius raised his glass towards the picture, as if toasting to his friend, and then downed the bubbling and hissing potion in one large gulp. Sirius made a face as the horrible tasting drink slowly made its way down his throat. He threw the phial in the sink and trotted back to bed, not realizing that although his mind would be sleeping his body was going to be very much awake. Sirius did not realize that Peter Pettigrew, in his rat form, was sitting on his bedroom window sill, motioning to Lord Voldemort that Sirius had indeed gone back to bed. And as Sirius fell back to sleep, he did not hear the silenced entry of the Dark Lord.  
  
"Well now that I have Sirius Black in my clutches, the rest of this should be easy," Voldemort whispered, as he stood of a sleeping Sirius.  
  
"Should I go tell James he needs to come home soon?" Peter asked glancing at the clouds through the window noticing that their edges were beginning to turn a lighter shade of blue.  
  
"No, Bella sent word that the riot is only just beginning. Plus you have to give me time to actually make this happen." Voldemort muttered.  
  
"Do you really think Potter will make me his secret keeper after this?" Peter asked.  
  
"Well it will be a full moon, tomorrow night, so little werewolf boy won't be able to do the job now will he?" Voldemort reminded Peter through gritted teeth as he moved his cold beady eyes to Sirius, "Slumbercento!"  
  
A blue light emerged from Voldemort's wand and rested over Sirius, slowly sinking into his skin.  
  
"Now he won't wake up, while I do this," Voldemort explained, raising him voice a little, "Won't be able to fight the curse,"  
  
Peter giggled and clapped his hands.  
  
"Well I think its time Sirius woke up and paid a visit to the Potter's place, what do you think Wormtail?"  
  
"Oh I think Lily would be quite pleased to see Padfoot!" Peter squealed, "Remember, Dumbledore said he was beginning to remember something, so just make him pretend like he's remembered and it should go very well."  
  
"Good, after Sirius leaves, give him about twenty minutes head start before you go and tell James to come home," Voldemort warned.  
  
"What should I tell James?"  
  
"We went over this!" Voldemort yelled, becoming angry, "Tell him something is the matter with Harry and he'll run home!"  
  
"Okay, twenty minutes," Peter nodded.  
  
"Imperio!" Voldemort cried pointing his wand at Sirius.  
  
As soon as the sun hit the cottage house in Godric's Hollow Lily sat straight up in her bed. She glanced around the room searching for James. His pajama's still sat on the floor where he'd dropped them. The blankets were still pulled down on his side. Lily fell back down on the bed letting out a sigh. Shouldn't James be home by now? Maybe he was, and he just hadn't wanted to wake her up. She pulled herself out of bed, and rushed to open the door. The kitchen and hallway were dark, the bathroom door was open. She turned the handle to Harry's nursery. Harry was still sleeping peacefully in his crib. She reached over the bars and stroked his dark hair, wishing that James were here. Safe, Home. Suddenly she had an idea. Perhaps Dumbledore knew of James's whereabouts, perhaps Dumbledore could persuade James to come home. She ran back to her bed room and grabbed her dressing robe. She pulled it around her tightly and then reached for some flew powder and kneeled down to look for Dumbledore. She threw the powder in, commanding the green flames to take her to Dumbledore's office. She stuck her head in the flames, and peered out at the empty office. Dumbledore's desk stood empty, Fawkes was missing from his perch.  
  
"Professor Dumbledore?" Lily called.  
  
There was no answer.  
  
"Professor Dumbledore?" She cried again, more desperately.  
  
"Albus," she sighed, she closed her eyes.  
  
Perhaps he was still sleeping. It was early. She pulled herself out of the fireplace. A figure moved from the upper level of the office.  
  
"Albus?" Lily questioned, but Professor McGonagall emerged from the shadows.  
  
Her long black hair was dangling past her shoulders, and Lily was taken back not to see it pulled up into a severely tight bun.  
  
"Lily," she called, "What brings you here, is everything alright?"  
  
"I am sorry Professor; I was looking for Professor Dumbledore,"  
  
"I am afraid you wont find him at Hogwarts dear," McGonagall said wearily, "I'm sure you heard about the riot in lower London, I'm afraid even Professor Dumbledore was called to aid, their have been many deaths, wizard and muggle."  
  
Lily let out a gasp, no Dumbledore, wizard deaths?  
  
"James." she let out.  
  
"James?" Professor McGonagall cried, "He didn't go did he? I thought you were in hiding?"  
  
"He told the ministry he was on sick leave, they came to retrieve him last night, Moody apologized but they needed him. Professor, you don't think." She paused not wanting to say what she thought, "you don't think James could be dead do you?"  
  
"No, of course not," McGonagall comforted, "You look horrible, why don't you go back home and get some rest, James will be home soon I'm sure of it!"  
  
Lily nodded, feeling butterflies rise in her stomach. She grabbed some more floo powder and stepped back into the fire place. She named her own house and in few seconds the green flame engulfed her.  
  
When the whirling finally stopped she stood in her own living room, but she wasn't alone. Sirius was sitting in her favorite arm chair, but he jumped up as she emerged from the fireplace, rubbing soot from her dressing robe.  
  
"Sirius," she cried, "Were you at the Riot, did you see James, is he okay?"  
  
Sirius remained silent, as he walked towards her.  
  
"Sirius?" she asked, but more quietly.  
  
There was something different, about the way he moved. The actions seemed forced. Was he okay?  
  
"I didn't go to the riot, I am too amateur, they didn't contact me," he said in a low voice.  
  
"James, he was called, oh Sirius I am so afraid he is going to get hurt!" she said stepping towards him, but Sirius was staring straight into her eyes without blinking, "Sirius?"  
  
"Lily," he sighed, in such a longing way that Lily's heart jumped.  
  
"Sirius?" she questioned again narrowing her eyes, this time distancing herself from him.  
  
"Lily I know," he whispered, closing in the distance between them.  
  
"You know?" she questioned, her eyes growing large with fear, hoping, praying, he didn't know what she thought he might.  
  
It couldn't have happened, she'd shut of her mind from him, she'd tried so hard, refused herself. Oh please, don't let him remember now.  
  
"I've remembered Lily," he whispered, tears filling his eyes, "I've remembered everything," he continued getting closer.  
  
Lily backed up slowly; she knew if he said the right things, she wouldn't be able to stop herself. She wouldn't be able to put a pause on her heart, especially if he was willing to let her love him again. But you've made it this far, she scowled at herself. She continued backing up, staring into his deep eyes, getting lost in him.  
  
"You love me," he whispered, as she backed herself into the wall, "I know you do,"  
  
Her lips began to tremble, he knew, he really had remembered. She felt her body press against the coolness of the drywall as he continued to come closer. He was so close she could see the laugh lines around his eyes. So close she could feel his warm breath against her face. So close she could see the tears forming in the corners of his eyes.  
  
"Oh Lily," he whispered, bringing his face closer.  
  
Lily's heart beat had filled her head, and she was sure that the wall was vibrated from the large thumps. She was married. She loved James. James, he was out, he was out fighting the Death-eaters.  
  
"Sirius," she breathed, blinking slowly, feeling her body throb for him, "I'm married,"  
  
"But you love me," Sirius reminded, reaching up and putting a finger under her chin.  
  
The gold ring that rested on his hand caught the light, and Lily was filled with warmth. She thought of his love, the love she'd forsaken and tried to forget all these years. And here it was standing in front of her, willing her to give in. His lips stood ready, just centimeters from hers, his eyes, pleaded with her, begging her to seal the reunion of their hearts. She grasped onto the wall as his face came extremely close. She felt his eyelashes flutter against her skin. She felt his warm lips caress her cheek, she let out a sigh. He ran his fingers through her hair, and then his lips met hers. She'd longed to feel the smoothness of his perfect lips in more than just dreams for so long. He rested his lips on hers for such a long time, and yet it felt like a split second. Her body trembled as he slowly ran his tongue along her lips, and she longed for his taste, longed for his love, longed for him. Her lips parted and Sirius deepened the kiss as she let out a moan, still grasping at the wall, still pushing her body against it. She felt the long lost passion rise through her body, and the heat come to her cheeks. She was aware of his body, as he pressed it against her. It had been so long, to long since she tasted his sweetness. She felt his hands against her face, stroking her face. Her breath became short as their lips moved against each other. Just when she thought her heart was going to explode it stopped dead, the room became icy.  
  
"Sirius?" James's agonized voice broke through Lily's mind like a dagger.  
  
As Sirius pulled away sharply Lily closed her eyes, as her body gave a last shudder.  
  
"Lily?" James cried, he voice breaking.  
  
An emotion rested in her throat as Lily tried hard to sink into the wall. She tried to swallow the lump that had risen, with no luck. Tears slipped through her closed eyes.  
  
"James," she whispered, "Oh James," 


	36. The wilted Lily

"James," Lily whispered, not bothering to look at him, feeling guilt begin to pool in the pit of her stomach.  
  
She was still grasping at the wall, clutching it, pressing her body against it, trying to hold herself up. James stood in the doorway with Peter; his eyes were large and full of pain. She couldn't see him, but she could feel his pain course through the room, chilling it. The coldness of his pain seeped through her dressing robe and her chest where it settled in her heart. "What the hell is going on?" James roared. Sirius still stood before Lily, his lips still pink from their kiss, his dark hair falling in front of his deep glazed eyes that were staring at her even as her husband stood in the room. Lily's chest began to heave as panic stuck her. What had she done? She lowered her eyes to the floor.  
  
"Sirius?" James cried in demand as his rage blinded him, "What are you doing? What did you do to my - my wife?!"  
  
He took long strides towards Sirius,  
  
"I trusted you!" his booming voice echoed in the silent room.  
  
Lily gasped, tears falling down her face as James seized the back of Sirius's robes and threw him across the room with all his might.  
  
"I've been your brother," he yelled as Sirius crashed against the wall opposite Lily, "I've been through hell for you, and this is how you repay me? This is what you do when I am not at home?"  
  
Sirius sank down the wall, shielding his face as James raised his wand angrily. James' breathing became ragged as he stared at his mutinous best friend lying on the floor in front of him pathetically. James glanced at Lily who was still cowering against the wall staring at James and Sirius. Her face was pale and her body trembled. Peter had moved closer to her in attempt to comfort her but she took no notice. He turned back to Sirius, a huge scowl curling off his lips,  
  
"Get out of my house," James growled, "Before I hex you to death,"  
  
He paused pulling Sirius to his feet, holding fast to his arm,  
  
"I never want to see your face again, I thought you were better than this. I trusted you," he cried opening the front door and pushing Sirius out.  
  
"James!" Sirius pleaded.  
  
"Goodbye Mr. Black," James snarled slamming the door in his face.  
  
Lily pushed her head back, resting it against the wall. Her body was becoming cramped, but she kept still. She could not believe what had just happened. If she only hadn't let Sirius kiss her. But she'd wanted it, just as much as he did. If he truly remembered their love, he'd be back she knew it. If he didn't come back, Lily wasn't sure what she'd do. She stared at James still facing the closed door, propping himself up by his arms and his head hanging low. She felt her heart lunge. She loved him as well.  
  
"J-James," she whispered, her voice barely audible, "I am so sorry,"  
  
He stood slowly, and turned to look at her, she noticed that tears were threatening to fall out of his red rimmed eyes.  
  
"Oh Lily," he cried, "My Lily, don't apologize, I saw the way he had you pinned against the wall, I saw that you couldn't move," James stepped closer, "Did he hurt you Lily? Did he try anything else?" she watched his eyes dart quickly, taking in the rest of her body.  
  
She simply shook her head unable to speak. He thought she was innocent. He thought Sirius had forced her. Relief fell over James's troubled face. He reached out touching her cheek tenderly. She closed her eyes and fresh tears slipped out. He caught them readily. He moved his hands to her shoulders, pulling her towards him. He peeled her from safe spot against the wall. He knees gave way, and the realization of everything that had just happened washed over her. She shook from head to toe as he wrapped his arms around her, supporting her. He rested his head on her shoulder as the married couple embraced. Lily found comfort in his warm embrace, as she sobbed onto his shoulder.  
  
"James, Lily," Peter interrupted.  
  
Lily pulled away from James letting herself fall limply onto the couch.  
  
"I don't know if either of you noticed but Sirius has been acting very strange lately, you don't think," Peter paused his blue eyes growing large, "You don't think he could be working for the Dark Lord do you?"  
  
"No, Sirius would never do that, I trust-"but James stopped putting forth Sirius's defense.  
  
Lily watched James's face and realized that James was taking what Peter had said into consideration. If only she had've let Sirius go when she'd had the chance. If only she hadn't selfishly dreamt about him, if only she didn't have this curse of a gift.  
  
"You trust him?" Peter pushed, "Prongs."  
  
"No of course I don't," James said angrily, "And he's."  
  
James paused in thought,  
  
"Lily!" he cried, "Sirius is our secret keeper, he can't be, we can't trust him."  
  
"James," Lily shook her head not liking the idea of switching secret keepers.  
  
"Peter," James said rounding on him, "I know this is asking a lot of you but we really need you to be our secret keeper. Do you think you could do that? Remus isn't around and you are the only other friend I can trust."  
  
Peter smiled up at James,  
  
"Of course, it would be my honor, I will just go get Dumbledore," Peter cried.  
  
Lily looked between James and Peter and knew that no matter what she said, this was happening. She owed this to James. She owed him everything.  
  
"I can do it," She whispered, as they both paused to look at her, "I can do the charm,"  
  
James smiled weakly; he walked over to the table by the arm chairs and pulled some paper and a quill out.  
  
"I will just write a quick note to Sirius informing him of our little change," James explained.  
  
Lily knew he was writing the note because he wanted to hurt Sirius. She knew that James knew that this would ensure the end of their friendship, which was something in all her dreams she had never foreseen. When James had finished jotting the two line note, he let out a chirp and the Potters owl flew through the open kitchen window and into the living room.  
  
"Renian take this letter to Mr. Black," James muttered refusing to mention Sirius's first name.  
  
He tied the small piece of parchment to Renian's leg tenderly, but when the bird gave him a reproachful look, cocking his head to one side James sighed,  
  
"Take it to Sirius, Renian," he finished stroking the birds grey feathers affectionately.  
  
Renian left through the kitchen window with a loud hoot.  
  
"Now we shall begin," James said, turning back to Lily and Peter.  
  
It took Lily all afternoon to complete the procedure. The Fidelius Charm was especially complicated, and having such a heavy heart didn't help the matter. Finally when their secret had entered Peter's soul, and Lily felt satisfied that it had worked, she fell into her armchair, feeling extremely tired. James comforted here, and Peter excused himself, saying he had to return to his job at the ministry.  
  
"Shouldn't we tell Dumbledore?" Lily said breathlessly as James carried her to their bedroom, as they both needed to rest and little Harry was already napping.  
  
James laid her on their bed gently, resting on top of her.  
  
"He is still at the riot Lily, we can tell him tomorrow," James said watching Lily yawn.  
  
"James, you know, I am really sorry about today, what a horrible way to celebrate our anniversary, I sw" but James cut her off with a finger to her lips,  
  
"Let's not talk about that Lily, I love you that is all that matters."  
  
"I love you to James," she replied closing her eyes.  
  
Peter smiled slyly as he walked towards the same shack the Voldemort and the Death-Eaters were still residing in. Were James and Lily Potter really that daft? They'd been so bright in school. He clapped gleefully before entering, knowing his master was going to be pleased. He now could tell him everything he would need to know. By morning the Potter's would be dead, Peter would have his revenge and he would be second in command to Voldemort. Bellatrix Lestrange could kiss her place in Voldemort's circle goodbye. With the Potter's gone, Dumbledore and the order would be distraught and Voldemort would be free to rise to full power and overthrow the ministry.  
  
'I know this is asking a lot of you Peter!' he mimicked James in his head.  
  
To bad James didn't realize he'd just signed his own death papers, Peter thought as he rounded the corner to find Voldemort sitting in his chair stroking his Serpant Nagini.  
  
"Ahh, Wormtail, I am very pleased, you walked in with James at the most opportune moment, excellent," Voldemort congradulated, but Peter felt himself being forced to move closer to the Dark Lord. "But did you get the job done?" Peter nodded with a cunning smile,  
  
"I can't believe the Sirius Black didn't wake up while I was controlling his body," Voldemort snarled proudly, "Where are they?"  
  
"They are in Godric's Hollow My Lord," Peter squeaked, and he felt as if something inside of him snapped.  
  
He stepped back from Voldemort shaking all over. A sweat broke over his face, and he fell to his knees.  
  
"What is it?" Voldemort cried.  
  
"It's their secret!" Peter replied breathlessly.  
  
Suddenly a large scream issued from Peter, but it was not his voice, Lily Potter's scream echoed through the shack, rousing all the Death- Eater's attention. James's agonized yell was next, and Peter fell on his back, as the secret he'd bound to his soul exited. Before it was over, Peter Pettigrew blacked out.  
  
Lily carried Harry from his nursery out to the kitchen. She'd had a wonderful rest and was about to make super. Harry clutched merrily at her long red hair, nuzzling her cheek into hers. She kissed his forehead with the first real smile she'd had for a while. She'd had such a horrible day. Her thoughts kept resting on James and then Sirius. She placed Harry in a highchair that was magically floating and mentally summoned some baby food from the cupboard. Next a spoon and bowl came flying from a neighboring cupboard landing in front of Harry, who stared at the objects with his large curious green eyes. Lily laughed softly at his expression before pouring some food into the bowl and waving her wand, bewitching the spoon to feed him so she could turn her attention to supper. Making supper was quiet an easy job, but she paused as she heard James exit their bedroom, pad down the hall towards her and then through his arms around her from behind as he always did.  
  
"Some wedding anniversary huh?" she asked as he spun her around.  
  
"It may not have started off well," James whispered pulling her closer, "But it can end well can't it?"  
  
She smirked at him, kissing his cheek lightly and brushing his messy bangs out of his face.  
  
"I'm afraid your son has inherited your messy hair," she frowned.  
  
James smiled softly at his wife, before sweeping her into one of the most wonderful kisses she'd ever shared with him.  
  
"James," she whispered as he pulled away, feeling her heart warm up once more. It was amazing that two men could make her feel this way.  
  
"Lily,"  
  
But a knock at the front door interrupted them. Lily frowned slightly, who would be calling at this time? Perhaps Sirius had received his letter and was back to defend his weak pride? Or perhaps he had returned to claim Lily as his.  
  
"Just put dinner on the table, I will get it," James told her as she began to move towards the living room.  
  
She placed two of her best plates full of food on the kitchen table, and light two candles with her wand while she listened to the door open, and James inquire,  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Well if it isn't Mr. Potter!" A terrible voice snarled.  
  
A terrible coldness, colder than this morning settled in Lily's bones instantly as if freezing her to the spot.  
  
"Lily take Harry and Go! It's Him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off -" James shouted, but Voldemort's high pitched cackle rose over James's voice.  
  
Lily scrambled grabbing her precious child, holding him close to her chest as she ran towards the back of the house, going straight into her bedroom. She shut the door behind her, her heart was racing. She stood, rocking back and forth. Had Peter done this? She heard James's incantations and hexes, Voldemort's fleeting laugh, and malicious spells. She sank down to the floor, starring down at baby Harry, who looked frightened but remained silent. Flashes of different colored light, poured in through the cracks in the door frame in flashes.  
  
As she sat there huddled on the floor clutching her baby to her chest, Lily decided to open her mind to Sirius. She watched herself enter the shadowy cloudly room. Sirius was sitting on the wooden chair with a blank look on his face. It had been so long since she'd willingly opened her mind. She reached out to touch him, but he looked up at her and became startled. For the first time he jumped out of his chair.  
  
"Lily?" he questioned.  
  
"Sirius, please you have to listen to me," she begged, "I know that you've remembered that we loved each other once."  
  
He opened his mouth to respond but she cut him off,  
  
"I want you to know that I have always loved you, even though I was with James, I never wanted to leave you in the cold hall, I never wanted to hurt you. I had to do it. Please understand I had to save Harry. I had to do all this to save the world. Please tell me you remember that day when you found me, crying, mourning my love for you. Please tell me you remembered how I kissed you that night, as the tears stung my eyes. After I had knocked you out, I slipped the promise ring you gave me off my finger, enlarged it and put in on your hand, hoping that maybe someday you would remember," she said quickly the tears slipping down her face, "Sirius, I love you so much, I always have, and even if I am gone after this night, I will always be with you in your heart. Please remember that all things happen for a reason. I know that James is mad at you right now, but he loves you to, and please Sirius take care of Harry, if I'm not here to do it, I never thought I'd have to say goodbye to you again," she gasped a sob, "I never thought I'd have to kiss your sweet face goodbye, but it's happened twice." She choked, reaching down and kissing his sweet lips.  
  
She was surprised when he responded the way he did. It was as if he reached into her heart, and told her all the things she had needed to hear all through the years. She pulled away hastily.  
  
"I don't want to loose you," he whispered.  
  
"You never will," she whispered back, placing her forehead on his, "I love you,"  
  
Lily had no choice but to sink back into the shadows of his mind before disappearing and she cried as she heard him calling out for her.  
  
When she returned to reality, James's cries for survival rang in her ears. Harry's wails gave away her whereabouts.  
  
"Harry," she whispered stroking the baby's sweaty head, "Oh Harry, shhh!"  
  
And suddenly Lily's heart stopped beating for a split second as the room was filled with an unbearable green light. She knew this green light. She knew what it meant. She heard the thud of a body on the floor. She gasped raising a hand to her mouth. Footsteps came closer to her bedroom door, as Lily pushed herself further back into the darkest corner of the room, James.. The door creaked open slowly. A loud cackle filled the room, and Harry began to wail again.  
  
"Ahh, Mrs. Potter, and this must be Harry?" Voldemort asked coldly as he entered the room.  
  
The hairs on Lily's neck stood on end, as fear engulfed her. Was this really the end?  
  
"James?" she whispered, a sob escaping from her throat.  
  
"Dead," Voldemort said casually.  
  
"No!" she cried, stifling her scream with her hand.  
  
Voldemort threw his had back and laughed.  
  
"Now if you would just step out of my way, and let me kill that boy, this can be all over," Voldemort said cruelly.  
  
"No, I won't," Lily cried, remembering Dumbledore's advice, too keep Harry alive.  
  
"You don't have to die, I don't have to kill you," he told her.  
  
"I won't let you!" she screamed.  
  
Flashes of light blinded her as she threw herself across the room, dodging his spells. She watched in horror as pictures fell, and dressers shattered into pieces as if they were glass. Pretty soon her whole room was upturned, and Lily was left, clothes torn, face smeared with dust and sweat, in the furthest corner of the room still clutching her baby. Voldemort closed in on her, raising his wand.  
  
"Not Harry! Not Harry! Please, I'll do anything," she begged, she would do anything to save him, she loved her child, he must survive.  
  
She wracked her brain, searching for some sort of spell she could use, but her heart sank as she remembered her wand on the kitchen counter. She could only do simple charms without magic. Charms, she thought hard. Her brain poured over thousands of charms that she had learned over the years but her mind rested on an essay she'd written for Professor Flitwick in her seventh year on ancient magic. Ancient magic. She couldn't do it without a wand she couldn't.  
  
"Stand aside, stand aside you silly girl!" Voldemort cried. She shook her head,  
  
"Please," she begged, as he raised his wand to chest level. She closed her eyes, saying the spell over in her head.  
  
"Avada Kadavera!" he shouted, and Lily's world went blank.  
  
She never heard Harry cry out as he fell to the floor as she slumped down the wall slowly, with blank eyes. She never saw her charm, which she'd preformed without a wand work, as Voldemort was reduced to nothing when his curse rebounded off of Harry. Lily Evans Potter was dead.  
  
Millions of images of Lily floated through Sirius's mind. It was as if his mind was running a race, it stopped suddenly on an image of her frightened face, covered in sweat and dust. Her scream filled his mind. He sat up suddenly. His bed sheets stuck to his sweaty body, and he felt sore all over. He glanced at the clock. He'd slept until 5pm? Had the sleeping draught made him sleep for that long? He rubbed his eyes with his hands, as the light from the full moon bathed over him. He noticed an odd lump at the end of his bed He looked down to find Renian, James's owl sleeping at the end of his bed. Did James and Lily need him? He was suddenly wide awake as he read the piece of parchment he'd untied from Renian's leg.  
  
Mr. Black, Due to certain circumstances, you are no longer our secret keeper. We have entrusted our lives to Peter Pettigrew, our faithful friend. The Potters.  
  
Why was it so formal? Their faithful friend Peter? None of this made sense. Sirius rubbed his eyes again, re reading the short letter making sure he read it correctly. He began to pull himself out of bed, but suddenly pain rushed to his temples. He closed his eyes and was sucked into that familiar cloudy room. Lily stood in front of him. It had been a while since he'd been here. She reached out to touch him, looking more frightened then he'd ever seen her. He jumped up,  
  
"Lily?" he questioned.  
  
"Sirius you have to listen to me," she begged.  
  
The things she said after that, made Sirius curl up inside. She explained it all, he felt his mind piece itself back together like a puzzle as she rolled out facts. She'd loved him, he'd loved her. They'd been together. He remembered now. The flying lessons, her visions, James's parents death, his suicide attempt, the promise ring. He reached down and stroked it. He remembered the way she'd been here for him. Suddenly his heart filled with such a love that he'd never felt before. Why had she left him? Why had she abandoned their love after she'd promised, to keep it alive. He remembered, her gift. She could read peoples minds, make predictions, enter others minds in physical form. That explained his dreams. The memories he'd forgotten. The night she'd said goodbye came flooding back to him. She had to save the wizarding world form Voldemort, her father. Sirius's breath caught, as what felt like his whole life came flooding back to him. She had to save her child. She hadn't wanted to leave him. She'd told him they would always be together. He thought about her pale face that night. The tears pooling in her green eyes. They're final kiss, and vows of love. She promised him, before she'd erased his memory. Sirius sat down. But why would they switch secret keepers? He thought of Lily's face as she drifted from his mind. She thought he had remembered before. Maybe she'd thought he'd remembered and didn't have any reaction. Maybe she thought he was angry. He needed to tell her he'd just remembered, he needed to show her he loved her. He needed to feel her touch, her lips. He threw his robes on quickly, ran down to his garage and took out his flying motorcycle. He needed to see Lily.  
  
The flight to the Potters was a short one, and Sirius was so out of his mind, he'd forgotten to put the invisibility booster on. As he neared their house, he noticed the smoke rising through the trees and the amber glow that shone against the deep blue sky. He drove faster, and as he landed carelessly on their lawn, he gasped at what he saw. Parts of the Potters cottage in Godric's Hollow was in flame. He ran across the lawn, crying out for Lily. He through open the front door, and stared at dishevled living room. Amungst the rubble, James Potter, Sirius's best friend, and brother lay dead, the leather bound photo album lying open close to his side, to the picture of himself holding his newborn son. Sirius felt a sob rise in his throat.  
  
"James?" He cried, kneeling down.  
  
He stared at James's motionless face, his hazel eyes glazed over. Sirius let out a howl, much like that of when he was a shaggy dog, and cried into his dead friend's chest. He clutched onto his robes as he sobbed violently. A loud wail erupted from the back of the house that was beginning to fill with smoke.  
  
"Harry!" Sirius choked, wiping his tears that blurred his vision.  
  
He stumbled to the hallway, and he saw James and Lily's bedroom door, hanging open loosely on its hinges. Sirius entered carefully, glass crunching below his feet. He stopped dead. There on the floor, her head still resting against the wall was Lily. Her face was a pale as the night she'd said goodbye to him, Her normally sparkling green eyes, were dull. Her face was blank. Sirius's knees gave out as his heart tore for the second time in his life. He fell to the floor in shambles.  
  
"Lily!" he screamed, as he pulled himself towards her, not noticing the glass from broken pictures slicing into his hands.  
  
He pulled himself onto her body, and placed a bloody hand under her chin.  
  
"Lily, I'm here," he whispered, with a sad smile, "Lily I've remembered,"  
  
She didn't respond.  
  
"You loved me!" he cried, "You promised me, we'd always be together,"  
  
She still did not respond.  
  
"Lily," he whispered, hope leaving his eyes, "Lily please wake up, please be alive,"  
  
She didn't stir,  
  
"Lily," his voice cracked, and his voice was replaced with sobbed, that echoed throughout the death ridden home.  
  
He reached down to his hand, where her promise ring lay. He slipped it off his bloody fingers and pushed it onto her own stiffening hand.  
  
"Did you miss you're ring Lily did you?" he whispered, tears streaming down his face.  
  
"I love you," he begged her, "Please, come back!"  
  
Harry let out another cry,  
  
"'Arry," a booming voice questioned.  
  
"Hagrid!" Sirius yelped, staring up at the Hogwarts Game Keeper from the dirty floor, "They are dead!"  
  
Hagrid's eyes filled with tears.  
  
"It's a shame, they were good people they were," Hagrid muttered wiping his eyes with his sleeve, "I've come for 'arry Sirius,"  
  
"Hagrid, let me take him!" Sirius cried pulling himself to his feet, tears streaming down his gaunt face, "I'm his Godfather,"  
  
"I've got me orders Sirius," Hagrid said reaching down to pick up Harry from the rubble.  
  
Both men gapped at the large lightening bolt shape scar on the baby's head.  
  
"Take my motorbike Hagrid," Sirius said staring out the window, "I won't be needing it anymore," he whispered thinking back to the letter that was lying on his bed.  
  
Peter had been the Secret Keeper. Peter had betrayed his friends. Peter had killed the love of Sirius's life. Sirius ran from the house like a mad man. Not knowing he was going to find Peter and get framed. Not realizing the ministry officials would swoop down around him, listen to Peter yell that Sirius had betrayed the Potters, and then kill 13 muggles before faking his own death. When the ministry officials stepped forward with their wands raised, Sirius lost all control and threw his head back and laughed. He'd stopped laughing the moment he arrived at Azkaban Prison. The Dementors, soul sucking demons, there sucked every happy memory from him. But as he sat there on the dirty floor of his cell, watching numerous Death-Eaters pour through the jails. Sirius was left to think of his hatred, and Lily. He thought hard about his love for her, and as she began to be pulled from him mind by the dementors, as her face faded into the darkness, Sirius couldn't bear to looser her for the third time. He had to hold onto her like she'd held onto him. He swore to himself that one day he would get out of Azkaban and take care of Harry like he'd promised. He needed to be close to her, and Harry was the only way.  
  
Across the world is Surrey, England, Professor Dumbledore was wearily laying a basket containing a baby named Harry and a letter on the doorstep of number 4 Privet drive. 


End file.
